ACK! Toddlers and Tiaras – TLC show
October 9, 2009 by Marijke Durning, RN
Filed under Children
What does a “review” on a television show have to do with health? I was so shocked by what I saw that I truly believe that it plays strongly into mental health. A couple of weeks ago, I watched, for the first (and last) time, the TLC show Toddlers and Tiaras. It was like watching a train wreck. My husband was shocked that I was 
watching it, but I couldn’t stop. I’d heard about it and had an idea of what it was about. After all, I do remember the sorry story of Jon-Benet Ramsey’s murder and all the talk about the pageant lifestyle. But I wasn’t prepared for this at all.
I know that there are any avid, passionate pageant lovers. I know that probably, for the most part, the parents do want the best for their daughters, but geez, is this really the right way to do it? One mom’s comment really struck me as very questionable. She said that doing pageants gave her daughter a lot of confidence and raised her self-esteem.
Self Esteem and Confidence
Ok, the self-esteem thing is a hot button for me. But more on that later. The confidence thing is what I want to address. Confidence in what? Confidence in being prettier than the other contestants? Confidence at being able to do a supposedly sexy hip thrust at the age of 6? Confidence in that spray tanning, fake teeth and a boat load of makeup will make you a prettier 5 year old than the natural look? what happens when that win doesn’t happen? When the crown doesn’t go onto her head? Sure, it’s a lesson in you can’t always win, but you know what else it teaches in this environment? That you need to be prettier, have a prettier dress, do your hair better, and so on.
I guess I wouldn’t have minded so much if it was natural. The girls doing talent stuff (playing guitar, dancing, whatever) in “normal” garb – the clothes that 6-year-olds wear. But it was the prancing, the batting of eyelids, the kisses to the crowds – that’s what got to me. Oh, and the under 12-month olds? What the heck can a 7-month old do to win a pageant? And at 7 months, I hardly believe that the child is the one who wants it and the one who said, “yeah, let’s DO it!”
Right, the self-esteem thing. Self-esteem is such a buzz word, is such a bugaboo, that no-one wants to tackle it. To raise our children’s self-esteem, we have to tell them they do well even if they don’t. Schools have eliminated competitions for fear of hurting a child’s self esteem. So, how does a beauty pageant help a child’s self-esteem? Maybe it does for the winners who can afford all the extravagant costs associated with winning, but I find it hard to believe that the girls who don’t place, regularly, are building up their self-esteem.
Is this really a way to raise a healthy child? Really?
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I keep want to start this comment with ‘good’ or ‘nice’ or ‘great’ but none of these seems strong enough, or appropriate enough for what you just posted.Just fantastic and mindblowing blog keep it up..!!!
Thanks DIU – this message is very appreciated!
I’m glad you wrote about the health effects of this show. I saw an episode and was horrified by the behavior of the moms who were just pushing their kids to perform and fussing at them for not looking sexy enough or having a big enough smile. Did you see how sad some of them looked when you only looked at their eyes? There was only one little girl that sincerely seemed to like what she was doing in the episode I watched.
First I want to state I have never liked these little pageants, all it is is about who has the most money. I remember a neighbor when I was about 9 years old, she couldn’t be but 6 but she looked as if she were 16 with all that make up on and the sexy clothes. Sure the dresses that they parade them around stage in are beautiful, almost princess-like but it doesn’t stop there. Parents that prance these darling little girl have been probably doing it since birth, sometimes not until they begin walking and the eating is definitely not healthy. Imagine a mom weighing you in all the time to tell you you’ve gained too much weight and need to stop eating, etc. I’ve seen this happen, it is disgusting. How can these parents think this is healthy, it will make them anerexic (sp) or worse. Oh and all the practice they have to do just to get the walk down and their talent. WOw.
On top of all this sickos could be watching these little girls. I haven’t seen this show, but I’ve seen others like it where the mom seemed like some horrible monster, other times where the child thought she was the princess. I would definitely NOT watch this show since it would only promote and encourage this behavior.