Weaning and Breastfeeding Substitutes
March 7, 2008 by Angela White, J.D., breastfeeding counselor
Filed under breastfeeding, toddler nursing, weaning
After nearly three weeks without nursing my 3-year-old, I think it is safe to say she has weaned! It has been a long, slow process as I strived to meet the needs of my daughter while she gently weaned.
From a physical standpoint, I am glad she has weaned. It is not easy to breastfeed while pregnant (although I have done it before). However, from a mothering standpoint, I have been sad that I do not have breastfeeding as an instant way to help soothe my daughter when she is tired, sick, grumpy, or just plain needs to connect with me. I can see, though, that my daughter is very adaptable and was ready to wean, because she has come up with her own breastfeeding substitutes. She never took a pacifier (except a “chew-chew” to chew on!) or favored a “lovey.” Now that she’s no longer nursing, she likes to feel my earlobes or stroke my cheek. It is not excessive or annoying, just a sweet gesture as she wakes up in the morning and tells me that she loves me (and loves my earlobes). She also asks, “Can I lay in your lap?” and we snuggle. Sometimes she requests a “one-finger back rub” up and down her spine as another way to relax.
If you have a child who weaned, did you notice any breastfeeding substitutes?
My daughter weaned at 19 months. It took almost 6 months for her to figure out that she needed a substitute–her thumb. She didn’t start sucking her thumb until she was 25 months old! She plays with her bellybutton and sucks her thumb whenever she’s tired or watching tv. It’s rather a cute and sweet thing, but we don’t want it to last forever! In the between time, I think she just liked being held and cuddled, but she got to the point where she didn’t want the cuddling as much, so she found a suitable substitute. It’s cute when she falls asleep and her thumb falls out, because she still “sucks” with her tongue, and it is so much like when she was nursing and would fall asleep and let go.
I think it was the hardest for me when my 3 year old (at the time) weaned herself, but I too was expecting and really wanted this to happen. She never had the lovey either but would curl up in my lap and have me gently stroke her cheek until she fell asleep. Today, she’s a very busy 7 year old that thinks she knows everything. Oh and I’m once again trying to wean. (not her but my almost one year old)