Wordless Wednesday: Dual Purpose
October 22, 2008 by Angela White, J.D., breastfeeding counselor
Filed under activism, breastfeeding, breastfeeding photos, humor
Photo credit: ar.go.naut
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[...] reaction to this “Bond with your baby. Bond with your man” poster was strong and the comments section developed an interesting discussion. I would like to open the [...]
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Angela White, J.D., breastfeeding counselor
With three wonderful children, Angela has been breastfeeding for over six years. She was the Feature Editor for the UCSD Guardian newspaper. She started blogging in 2003 and launched Breastfeeding ... more
An interesting poster. My gut reaction to it is a bit “ick!”… but I guess that’s its point. It’s intended to start discussions, whether you love it or loathe it.
On further reflection, I appreciate portrayals of breastfeeding that are beyond the Madonna-and-child-little/no-visible-breast shots - they hopefully all contribute towards normalising breastfeeding!
And for the interest of others, the smallprint on the poster reads:
“You can give your baby the best start in life and still feel confident your breasts will put a smile on your man’s face. Ask your midwife for your free breastfeeding DVD.”
I agree LoopyNZ - at first I was taken aback. I like how it’s thought-provoking and how it makes the point that a breastfeeding mother is still sexy, and she does not have to wean for her husband to “get her breasts back” or some such nonsense I hear every once in a while.
Thanks for posting the fine print!
I have heard a few women say that breasts aren’t sexual, they’re for food. This picture reminds us that, for many people, they’re both. My husband is a “breast man” (they are major pleasure sources for me as well) and is fascinated by breastfeeding - he’s in awe that these body parts that he loves are capable of feeding our child. His feelings about it are very sweet and make me feel sexy and special.
I have two friends that have struggled with nipple pain, uncomfortable breast tenderness, and/or excessive milk expression during sexual activity, and I don’t want to minimize those struggles. I need to voice that here since some women may be reading this post and thinking they and their partners are struggling with those issues and wondering if they are alone or might be afraid to bring it up. I’m know that isn’t what you were calling “nonsense” Angela, but I had that knee-jerk reaction to reinforce to women that it is OK if they are having a hard time with some of those issues and there are resources out there (like those found through this blog) that can help.
P.S. –Who has that gorgeous flat stomach after having a baby young enough to have that tiny little hand??
Good point about your friends’ struggles Anon! Thank you for your comment.
And LOL about the flat stomach!
I have to agree about the flat stomach in the picture! I’d be very surprised if that model recently had a baby! Pretty picture either way, though, and an interesting topic. I have a friend who still had what she called a “very active” sex life after the birth of her son but she just didn’t want her husband to touch her breasts - it didn’t particularly hurt, but she didn’t find it pleasurable like she had before (I laughed when she confided that it felt the same as if he’d massaged her elbow - not unpleasant per se, but not “doing it” for her). It sounds like that is a legitimate issue for some people.
I’m a blog stalker and don’t often comment but feel compelled to post here - it was and continues to be hard for me and my DH surrounding the issue of my breasts. They used to be sources of sexual stimulation for both of us but now it just isn’t the same. I like the comment about rubbing your elbow. I now often feel “ho hum” about it and don’t want to fake feelings but I know it is a turn on to him. I’m happy to hear it may get better, but I think calling it nonsense trivializes what some of us are going through. Anyone else?
It is never my intention to trivialize anyone’s experience and I’m sorry it came across that way.
My experiences have run the gamut — from pain due to breast infections, to times where I just felt “touched out” and did not want to be touched (much less on the breasts!) to a return of pleasure (while continuing to nurse). I think my experience, aside from the painful infections, had less to do with nursing than with being tired from night-wakings and from the physical care of a baby/toddler.
I can see where it can be an issue on many levels — pain, change in sensitivity, fluctuation in hormones (due to mothering and/or nursing), sleep deprivation, and the image of the nursing woman — how the woman perceives herself and how her partner perceives her.
Thank you for bringing up this issue. I feel bad about feeling like my breasts are now for my daughter and I don’t feel “turned on” like I used to with my husband. We both totally agree that breast feeding is best for her and my sex drive eventually returned after 2 months, but I still don’t like him to touch my breasts! I wish it would return because he loves them and I love that he loves them. But I just don’t want him to touch them - I’m so happy to hear I’m not alone!
I agree with the post about feeling bad that my breasts are now for my child and I don’t feel turned on like I used to feel. I never expected to think “um, those aren’t yours anymore” when my husband touches my breasts. We totally agree that breastfeeding is the undeniable and very rewarding choice for our family, but it has meant a change in our sex life. I’m so glad to hear from other posters that we’re not alone!