Wet-Nursing and Cross-Nursing Are Becoming Popular
January 6, 2007 by Angela White, J.D., breastfeeding counselor
Filed under breast milk, donation of breast milk
There’s an interesting article entitled “Not Your Mother’s Milk” by Viv Groskop in yesterday’s Guardian on current trends in wet-nursing (hiring someone else to nurse your baby) or the more informal “cross-nursing” or “shared feeding” among close family members and friends. Groskop touches on the morality and legality of the practice around the world, and she mentions the fact that having a wet-nurse has become a status symbol in some countries and is becoming more popular in Hollywood.
For more on the subject, see what La Leche League has to say about wet-nursing and cross-nursing, and read about the history of wet-nursing from sources compiled by Kellymom.
Oh my goodness, this idea makes me so uncomfortable! I worry about communicable diseases that haven’t yet been identified, and the effect on the relationship between mother and child if the bonding activity of breastfeeding is shared with or deferred to another woman.
However, in the event that the baby’s mother can’t breastfeed or dies before weaning, a single replacement nurser would be wonderful.
Fascinating topic! Thanks for bringing it up.
kk
When my babies are young my dh has strict instructions that if it’s impossible for me to nurse the baby (I were unconscious or whatever), that he is to ask a lactating friend to step in. Good thing I have so many LLL types for friends
I was wet nursed briefly, at 5 days old my Mom had to be taken back to the hospital for testing. I refused bottles of ebm and sucked on my Dad’s pinky finger all night long. The mom of my friend who has a few months older than me nursed me a few times. I turned out just fine
I would much rather have a lactating friend nurse my child them give my child formula. I would not oppose to being a wet nurse for a mother and child in need. I always told my hubbie if anything ever happened to me buy breastmilk if ya had to…I’m anti-formula
Kristen – I wonder about the bonding issue as well. An occasional nursing probably wouldn’t be a problem, but I would wonder about hiring a full-time wet-nurse.
Carrie – I agree with you – I would totally want someone (i.e. close friend or family member) to nurse my young baby if I were unconscious or otherwise not able to nurse. It would be traumatic enough for the baby to be separated from me. It would be awful to add abrupt weaning to that situation.
Averi, it would be such a lovely gift for a friend to step in where needed, or for you to be able to help a friend that way.
i really love to breastfeed my sister/friends baby. i nursed my sister baby.my sister nursed both my babies. i donot mind to give my milk to baby when it reqd,.i think baby is baby.baby is part of god .if god give me pleasure to feed .so we all should not feel hesitate to feed another baby with mother permission
Hi Romi,
I would love to talk with you more about your experience cross nursing. I am working on a piece for a media outlet.
Thanks,
Anna
annawild27@yahoo.com
I have not cross-nursed, but if something were to have happened to me, I’d hope that one of my friends would have nursed my son… or at a minimum, donated some milk to my husband for feeding. I have shared some of my expressed milk with friends when they were in need though (well, the baby was in need). I don’t see a problem with it if it’s not done all the time, but I too would worry about the bonding aspect if it were full-time.
Before I had my own babies, I thought this kind of thing was just too weird. After having my own and nursing them, it seems just as natural as can be.
Having said that, I have only nursed another person’s baby on 2 occasions. The first was after my sister had her first baby, and it was just too irresistable not to nurse him (I believe he was 2 weeks old at the time, and had a well-established nursing routine).
The second time was after a young mother had her first baby. She was very immature and had thought it not necessary to do any self-educating prior to her baby being born. After his birth, she became SEVERELY engorged. They had given her a pump at the hospital and told her that she’d need it but gave her no instruction whatsoever. She called me in tears when he was 3 days old because she was so engorged and her baby couldn’t latch on, and he was screaming out of frustration. When I arrived, she was pumping VIGOROUSLY. I believe I spent about 8 hours with her that day. I instructed her to put the pump away and then showed her how to GENTLY hand express to relieve the pressure (as well as sharing tips to relieve the problem). I spent much time trying to give her some basic information including the fact that the more she pumped, the more milk she would have.
That evening, she was still too engorged for the baby to latch (it took probably 12 hours or so before her engorgement even lessened a little bit). Because the baby was very hungry at that point, and she was SO worried that he actually did not know how to nurse, I sat down and nursed her little one. He latched on immediately, ate his fill, and then slept contentedly. By the next morning, her engorgement had lessened enough for him to latch on.
I enjoyed nursing my own children, but had a lot of pain the first couple of weeks, tender nipples. I would have loved to have someone take the job on for a day or two to allow healing, and the baby wouldn’t get nipple confusion with a bottle. I would love to help anyone past those first few weeks, or if they just needed a break for a couple of hours, just to get away.Any one in boulder area that needs help send me an email, cannot do it fulltime, just occasionaly
i am interested in becoming a wet nurse for mothers in need. eg. they have to go to hospital and have no lactating friends and need help please tell me where do i start
I have been scouring the web for safe guidelines on cross-nursing and have come up empty-handed. I will be nursing a friend’s baby for the next two days while she undergoes some cancer treatments. I’ve read what LLL, Time magazine, and wikipedia have to say about it, but I can’t seem to find any information about safety precautions. I have some frozen milk stored for my own baby in case I’m too tired or busy to feed her myself, but I guess I will just wash thoroughly between feeding each baby. Any advice?