Skip to content

Thursday, November 12th, 2009

Healthbolt

The First Person Who Will Live to Be 1000 Is Alive Right Now!

July 26, 2007 by Sara Ost  
Filed under Death, Extreme, Medicine, Science

Seriously, I'm running out of ink.

Methuselah is going to be l-i-v-i-d.

According to the latest immortality research (oh, it is a field), the possibility of a person making it to their first millennium is not only possible – it’s almost guaranteed that such a person is already alive right now. Of course, philosophical debates are raging, but everyone agrees that perhaps something more reasonable – say, five additional years on the old lifespan – would be totally acceptable. But according to Aubrey de Grey, the spokesperson for the anti-aging movement, the moral debates are futile: “Whether they realise it or not, barring accidents and suicide, most people now 40 years or younger can expect to live for centuries.”

This is exciting news, right? Just think of all the wonderful things you can do with an extra 920 years or so! Would you travel everywhere, taste everything, try every job, take one exciting lover after another? How many languages might you learn? How wise and zenny we will all become!

Or…will boredom replace everything as the #1 cause of death? After your 700th trip to the dentist and your 840th “surprise” birthday party and your 3,459th wedding shower and your 75,000th church service, what possible magic could any ritual have to offer us? Will humans start doing even more stupid, selfish things well beyond their youthful years because they know they’ve got centuries to make up for it? Most people already fritter away their lives knowing full well that death is imminent. What will happen when we all start living to be 1,000?

Some predictions for adulthood in a world of millennial lifespans:

Highlander: the reality show version.

In the ongoing effort to foster an ownership society, banks will offer the affordable and convenient 350-year mortgage. The only trouble with this is that you will outlive your house.

No one will be scandalized by the May-December romances of rich geriatric crusties and lissome blond bunnies. The real scandal will be that guy with sixty ex-wives. I mean, thirty, yeah, everyone makes mistakes, but come on, sixty?

Teen girls will finally stop with the incessant BFF slinging because the prospect of the same BFF for, like, centuries is BSC. FR. OMG. RUFKM?!?

Instead of spending 3 years of your life waiting in lines, you have 42 years of waiting to look forward to.

Frying up the perfect omelet for your first breakfast with the new love: big deal. You’ve had what, like 500 years to practice? You’re gonna have to do more than that to impress. Even poaching loses its luster after the first 3 centuries.

Just think of how much fun is in store for you now that your marriage is for cennnnnnnnnnturies instead of decades! Till death do you part. Sweet.

You will perfect the art of housebreaking your puppy. Because you will have had 100 of them.

Fast food: what’s the point?

If you think mothers who dress like their daughters are annoying now, well…

There are only so many ways you can rearrange the living room. Think about it.

Do we really want to live for hundreds of years, or is it that we just wish we could be young our whole lives?

  • Facebook
  • StumbleUpon
  • Digg
  • Mixx
  • Google
  • TwitThis
  • Reddit
  • Yahoo! Buzz
  • Kirtsy
  • E-mail this story to a friend!

Comments

52 Responses to “The First Person Who Will Live to Be 1000 Is Alive Right Now!”
  1. “PARA LA HISTORIA DE LA HUMANIDAD”
    I Congreso Mundial Salud Eterna, para vivir más de 300 años con excelente calidad existencial.
    Caracas, Republica Bolivariana de Venezuela, Julio 26, 27 y 28. 2.010.

    Auspician:
    -Organización Mundial de Medicina Alternativa (OMMA: Perú, Cuba, México, Ecuador, Colombia, EE.UU. Costa Rica, Rusia, Argentina, Suiza..).
    -Cruz Roja de Venezuela: ) Miranda (Presidente, Dr. Américo Márquez Cubillan), Carabobo (Presidente, Dr. Jesús Mendoza Romero).

    TEMARIO PRELIMINAR, MODIFICABLE:
    -Tratamiento y cura de la Enfermedad coronaria sin cirugía ni cateterismo.
    -Control del peso (incluyendo obesidad severa) ejercicios y emociones sin adicciones.
    -Tratamiento no farmacológico de la Hipertensión Arterial.
    -Incremento de la capacidad física ( cualquier edad ) mas de 5 veces en 3 meses.
    -Tratamiento del envejecimiento y la arterioesclerosis que impiden sobrepasar la octava década y afectan a mas del 99% de los mayores de 40 años.
    -Tratamiento del stent coronario para evitar recaídas.
    -Salud Eterna en Enfermedades Críticas.
    -SALUD ETERNA o Estado de Bienestar BIO-SICO-SOCIAL-ESPIRITUAL Y SEXUAL PERMANENTE, para vivir mas de 300 años
    .Conmociones sicológicas: prevención y tratamiento (sin consumo de drogas ni alcohol) con programas de 12 Pasos: NA, AA, N/A y culturizándose con lo imprescindible.
    -Salud Eterna y Ortosexologia.
    -SALUD ETERNA, Método Científico para vivir mas de 300 años, empleando, LA VERDAD VERDADERA CIENTIFICA (de mas del 99% de precisión) con el “MODO DE SUPERVIVENCIA EXTREMA” para activar la CELULA MADRE A U T O G E N A.
    http://www.paravivirmasde3siglos.com
    Sección Noticias.
    Sin discriminaciones políticas, religiosas, económicas..
    1er. Lugar en el mundo, sobre mas de 1.000.000 trabajos afines: Google

    Traducido al: español, ingles, chino, ruso, árabe, francés, japonés…
    Mas de 100 WEB por apoyo Internacional:
    Google: site:paravivirmasde3siglos.com

    -Vivir mas de 300 años, con excelente calidad existencial, en la actualidad. Demostraciones Científicas internacionales de verificación de acuerdo a los siguientes vínculos Google:
    1- Universidad de Cambridge:
    ¿Podremos llegar a vivir 500 años?
    A LA RECHERCHE (Blog de archivo): ¿VIVIREMOS 1000 AÑOS ?, DE …

    2- Universidad del Sur de California:
    http://www.astroseti.org/noticia_1663_podremos_llegar_vivir_mas_400_anos.htm?nobar=1-

    3- King, s College de Londres:
    http://www.proyecto-salud.com.ar/shop/detallenot.asp?notid=3097
    -La Cardiología mas barata y precisa del mundo: Cardiología Computarizada: Diagnostico no invasivo de las cardiopatías congénitas y adquiridas simultaneas, equivalente a casi un millón de paginas con imágenes ultrasónicas: SOLO PARA CARDIOLOGOS ECOCARDIOGRAFISTAS.
    -Competencia de montaña alta: Macuto ( 0 msnm ) ascenso al Humboldt (2.105 msnm.) para seleccionar el “Tercera Edad (mayor de 65 años) mas vigoroso del mundo”.
    -Concierto de Cierre: Clásicos Latinoamericanos: Tenor Abelardo Eslava.

    Presidente del Comité Organizador: Dr. Jesús Eslava, Cardiólogo, Neumunólogo, Titular Medicina Critica, Ecocardiografista, Autor, 5 libros (Salud Eterna I-II-III, Mafia Medica. Una Amenaza Real y Cardiología Computarizada) y con mas de 100 puntos créditos académicos, Salud Publica Internacional por trabajos medico- científicos presentados y publicados en congresos: mundiales, internacionales, continentales, iberoamericanos, suramericanos.. de cardiología, medicina critica, ultrasonografía, longevidad y medicina natural. Creador de la Ecocardiografía con CO2 y la Cirugía por diagnostico ultrasónico, 3er. Lugar (67 años) Maratón Internacional 42 Kilómetros, 2.008.

    Presidente del Comité Científico: Dr. Lorenzo Orlando Rosas Durand: Fundador de OMMA

    INFORMACION-LIBROS en la Republica de Venezuela: M A Ñ A N A S: 9 a 12 , L U N E S A S A B A D O S:
    (0212) 4052085. 4622331. Cel ( 24 Horas ): 0412 -7193518
    INFORMACION-LIBROS para el extranjero de Venezuela: M A Ñ A N A S HORAS DE VENEZUELA: 9 a 12 , L U N E S A
    S A B A D O S: 0058 212 4052085. 4622331. Cel ( 24 Horas ): 00584127193518
    jesuseslavacardiologo@yahoo.es Tlf. Directo 00584168051605.

  2. Bill says:

    Dear Dr. Eslava,

    What’s the Spanish word for CHARLATAN?

Speak Your Mind

Tell us what you're thinking...
and oh, if you want a pic to show with your comment, go get a gravatar!


About Us | Advertise with us | Blog for Blisstree | Privacy Policy | Terms of Use
Get This Theme | Sitemap


All content is Copyright © 2005-2009 b5media. All rights reserved.