How to Get Over a Broken Heart
August 16, 2007 by Sara Ost
Filed under Boys & Girls, How To, Misc., Philosophy, Relationships, Stress
It doesn’t take a genius to ascertain that I keep a smart-ass establishment (drugs and horoscopes much?). But we all know that underneath the big, bad edge, smart-asses are really the most tender nibblins of all. So here’s a little love for everyone who has the courage to live, but most especially a couple of my bruised peeps – you know who you are. For everyone else, don’t worry – we’ll get back to the sardonic escapades in two shakes of Molly McButter.
Broken heart? Rejection? Failure? It hurts (and hurts, and hurts).
Here’s how to properly lick your wounds:
1. Take heart: you will not die.
Even though it really, really feels like it. Even though you can feel your heart physically swelling in your chest and pain pulsing through your entire body and your ribs are sticking to your sides like macaroni on a microwave – you will not die from this. It might mess up your mental and physical health a little in the short term (you’re allowed to eat some carbs, for Pete’s sake). But you will not die. It still hurts, though.
2. At least it’s a good hurt.
Vera Pavlova wrote:
“If there is something to desire,
there will be something to regret.
If there is something to regret,
there will be something to recall.
If there is something to recall,
there was nothing to regret.
If there was nothing to regret,
there was nothing to desire.”
3. Give yourself as much time as you need.
A lot of the angst of moving on comes from self-judgments about when and how and why you should move on and what you did wrong. Don’t compare yourself to others. You’re not nuts; you’re not strange; you’re not obsessed; you’re not a fool. Your big crime is innocence. The only sin you can possibly commit is doubting yourself. You’re just human and you felt something. At the time, whenever that was, it felt right. Accept that your feelings are your feelings and let them be (to paraphrase Marcus Aurelius). Feelings are hard to feel and even harder to understand. They’ll pass when the time is right and not a moment sooner.
4. Things simply are what they are.
And now they are different. They cannot be any other way. Life is a series of moments and all you really have to do in this life is accept them. No one expects anything more; and believe me, no one upstairs does, either. Sometimes those moments turn into chapters, but ultimately even the chapters conclude.
5. Treat yourself right.
Try to get out as much as you can (but don’t force yourself to jump into something new or go out partying every night). Talk to your friends, even if all you can squeak out is “it’s another rough one today”. Don’t worry about annoying them – even if you do, they are the ones who really know you and they will still love you. You can’t fool them anyway – even if you don’t say anything, they know.
6. Exercise.
A daily bout of exercise – walking, running, lifting weights, dancing, the elliptical, yoga – will help your brain both regulate and release your feel-good hormones. A bonded relationship causes your brain to release oxytocin, a powerful “commitment” peptide. When it goes away you can become depressed. So let those other helpful hormones fill in the void. Exercise!
7. Eat a lot of fat.
Beneficial fatty acids in things like olive oil, nuts, avocados and salmon will baby your brain and help keep your mood stable. Eat some at every meal from here on out.
8. Spoil yourself (but not too much).
Buy your favorite beer, enjoy an entire pint of ice cream. But don’t go overboard – you’ll just end up feeling worse. There’s no hard-and-fast rule for when you’re about to cross the line. I think you’ll know your limit if you listen to your instincts. In fact, I believe our instincts will never, ever let us down, if only we would pay them heed. (And remember, if you cross your line, that’s okay. Mistakes are not bad, they are learning, and that is what life is all about, right?)
9. This too shall pass.
I know – I know – it doesn’t feel that way right now, but the pain will pass. Reality bites and life will give your heart a ruthless pruning, but you’ll grow back even fuller. You might miss a season or two – no worries, so did the damaged peach tree I watched my grandmother coax for 10 patient years. The fruit it finally bore was the best slice of sweet imaginable. That memory has always comforted me; find one that comforts you.
10. Now is not the time to begin training for a marathon, overhauling your investments, or perfecting your GTD system.
Initial small accomplishments can give you a bump, but if you’re using them to avoid feeling the hurt, that hurt will just come back with a wallop (I don’t know about you but I’m an expert at this one). Do make positive changes and invest yourself in projects that are both distracting and productive, because these things will help you move on with greater confidence. I’m glad I read my RSS feeds today, because one of my favorite bloggers posted this positive guide to dealing with setbacks. But just remember that as you take positive actions, don’t try to repress those feelings. Feelings always come out eventually.
Although, when they do…that’s good, too. Have a good, long lick and remember: everybody plans picnics in the park. Everybody carries a private hurt (or hundred). Good for you for feeling something and taking a risk. That’s called living and all we can do is our best in each moment. There is no right or wrong; there is no should. There is only real.
You might feel sad and hurt, but guess what?
I think you fucking rock.
I’m just a twentysomethin’ blogger and I don’t have the answers, but I do know that.
Hello,so i want to thank whoever wrote those tips on how to get over a broken heart. I have never told my story of heartbreak cuz i am afraid. but i am dont being scared so here it goes.I am girl who fell in love with a girl. I never been attracted to the opposite sex but it just happened. We kept our love a secret for 2 and a half years. Nobody knew that we were together, no one. She was my first love and i was hers too. I do not understand how we went that long with hiding our love, but we did. We were crazy in love and we broke up about 2 or three months ago. I cant even remember, but the pain I can. The relationship was so unhealthy cuz we kept everything a secret. When i wanted to talk to her about something i couldnt cuz friends were around..we could never show affection like we wanted to, we lied consistenly, it was just bad and turned really unhealthy. She also left me twice but like an idiot i came back to her. What sucks is that i know if we were in a normal relationship, we would probably be so happpy. I mean who does that for that long? I think that kind of love is so rare and we both gave up so much for eachother and went through soo much just to have moments together. My heart is healing, but there are those nights where i am just heartbroken. I still love her with all my heart but she does not appreciate or want me in her life right now. I really don’t want her in mine either because it is just too much pain. But i try to keep myself busy and recently am talking to a guy who just is very sweet. I just cant fully let go, and i want to sooo bad. How do i know when i fully just let go..i am scared. Will i ever get over this?
I fell in love with a girl too, my best friend. and she loved me too or so she said, things didn’t work out wityh us either because she couldnt take that i was a girl. Our secret didn’t really stay secret so it didn’t last long. The last time we were together was january and now i barely see her, i know she sleeps around now though and it breaks my heart all the time. I think the only way to get over it is to cut them off slowly. I wish i knew if i’d ever get over it, but at least you aint alone x
you know what you are?
an absolute star.
boyfriend and best friend of 9 months broke up with me, and told me he no longer loves me or has feelings for me , and has very much ‘moved on’ to other girls about 20 seconds after we broke up.
i have cried a river , been histerical , thrown up and not slept.
but i no longer have the energy for him anymore. yes i will most probably cry again , but from now on..i do not need him.
dats so horrible i hope u feel betta. but i recently broke up wit my bf. well to tell u the truth i cant really consider it to b a bf b cuz we neva saw eachother not once in our lifes we jus look at pix talk on the fone and text but i truly loved him he was like the man i can tell everything to n not have to worry wat he would think of me. but my heart broke wen i called him 1 day n he didnt answer n dis went on for about 2 months everyday and i started to worry n stuff i would call n got nothing till 1 day i got to talk with him n i cried to him n he axed y i sounded sad but i lied n sed dat its tough around here wit my family n he told me to call him bac in bout n hour but after dat wen i called bac he neva picked up n yet im still waiting to hear his voice he was my everything though i went so many months callin him my bf n tellin him i love u n iv cried soo many times like wen he got shot words couldnt describe how i felt b cuz his bro nore sis picked up the fone n his fone was off so there was no conact the only way i found out was b cuz wen i texted him his sis texted bac saying he got shot dat was it but after bout 10 min i was bale to talk to him n find out he was ok but there was still lots of recovering to do then wen he had a athsma attck i cryed till he called n told me hes ok. but he once sed dat it wasnt love he jus had me sprung but till 2 day i still think he was wrong and it is love b cuz wen sum 1 has u sprung it doesnt feel good but hurt at the same time n it most definitly doesnt break ur heart to dis extence. but i dont exaturate wen i say dis n i truly mean dis from the bottom of my heart dat wen i told him i love u for the first time i really ment it.
I totally understand…it hurt so bad, at least I can breathe now, I’ve been reading books & started a journal (advice from the book) helped me out a lot, everytime I want to cry because I remember him leaving & saying he didn’t want a family (never calls for the kids) I cry constantly but it’s getting better…I wonder all the time what he’s doing, who he’s doing, it’s horrible…I wish I could go back but like he said we took a risk, we felt something we got hurt lesson learned…it sucks but I really do think eventually I’ll get over it, I look at my kids & wonder what idiot would ever give them up…
I know what you mean perfectly. Me and mine were together for eight months then he lied to me about why he wanted to break up. Said he couldn’t handle school a job and me. I knew it was crap. I found out from a friend that it was because he ‘no longer felt the same way’. Although today I found out he might have cheated on me. He has a new girl now less then a week after we broke up he started dating her. I’m just glad we didn’t have sex because then I would really feel used. I hope you find the right guy next time and that you’ll never be hurt like this again. I hope you’ll say the same for me.
I feel ur pain I wake up crying I go to sleep crying my bf of seven months played me so dirty . I don’t know how you talk about someone so dirty and stuff and then go back to them I don’t get it I’m lost confused angry . He broke my heart and I don’t know sometimes I can’t eat I don’t feel like it u ever been with someone who is a lier and didn’t show his true colors until the end well meet my ex . Ladies it’s ok to cry it’s ok to not want to eat I feel. Ur pain
I fell in love with a girl. I finally told her, and she told me back… 2 months later she broke up with me because her friends kept telling her we were to young.
We talked bout it and worked things out.
Six months went by… I was so in love with her. We couldn’t kiss, we couldn’t date, but it didn’t matter I hadn’t fallen in love with her because of physical things.
But one day she started ignoring me. Treating me different.
And then i hear from a friend that she sent emails out saying she was breaking up with me.
So i called her to ask about it.
The next thing i know her dad is breaking up 4 her on the phone.
I was finally able to talk to her in person about it and she told me she had just been going along with things ever since the last breakup 6 months earlier.
She told me she was going to meet a lot of “people” going to her new school.
I’ve never been the same person since then. I still love her and i always will. I just hate how much it hurts… To have someone say they love you and then tell you it was a lie is something else. It makes you feel worthless and unwanted. There’s still a part of me that dosn’t believe that she was just going a long with things. All my memories burn me inside. Every moment that i can remember cuts me open. 6 months of memories… lies. 2 1/2 years gone.
Hey there,
O know how you feel I met this awesome girl I promised myself not to fall in love as she was so young, she is an adult and she knows her mind she was keen as on mr and I did fall in love it was 2 weeks but THE best 2 weeks of my life it was intense we had plans to Christmas shop go to gigs and movie nights ,
Her damn father decided she cant see me she is 19 she is an adult goddamn it I can’t believe it happened I am totally gutted it , The whole moral aspect is bullshit, They let her half bro junkie live in the house her father is a drunk and he disapproves of an age difference in a man who is positive influence on her who care for his daughter who would never hurt her who his daughter obviously likes if not more than likes , life is so unfair.My heart is ripped apart because I have done NOTHING wrong and I am been punished for NOTHING other than been in love and caring
I am a 17 year old guy and those of you who say guys don’t cry are liars. I have cried my eyes out over a girl just a couple months ago. She was the 7th rejection in the past 3 years. I know I am not the best guy, but I wish someone would throw me a freaking bone. The only way to really cope with any sort of heartbreak I’d to just letting time take care of it. You can’t force a better feeling if you try. When you look at the girl/guy you really like it all comes rushing back to you, the bad feelings you wish would go away come back involuntarily. It’s mixed feelings of regret, jealousy, envy and every other feeling that makes you want to curl up in a corner. But trust me, as time goes on, you will eventually let go of that person, but you will always have a place where you keep thoughts of them. I have had a lot of tough luck, but it doesn’t mean I am going to give up. I am gonna keep on going, and everyone else should too. It hurts like crap, it feels like the air is getting sucked away from you, that the ground won’t stop shaking, your muscles feel weak and you can’t do anything except cry. But trust me, there are thousands of others, such as myself, that are going through the same heartbreak. Just keep your head up and keep pressing on and you will find that that will make it much easier…everything will be fine…
I can relate to what you are saying. my boyfriend cheated on me and lied to me about it. I had to ask him more then once then he was able to admit it. It was so sad becuase he was my first love and I was his. We have been together since high school and now wer in college almost graduating. I cried every night with disbelief that he betrayed me. We used to talked about our future and how we would raise our family but it was shattered when he lied. It was a very though time for me.I was trying to move on but he was begging me to stay. I couldnt bare to be with him but at the same time I could not let go of him. Every day for us was hell. We’d argue on the phone and brek our peronal belongings. Never have I felt so little and helpless in my entire life. With a heart thats broken, I find life too hard. Just driving down the street and I hear or smell somerthing that brings up a memory of him and I; I have to stop the car and cry for like ten striaght minutes then get back on the road. I dont regret loving with all my heart, I just regret loving him so much for him to betray me.
Im actually do9ing fine now. The pain and wound does gradually passes, but it leaves behind and ugly ugly scar..
but all I do is just try to live on day at a time, and live it the best way possible for myself and I.
hey guys.. i am guy who is hearbroken… i was with this gril from my work place and we started being freinds and talking about our first love… we both had a heart broken from our first love… after a while we became bestfreinds… than we started haveing feelings and go out and we were together… we got in a lot of fights…arguing…and break ups.. but we gave each other many chances… and she hurt me i hurt her, she made me cry i made her cry… but in the end i always cared for her… and i always loved her… like i had this moving on feelings between the break ups but than we used to get back again… but the last break we had was 2 months ago and i didnt contact her and she didnt eatiher and after that two months she wanted to see me cuz she wanted her itouch back that she got it for my birthday… and i was like so happy i thought she wanted to get back and she wanted to see me.. and me being a fool going there so happy and all and she takes the itouch and tells me not to fucking touch her… and that she has no feelings for me its all gone… i didnt tkae her seriously and i was like ok w/e and i we used to just talk on msn and fb and phone… after a week she tells me she is planing on going out with this guy at her workplace… the guy asked her out and with out thinking she said yes… she told me this all over msn and when i heard that… oh man i just freaked out… i just couldnt beliave it… she was like a goody good giel and a very sweet and nice… and all and so inocent… and now she has cahnged so much… she doesnt care anymore.. she doesnt love me anymore… she has moved on and the old her is dead and gone… and i went to her house being a stalker and cryed in front of her and begged her not to go out with anyone and please take me back i am sorry for all the mistakes i have done… but she looks at me and loughs and tells me to stop this and fucking accept it and deal with it… she says she is done with it with me with everything…
when i heard everything and all all those harsh words that she said that i couldnt even expect her saying things like that… it just broke my heart… i went home and cryed for like 3 hours… i am guy.. 19 years old.. i hate myslef for how i feel… feel petatic and low and foolish but i cant help it… the pain is too much to handle.. and its killing me… its hurting more than anything…
i dont how long is this gonna last… i dont know to get over her… i dont know how to deal with her going out with other guys that just ask her out and she says yes right away with out thinking… i dont know what to do… i hate everything at this time of my life… i dont feel like doing anything… i dont feel like going to wrok… i dont feel like hanging out with my freinds.. i dont feel like going home… i just wana dessapear and go some where and cry…cry as much as i can and leav all the pain and hurt feelings there and come back…i dont know how to deal with all this…
i know there are many tips like this for heartbroken people but do they really help? will this pain go away…? will this feelings go away and will i ever smile again and be happy ? will i ever move on…?
right now to me it seem imposable…
why is world like this? why do people change… i am still the same… i still have the same feelings…
sorry guys for my long sad story… just need to let it out and share it with someone…
Oh my god I am crying right now. After reading your story and how you feel I started crying because thats exactly how I feel and look at it. It hurts so bad and you love them so much, but they don’t love you and they tell you that you’re changing and that you’re not the love of there life like they used to think you was. And then I read her letters and it just doesnt make sense. I mean she loved me so much and said how she would never leave me for anyone because I’m the perfect guy for her and she’ll always be there for me and she’ll never hurt me. and now I look and I’m hurt all the time by her and she left me for someone else and doesnt want anything to do with me and doesnt love me anymore. I would type my story, but I just dont want to remind myself of all the good and bad times i had with her and I dont want to get super upset again because I’m still recovering. Just remember though man you are not alone. Good luck I hope you’ll get along ok.
i feel both of your guys pain. im 21 and had been dating this girl since i was 19. still young, but i am old enough to know what is real and what is not. we dated for a little over a year and everything was fine. she was into it more than me at first and then i really started falling for her. i was her first everything so after about a year she started to think about what else was out there. everyone says we arent very alike but when we are together, the rest of the world doesnt exist. we had little break ups but we always came back to each other. we talked about spending our lives together and all. Then at about the 18 month mark she went to Utah for spring break to visit her sister, came back, said she met someone and wanted to move there for the summer. i was devistated. inbetween SB and summer, her and i drifted together again and before she had to leave she said she didnt wanna go, she wanted to stay with me. I had made plans to take some classes in Hawaii so i wouldnt be sitting at home all summer thinking about her, so we both went our seperate way for a few months. during her time there she met a different guy and started dating him and said he was going to move back to michigan to be with her. i couldnt believe it. we both arrived back home within a week of each other and the minute she got home she came to my house and ran and jumped into my arms (still dating this guy). we fell right back into our old selves, started hanging out and she cut off contact w/ Mr. Utah. I was so happy, she finally figured out what she wanted and that was me. i thought. 2 months go by and she tells me it isnt working and now is back with him. i’ve been dealing with this back and forth BS for 9 months now. i have cried myself to sleep more nights than i havent. i STILL am so in love with her and really think she still loves me. its just easier for her to be with him right now cuz im away at school. i graduate this spring tho and will likely be moving back to where her and i both call home. idk if i should move on for good or hope that she realized im the one she loves just like she has always done. it hurts bad. really bad. no motivation to do anything. i wish she knew how i feel, i wish she felt it for once. thought she was the one. maybe it was all a lie. idk
Hey Ali. I know it sucks, but listen. I went out with a girl for 3 years. I even went to the same college as her, because she wanted to “stay together” in college. We grew apart, and went on a break. Eventually, the relationship ended, and I did exactly the same thing you did for 4 months. I stayed in my apartment, sat there, and didn’t want to hang out with anyone, I hated everything about my life. Then, eventually, I stopped caring about her. Here’s the thing. Apathy is one of the biggest things that can help you get over someone. The second everything is all said, done, and over, cut your losses, have a cry, get drunk, and stop caring. If people start talking about your relationship with her, simply say “I’m not talking about that, I don’t care.” Ignore her calls, don’t respond to her, because it only keeps you right there, in the same place you’re in. Again, stop caring. Don’t think about her, and eventually you’ll be fine. Also, live your life! The way you want to. Have fun, and don’t make compromises. Again, live your life, someone will notice, and love you for it. I promise you that.
First of all, THANK YOU for posting this blog!
So, here’s my story… Hopefully writing about it will help. Going through day five now after my girl left. We were together 2 ½ years and started out as great friends who worked together. We never really pursued anything romantically as I was married and committed. But, as distance between my wife and I grew, closeness between her and I increased. I ultimately left my wife. No, not just to be with the one that has since broken my heart but for a gambit of other reasons for another blog. Anyway, my coworker, my friend, turned into my love and we quickly pursued a relationship.
We had our good times and bad times just like every other couple. But then, a VERY noticeable distance came between us. We had always talked through our issues (something my wife and I were horrible at) but this time, it was like an elephant in the room. Turns out, because I wasn’t there and willing/able to listen, she had started talking to someone else. And, just like the heartbreak I caused my ex-wife, she now causes me. I’m living the pain! Damn Karma!!
Is there something wrong with me? Why can’t I express these feelings when it matters?? Why did I take here for granted? Why, Why, WHY???
I am going to share my breakup, hopefully it will help me get through it. Mine is a bit different. I was coming out of an emotionally abusive marriage, met a friend online, we became very close and fell in love. We lived very far apart, but we vid called and messaged daily. We shared struggles,celebrated together, encouraged each other, worked so hard at communicating and found this incredible peace together, something we both craved so much. But the distance between us, circumstances in life proved too much. We started out as friends and fell in love, but he stopped being in love. He saw the challenges, and they were valid and honest, and decided the timing just couldn’t work. He still loved me but he had fallen out of love with me. This person was the most gentle, kind, loving person I have ever known, my heart was healed. The last year has been the best in so many ways even though the divorce sucks and the kids have been through a lot and I went back to school. I never knew love could be like that, never felt so free, so supported, the better I got in life, the happier he was. We were looking to the future and felt hope. But things changed. I am coming up to meet him at christmas, we broke up last night. There was no fighting, no hatred or animosity, just gentleness, honesty, respect, as its always been. We still want to be friends, we still love each other, but it just can’t work. The only problem is that I am still in love. I made a choice to be vulnerable, to not hold anything back and he treated my heart with such care and love, such tenderness. I regret nothing, have no bad memories from our relationship. And now I just want the feelings of being in love to fade so I can enjoy our friendship again without them getting in the way of that. He is so understanding, but this was a first for us both, we don’t really know what to do. Under different circumstances it might have worked. We didn’t do anything to each other that made us break up, tis simply the timing and life not cooperating. So how do I make my heart stop yearning and missing the affection and love? How do I stop wanting what can’t be, knowing love and then having it not be anymore? We never really had a chance, had to make due with long distance love. But it was real, more real then anything I have felt before. I will love again, but will it ever measure up to what we had? I miss him so much, its hard to be in love with someone that no longer is in love with you. Especially when he is such a great person and is your best friend. I want him to be happy, to find love again, he wants the same for me. Right now though my heart aches and all I can think of is another morning without seeing his smile, another night not hearing his loving goodnight. I have been loved and got to love, fully and honestly and it was amazing. I wish it didn’t end.
Oh my your story is so similar to mine .. we were friends, we new each other for 25 yrs we recently got togethere6 mnths ago it is long distance, there was great awesome love we got together twice in the summer and then thngs started to go down hill for us he was a caring loving man i adored and still do him, imiss him terribly we get in these stupid emotional blowups he pulls away o hold back in communicating, i just want to stop feeling so sad, i never felt this way with anyone and at one point he felt the same way … i just had a blow up of emotion yesterday with him ,i sent him an email telling him i have to let go i love him so much and our lives are so busy and it is hard because of distance w said we would take one day at a time it was fine we were meeting again in january, my heart is so broken i am to old i am in my fortys should now better , life sucks some times and is so unfair he use to say this is the girl i should of married 25 years ago we knew we are ment for each other it is so hard …. just want to stop hurting , want life back to normal before he came i was happy with being on my own we were good friends , talked everyday , we still love each other more then i have ever ever felt , i wish i could just make time go back when we were in high school he loved me then i did not no he even liked me some times wishes and dreams dont come true . i will always love him just want to stop hurting and being sad , iwill try the suggestions above thanks for them
I’ve read all the stories on this page and for some weird reason I though I was all alone out there… SO alone. My fiancee and I had the perfect life… we spent alot of time together and we were never able to NOT deal with an issue that came up! She was my up and I was her ground. About 3 months ago we combined our finances to get rid of debt and save to buy a house and go on vacation! Everything was landing in perfect sequence. Then a new guy starts at her work. They talk, and she likes him as a friend. I accept this because why should I be jealous….time comes for me to go to school for my 4th and final year as an apprentice auto service technician and I get a phone call in the first week I am in school. She tells me she slept with him and it didnt feel wrong to her. She dumps me over the phone and tells me she never really was in love with me…. and this is after 3 1/2 years of being together…. I am still in school now for another 5 weeks….the sad part is…I have noone here to help!
its good to know im not the only one who feels the way i do right now. broke up with someone ive been with for over a year. i know, not that long. but i realize maybe i wasnt in love with her but afraid of going back to the way my life was without her… it still hurts but its true time will heal this… and this too shall pass.
This is my story…
I was dating a day for 2 years and we got engaged..
I thought I found the man of my dreams – I met 2 days before he was going back home and a month later he moved back to where I was staying to be with me.. I was over the moon – finally my search ended…
Then in June we decided that we will go and live in his home country but due to my work I could only go beginning of next year. So in July he went without me so that he could start building a home for us and when I got there we would get married and start our life together.. It was an exciting time because we were our plans and dreams were coming into reality – I knew I would miss him but we were going to see each constantly through out our time apart by me going there to visit him and for his sisters wedding in December and him coming here for Christmas and New Years and my Birthday…
While we were apart we were constantly on the phone and things seemed to be all in place.. I decided to visit him in August for a few days so the apart time wouldn’t be too long.. See him in August then in December for his sister’s wedding and then the beginning of next when I would move there and we would get married…
2 days before I was meant to go visit him we spoke in the morning and all was good we were super excited then that very after he phoned me in a drunken state and broke up with me – stating that he was never meant to be in a relationship and that he never wanted to marry me he only ask me to marry him to make me happy.. He also said that he will never be in a relationship again…. I asked if there is another girl and he said no but that he was interested in other girls and couldn’t promise to be faithful to me… OH MY WORD!!! my heart is beating at 50 million beats as I write this….
After this he hung up on me and tried to hold of him a few times that evening but he didn’t answer and eventually switched off the phone… A few weeks later I found out that he wanted to send me an sms to break up with me… Damn – am I worth so little that he could do that and be fine with it??? I treated him like gold… The past 2 1/2 months have been a nightmare and I have been so close to ending my life but can never do it… I am constantly depressed, sad, hurt, heartbroken and feeling worthless… To top it all off I found out a week ago that he met a girl while he was living with me and when he went back home they got together while we were still together and now he is a relationship with her – remember be said he would never be in another relationship!!! What do I do??? I am on super strong ant-depressants but they don’t seem to help because everyday I cry myself to sleep that only usually last 2 – 3 hours… I go out with my friends as much as I can and still go home feeling useless and worth nothing…
Hopefully one day the sun will start shining again…. I imagine him coming back to me but if did would I want him back for him to hurt me like this again… The pain is super bad like millions of knives constantly going in and out of your heart
He’s nothing but dirt…get over him and start and and just remember your all that and more
wow.. first of all… ending your life/wanting to end your life over a guy is completely stupid! i know how u feel because i have beeen through a rough breakup a few months ago, but look at it this way: if hes not willing to waste his time, energy and tears on YOU, then why should YOU do that for him?!?!! heartbreak is probably one of the worst pains in the world, yet rememeber this “a guy worth your tears will NEVER make you cry” .. i have been thru harsh breakups before but as time went by, my hurt went away and honestly i met this truly amazing guy and we dated for 10 months and we ended a few months ago and yes im sad as hell, but there are so many guys out there that are good and committed and that really comforts me. i hope i helped and just rememeber you are not alone we’ve all been thru it, and if not, their turn will come:)
hey, reading this website gave me some comfort to no their was alot of people in the same pain i am, iv bin with my boyfriend for almost 2years now and to be honest i was way to young to settle down and still am now i met him when i was 15 and im now nearly 17, ino everyone says “aww you cant fall in love that young” but i say bolox to that i no im in love becuase i pysicaly feel like i cant live without him and when we broke up only a week ago i havent left my house since i find my self stayin in and watching romantic films over and over again, my eating habbits have gone of the scales and iv put on 5pounds already everything i do reminds me of him and sumdays i feel so low i wish i jus wouldnt wake up… my friends and family are worried about me becuase im slowley sinking into a deep depression and i cant snap out of it,but the thing that makes things worse is i no im not the one in the ronge my x is hes the one who treated me bad hes the one who didnt appreciate what i have to offer which is such a shame becuase he never used to be like it, he was perfect for me shy, kind, loving, and most important he was different to everyone else i new, unique you could say and i fell head over heals inlove with him and stil am now, but as time went past he changed he made new friends that twisted him turned him into the arragant vain cocky selfish monster who i hardly recognise anymore… he really doesnt understand how much hes hurt me and i cant handle anymore of his lie’s and decetfulness but i still cant help the fact i love him and i still cant seem to find it in me to resist !!! hes treated me like a door mat for almost 8months now and during that hes apparntly cheated 11times when i sit here and think of it i cant even believe i put my self through it all 11 girls thats terrible i was basically askin for the heartbreak but evan as i remember every single last things hes said or done to hurt me id still go back to him if he asked and thats what im scared of most, i just wanna live my life and enjoy being young but i cant my heart feels like its slowly stoping and i find my self gaggin for air when i think about it for to long the pain is herendus and i dont feel like the same person anymore and having to see him everywere i go doesnt help the matter, i feel like giving up completley and just staying in my room till im over it but ino that wont help me. i need some advice i jus wanna be a happy teenager again i have my hole life ahead of me but this one boy this one relationship is stopin me from even getin out of bed. please help x
My Stefan
He had a crooked smile
that revealed everything
he had an exquisite kiss
that sent me reeling
it was like an explosion
when we came together
but he held back from me
to hurt me
all he could do
was hurt me
so all I could do
was leave.
so i was friends with this girl. i liked her and she liked me but i had a crazy suicidal ex i had to deal with. i stopped talking to the girl i liked because i didnt see a relationship possible with all the drama in my life.
Wow this website has shown me a few things. Strange how you can take solace in other peoples’ misery … guess it’s nice to know you’re not alone. This sucks. So i’m with her for a year, ended? 3 weeks ago. She was in college in my home town, she’s from 400 miles away, and all went well, yeah we argued from time to time, she was so insecure but the most beautiful girl in the world, how does that work, but she loved me so much. I grew complacent maybe, and even started to push away a little because I felt a little stifled by the constant need for reassurances. She was so jealous but I don’t know why. I’ve always felt i need to travel, and told her so, she took that to mean I was planning to leave her. and basically she wanted to get married and I didn’t feel ready. Didn’t know what I had I guess. (I’m 33 she’s 28)
Anyway 3 months ago we had a blazing row I said it’s over, she walked out of her job and moved back home 2 days later.
We made up within a week, she’s been up here and I’ve been down there since, but her insecurities have multiplied since the distance was factored in. Ringing me 18 times a night sometimes, accusing me of being unfaithful, which I never have. I tried to reassure her, but at the same time started growing tired..stopped seeing her as my beautiful girl started to feel resentment towards her..instead of just reassuring her. She became a figure I tried to hide from, because I felt hard done by. (now I’m thinking god Tom you’re so selfish and egotistic)
3 weeks ago after one really big row when I’d been out one night, and she’d accused me of some big things, I told her it’s over, can’t handle the distance, this constant accusing, this STRIFE basically. She was heartbroken to the point I can’t bear the suffering I caused. can’t sleep for it. this was Fri, come Sun I texted her did we do the right thing. She said yes, quoting all my reasons. We’re living seperate lives. She felt relieved that I was out of her life, and she’s happier now..that’s what hurts the most. She said I never show my feelings anyway, she’s sick of waiting. So I tell her I’ll move down there tomorrow, she says she’s confused, give her a few weeks. 2 weeks pass, hardest ever, i text her just to say I miss you like crazy, no pressure, how are you? she said sorry Tom. I sent all her stuff down with a letter, that letter was so sincere, no pressure but just that you are the one, (like she said I was to her) she texted saying thanks, sorry it has to be like this, x. (why the x!)
That was Thurs it’s now Sun. No contact. I’m literally winded and have been since that time 3 weeks ago. Can’t sleep, off work for a week. like a zombie.Drinking too much but that’s stopping now. Has to. Makes you worse.
Right that’s the ramble over. Basically the point is if there are any guys reading this then don’t always think there’s someone better out there. that’s what i did when the going gets tough. I didn’t think. Thought I can find someone else who won’t give me grief but in reality .. I caused it myself.Look at what you’ve got. Nobody’s perfect. It’s soooo true, you don’t know what you’ve got til it’s gone. Hard when you’ve been used to talking to someone 3 times a day. She said she loves me but it’s not enough to make it work. When I said I loved her she said she’s been waiting a year to hear that. why was i so emotionally retarded I never said?
Some people say forget her, some say if you really love her then drive down there and get her. Don’t know what to do. Some say no contact, others say if she’s the one you want … go get her. Don’t want to push her away though. 3 weeks ago she loved me – that can’t change so quick can it..? please no..what do I do? Give her time to miss me? ( we were so good together and she said that herself 2wks ago) or just lay it on the line and try get her back? don’t want to make her defensive but there’s conflicting advice. All I want is her. She is my babe and always will be, but I guess if she says she’s happier then I have to respect that. or is she just saying it. If you love somebody you have to let them go .. easier said than done! Any advice/thoughts would be much appreciated. Thank you. Tom
Go and get her! A girl needs a man to fight for her so go and do it! Trust me!
Wow Tom, that is a mess… So I’m no psychologist but here’s what I think, for whatever it’s worth… You say she is insecure, jealous and insecure. Are these qualities you can live with? Truly live with? Or you say you can just to get back together and go through this entire situation AGAIN and it will more painful. Maybe you should give her time to improve herself, and you to improve yourself… give time time. It will help you figure out how and why you really feel what you are feeling. After my breakup I thought there would be no one else that could make me feel the way my ex made me feel, then I met Joe. After the other guys that I dated he was the only one that made me feel the passion (Rrrrrrrrrrrr) that I did with my ex… but Joe was all wrong for me. Deciding to end our relaionship was no big deal for him but left/leaves me miserable. I hang on to the hope that passion and true love is still out there. Also, I think guys should keep the faith that there are still lots of quality girls out there, I’m one of them, at least I think so. I hope in some small way these rambling thoughts have helped or at least kept you occupied for 5 minutes. Fight the good fight bro!
Hi Sofia, thanks so much for taking the time to write. Could I live with the jealousy etc?Probably not, but I’m still in that stage of ‘if only I had done this or that’ then she wouldn’t have felt insecure or jealous etc. But we can’t change the past unfortunately, wouldn’t that be the best ever super-power! We’re supposed to live and learn but don’t know what I’ve learnt from this so far! I think you’re right, maybe we both need time to grow, and I guess I hold on to the fact that if it’s meant to be it will..As to whether there is still love and passion out there, of course there is! Ten days ago when I wrote my last post I was much worse than now, and didn’t believe that, but I think it must be true, what’s meant for you won’t pass you by..I wish I was as proactive as Michelle suggested but I think the time for that has gone now unfortunately. All the best, thanks for your thoughts, and of course there are good guys out there, you just got to find them!
You sound much better Tom! I’m feeling better too, giving time time is the hardest but really the only thing we can do to get through our lowest points. Thanks for your reply, i find this blog site incredibly helpful, we each have our own heartaches but they have the commonality of all being rooted from love. And thanks for the hope that there are good guys out there, now…. how do i find them???!!!
It’s helped me loads! ha yeah, good question, where are they all??? I had deleted my ex from facebook to resist the urge to constantly check, then my mate texted me on Fri to say she is now ‘in a relationship’ …. that was one of our arguing points, i don’t have a relationship status and never have had, and din’t change it when she asked (silly me) haven’t even got my birthday, it’s nobody’s business in my opinion! insecurity … the root of all evil so it seems. I now have a dull acceptance of it. not nice. I heard something the other day, or read it – “One day someone will walk into your life who will make you realise why it never worked out with anyone else” – I like that a lot. Roll on that day! Personally, I have found making plans helps – just booked some time away in Barcelona for new year – little things – gives you a focus, something to look forward to! Take that little saying on board and do something different!
The best advice anyone can give is follow your heart. I went through a break up a few months back. I was going crazy like literally out of my mind. I followed my heart eventhough he had moved on. But atleast I can truly tell myself when I start to cry or doubt that I did my best. For him it was never good enough but for someone else out there it will be. Follow your heart but when the heart and the mind don’t agree then you should balance it out. Love is like strategy. Sometimes your strategy works and sometimes it doesn’t.
Good advice, thank you. I thought I was getting through this then today and yesterday it’s just like I’m back to square one, whilst she’s most probably with someone else by now. She’s so so beautiful, everyone says so, and she works in a bar, so always has hordes of men hanging around trying to chat her up. Follow my heart … I don’t know if I could take the knock back which I’m sure I would get. That really would be it then, but like you say at least then you know. And I would know I had tried my best. But the prospect of going back to how I was 3 wks ago is equally terrifying. The hurt became a dull acceptance a few days ago and I thought I was on the mend but now I can’t concentrate on anything else. I keep thinking, maybe her friends have told her, give it a month, no less before you contact him, so I’m continually hoping for a text or something, and always disappointed when it’s not her. Who am I kidding…??? I had the best thing, and I let it slip through my fingers. I didn’t give her the attention that she needed. It’s so hard to think that there will ever be anyone else. People say oh you can get anyone you want, but I can’t even imagine looking. Don’t want them! Thanks for your advice Jamie, I hope you’re doing ok, it’s sometimes esaier to give advice, but tell yourself what you told me, there will be someone out there who will be the right one.
If after a week I haven’t heard anything I will follow my heart and most prob make a fool of myself but hey … at least I’ll always know I tried. And so will she.
Tom,
Am dying to know…did you go get her?!
It is so reassuring (gives me hope!) that you learned so much about yourself and were willing to try!
I hope you got your happy ending.
MaggieMay
Hi Maggie, no …. I wish I had done. I gave myself a time to wait until, but then heard from a mutual friend that she is now ‘in a relationship’ … well, so her facebook status says.
So I guess I left it too late.
But yes I have learnt a lot about myself, I wish I could show her that too, but it’s maybe not meant to be. It’s strange how one’s perspective changes with the passing of time, you get a different viewpoint, which is still changing daily.
Maybe she isn’t the girl I thought she was, there is a tendency to put them on a pedestal straight after a break up.
I’m still on the mend, but I can see light at the end of the tunnel, and eventually I hope I will get my happy ending, the same as everyone will, even though they may not be able to see that right now.
ive read ur exchange with sophia, and im glad to hear u are better. kinda seemed like u just wanted what u couldnt have. when she wanted you, u werent really feeling it, but as soon as she said she had moved on you wanted her back. that is a classic habit. i did that with multiple girls. honestly, i think thats why break ups are so hard. cuz now that u cant have it, you want it even more than u did when u were together. one thing i have learned is that u just simply never know what is going to happen. maybe tomorrow the girl of your dreams walks into ur life and like u said in that quote, it’ll show u why it never worked with anyone else. or maybe a year from now your ex comes back and u both appreciate each other more. just give it TIME. God has a plan and it can be very hard to wait but keep ur heart open and the right person will find their way in. best of luck. honestly
That’s the best post, you’re completely right! Don’t know what you’ve got til it’s gone, and you always want what you cannot have. Love/lust/desire whatever you call it is so complicated! As my mum keeps saying, it’s just a case of male pride, you want her cos you can’t have her … I think it’s more than that, but there may be an element of it in there. You’re a wise person, thanks for your advice, I will give it time and see what happens.
Hey Tom
I think every relationship we have teaches us something about ourselves in preparation for the next one – and if you learn nothing else it will be worth it. I was heartbroken in the last 10mths since my guy decided he didn’t want the whole commitment thing….which would have been fine if I hadn’t moved my job, sold my house and left my family and friends and bought a home with him in another part of the country! (Near his workplace) Now I’ve moved out but I am kinda stuck in a city I don’t know for the forseeable future. Anyhoo (am I bovver’ed??!!), I’m told I’m not hideous on the eye, I have a personality, a positive ‘fun loving attitude’ and apparently ‘I’ll be snapped up quickly’…….and yet I find it hard to think of anyone else but him! (And to date limited ’snapping up’ has occured !)
I hope what you say is true that someone will come along and we will know instantly why the others didn’t work. (paraphrasing!)
I keep thinking, wouldn’t it be just lovely to have 10years of happiness with the person thats meant for you rather than a lifetime of bloody misery just coz our age says we’re supposed to be on a certain part of the cycle!
I am sure we will get our Happy Endings and in the meatime its actually quite nice to do our own thing.
for girls love is just a game all they do is steal ur heart play with it as much as the can and when time comes the just let u go lik they never carried about u. why is it always u trust a girl and at the end the just let u go. i broke up with my gf last night cant sleep she is just in my mind since last i saw her. but i know right now she is with her friends having fun but how can they do that after two years. TRUST ME FOR THEM LOVE IS JUST A GAME THEY PLAY.i wish i could get over her asap cuz its killing me i cant work cant go to skool cuz everwhere i go it remindds me of her. PLEASE PLEASE dont fall in love have fun as much as u can while ur younger cuz life is too too short. thanks for reading this i maybe dont make since but thats wats in my mind to write……..
I felll in love with this guy. He made me feel so special and needed and just so many things that nobody’s eveer made me feel before. In the end he randomly stopped talking to me. He didn’t even tell me why. I feel so pathetic because he’s happy and has a new girlfriend who’s gorgeous and I’m still crying over him.
Omg Tanya…same exact thing happened to me…I’m so sorry…it hurts, but that just means he wasn’t meant to be…there is someone 100x better out there just waiting to love us unconditionally…
You never truly get over someone until someone better comes along…
I have faith…
xo
well i am also a girl wit a broke heart me nd my first love started dating in the summer but he lives far from me so when he lefted home things went good for about a month. And den things just started to change i started to feel like he didnt love me anymore so one day i get a message from one of his close friends tellin me he is cheating on me wit a girl from skool after that i questioned him he wouldnt tell me the truth nd den finally he admited to me that yeah he cheated on me…i cnt explain wht i feel it jus hurts so much nd i miss him so much like i feel as if there is a piece of me missing nd i jus dont kno wht to do
Wow some of the stuff u all go through is so sad I cant say I have been through the same stuff but I am like in a horrible mood so over the past I don’t know month since Halloween 09 I met this kid and well we were kissing etc…..didn’t do the nasty or anything but well than we didn’t talk for like a week or something he has my jacket and I had his belt than we started hanging out alot like all of one weekend than twice in a week and when we were talking in an IM one day I told him that I had to stop liking him because there was no point and than he was like “Fine good thing I didn’t tell u that I like you” and that made me so happy and than we were still hanging out and I heard from friends of his and my friends that he was a player and blah blah blah and that he was just going to use me so I asked him he was like no I do not F*** over girls and so I guess I believed him but his best friend yesturday explained to me that he likes me just not affectionetly which I was like so he just wants in my pants and I really really like this kid and I just balled my eyes out when he left my house it has been the worst night of my life and I just want to give up and die this kid means so much to me I even have his sweater on right now and I don’t know what to do I want him to be mine
I so get what you feel. It sucks when guys mess with your mind, like saying they like you and wanna be your friend but then try and get in your pants when they feel you might let them. Right now I’m dealing with what you’re going thruough, wanting someone who is a player but there is this unexplainable attraction and you wish they could see all the wonderful you there is available if only he would “ask” properly. They will NEVER change. If they really liked us they would have acted differently or changed from the beginning before getting involved, that’s what I’ve learned. Yes, I’m still brought to tears throughout the day but it’s less and less and like this blog said “you will not die” sometimes we think it may be better if we did but no, we must continue fighting the good fight. Stay strong sista!!!
-Sofia
I’m 43yrs. old and feel like 16 all over again. My heart was ripped completely out of my chest today. Realize most of people that commented are young but it also happens with older people like myself. Just moved to a new state and started chatting, meet this really nice guy and we actually had some romantic moments together. After my walk at the park I decided to check on him since I was on his side of town. Another car was in his driveway and he was so rude to me. You know I didn’t shed one tear but my blood pressure went sky high and I could feel my heart breaking inside of me. I miss him already and granted it was just a few weeks we were together but he gave me that caring look. So hold your head high no matter what the cost. I have decided turning this pain into something positive. Jogging at the park to lose my weight. Maybe I can inspire some of you to turn all this pain and regret, into something creative. Best of luck to you all.
I’ve been looking at lists like this for about a week now, but only this one has really spoken to me.
When my ex first told me he was interested, I’d just gotten out of a relationship, and I couldn’t handle anything new. We became even closer friends, and we talked constantly, and I started to develop feelings for him. I felt like he deeply cared for me; I could share everything with him, and connected with him.
After a while, though, I wasn’t as interested anymore, and I told him how I felt. He said he was fine with that and he still wanted to be good friends. We still talked a lot, but after a while I felt bad for leading him on when I couldn’t give him a relationship, so I stopped replying to his messages.
One night when I was feeling extremely vulnerable, I called him and he comforted me the best he could, and he told me that he had been in love with me, and he was still in love with me. It was then I realized I felt the same way.
It was long distance, so we just talked for a while, but when I saw him after so long, I knew that my feelings were real.
We had a wonderful relationship, at the beginning. Both of us were very happy with what was happening, and we were in love. But the only places we could spend time together were in public, and I was worried about people seeing us, so I tended to get a little paranoid at times. He continued to tell me though, that he loved me and he loved being there for me.
A month later we weren’t seeing each other regularly anymore, and our conversations were further and further apart. I knew something was wrong, but I gave him time.
He broke up with me over text- on our one month anniversary. He told me he still loved me, but he couldn’t deal with a relationship in his life at the moment. I was upset, but I could deal with this.
However, within a day of breaking up with me, he told many people how he dumped me, and my friends overheard him talking with a girl who doesn’t like me, telling her how I had so many things wrong with me. I was crushed.
My friends confronted him about it, and he denied anything being said, but I know it happened, it’s my gut feeling.
He spent 4 months trying to get me, and once he had me didn’t want me anymore, that’s the way I look at it.
For now I’m just trying to be strong and use these tips to move on and find someone who’ll actually care about me.
I had emailed myself this link AGES ago while dealing with my first real heartbreak. I found it again today after keyword-searching through my Inbox- a perfect find, because these words are all perfectly relevant to me, once again.
“Sometimes those moments turn into chapters, but ultimately even the chapters conclude.”
This is a true story. A sad story! But a true story, nonetheless.
{hugs}
Two days ago my first real love and I broke up. I still love him and he still loves me but in the end you have to stay true to yourself and learn to let go. Right now I feel like I have lost the one boy I will ever love so deeply, like my heart is cracking and that all I want is for him to look at me the same and hold me in his arms. But I know this will pass and I will move on. I have to remind myself that no matter how young or old you are life is big and full and beautiful. It has an endless amount of opportunity and letting go is the first step to healing.
Yeah sup guys. My name is Austin. I’m a 21 year old guy. Me and my girlfriend broke up. The break was really bad. I wasn’t the best guy like I should have been. My immaturity and failure to understand the feelings of a women really got the best of me.For all you guys out there reading this… Don’t take your girl for granted. It is a problem we all have when we get comfortable. Thats what I did. I took her for granted, started picking fights for no reason just to see if she cared. I was being insecure and all that. This is my 4th day now. It is so damn hard. All I can suggest is hang out with your friends. Figure out who you are. Re-connect with the inner you. Pick up a guitar. Hell get a tattoo ( if you are in the right mindset ). I suggest talking to someone, preferably a friend, and have them tell you the reality of your current situation. Right now you cant think of should ofs, could ofs, and would ofs. Dont torture yourself. Working on a new and more self appealing you. If it was meant to be, your mate will come back. If They dont, it was never meant to be…. Sad but so fucking painfully true… Good luck people.
I just came across this site after searching “how to get over a broken heart”. Your words are a God send, especially these:
Good for you for feeling something and taking a risk. That’s called living and all we can do is our best in each moment. There is no right or wrong; there is no should. There is only real.
I keep beating myself up for taking a chance with the guy. I knew well that hurt was 98% possibility but I took the leap anyways… sigh… I guess the pain is evidence that I am alive and the tears that stream down my face are part of the healing.
Thank you, thank you, thank you….
I’d like/need to ask this: does true love really exist? I used to think so but now I’m not so sure… if anyone can lend some inspiring words I would welcome them.
To better days! Cheers!!
sofia
Im heartbroken. I don’t even know what to do. I want to die. I have a year and a half year old son so Im trying to keep myself together for him as much as I can. I am listening to need you now by lady antebullum and crying my eyes out. I just got done burning the photo album of me and the love of my life, and am now going through memory card on camera and just finished deleting the last picture of us/him that I have. Am I crazy? Jessica why can’t you just keep it together! I keep telling myself your better off, but that doesnt work either! I thought maybe if i can get rid of anything that reminds me of him then it won’t hurt so much. I’m desperate to get rid of this feeling. I don’t even know what it is that im feeling. Id rather be punched in the face a million times than feel this way. I keep praying for something to take this pain away. Im trying to be strong..i need to be strong. Somethings got to give. I can’t even pump gas without wanting to cry. What is wrong with me??
Hi Jessica, this might not help but you need to feel this. You need to feel the pain and the hurt. It’s part of a process, which will make no sense until you look back. It’s a living nightmare , I know, I’m maybe three weeks ahead of you and it’s still a nighmare but you do get perspectives with time. You just have to take one day at a time. Don’t think about tomorrow think about now. You’re not crazy. This is the burden of being a living breathing loving human, a normal person. I feel your pain! It’s awful what we have to go through at times. All you got to do is ride it, by that I mean you have to acknowledge it and (try) to accept it, and trust and believe and have faith that it will lessen. Each and every day. It will get better. Promise! Stay strong, for your son, and you yourself will also get better. It’s early days, give yourself some time. And it will all improve.
Jessica, its ok to feel this way at this point. Its all fresh and new. As time goes on ssslllooowwwlllyyy u will begin to feel better maybe notto day and maybe not tomorrow but eventually. What u really must do is hold ur son and and love him. u have to look in his eyes everyday and know that u have to get through this b/c he needs u. I know that sounds like hard at this point but if u dont u will go into a depression and u cant’ trust im a mother of 2 and pregnant. i have ad my heart broken once before and it almost killed me. if u have to take ur son to his dad ur parents someone so ucan take a moment to ur self and deal with this u only get one day though. grab a pillow put it over ur face and scream cry yell wat ever just let it all out. it works trust me ive been exactlly were u are. just exhust all that energy then go take a relaxin bath with bubbles candles and music (nothing sad though something soothing). it takes time and it will get better i promise. just keep on trying to power through it u’ll be ok just make u and uur son ur main focus and live that way when its right ull know it and u’ll learn from the experience.
I know how you feel my son is the same age as urs. Im so heartbroken and i know i have to be strong for him BUT IT HURTS SO MUCH! My ex was so go to my baby that i feel like i wont find anyone else for my baby. I cant stop crying and i keep asking myself why he would leave me? But he did now i dont know how to function without him. Just know you are not alone.
I was with him for 4 years our love was the type you read in story books it was perfect,hes the type of guy you read about and wish he existed.To me he was real he did little things that showed me he loved me he always put me before himself, he wanted to share his whole life with me. then a couple of months ago he tells me he thinks were not in love anymore.In anger I told him I didnt want to be with him anymore, but the same night I called him and begged him to come back to me. He refused, he said that I would never find anyone better. Sadly he was right. Strangley it was the first few months that felt ok like I could survive this, I looked my best I went out with friends all the time I felt like living single isnt so bad. Then I heard he met someone. Were both from the same country and culture so news spreads fast in our community. When I heard this my heart sank, I never felt like I was going to die until that day came. I called him to meet with me and he did I cryed and pleaded and begged with all my heart all he said was sorry that he found someone else. He told me that it didnt take long for him to get over me. That when we broke up I was a different girl then the girl he fell in love with, I think thats what broke my heart the most is when he told me that I was a different person. I couldnt sleep or eat. I still did everything right, I had a job, I went to school, I put on a fake front for my family and friends. Then a month later he texted me when he was drunk about something stupid then we got into the subject of sex, and I told him that we should be friends with benefits. It was a stupid stupid idea. Now for me instead of suppressing all of the feelings that I had it just made me love him even more. I know that he doesnt love me anymore just by the way he looks at me. I dont know what to do anymore, I thought maybe I could win him over but hes going to Chicago with his brother most likely to meet a girl. I know theres nothing I can do about it. Ive met other guys but they feel like compromises after him.I love him and I cant stop.
I know exactly what you mean. I was in a relationship for 4 years. I ended it before my graduation because I felt that I could do better. I kept in contact with my ex for a while. I justed couldn’t help but make him realize what he’d lost. Little did I know he already had. For 4 years I waited for him to become the man I needed and after I ended it then he changes. I love that man with all of me. When I heard there was a girl in pursuit of him I thought nothing of it. Things began to get heated between us and we were back to our old selves. He wanted to be with me and silly me told him we weren’t right for each other. Then the following week after we make love he is telling me that he is in a relationship. That killed me inside. I couldn’t believe he’d use me the way he did and the things he said to me hurt all the more. What he did showed me that once a relationship is over, let it be over. I begged and he hated me for it. He literally belittled me for this other woman who he’d just met. My advice to you is just be strong and tell yourself everyday that your worth it and that you were his lost. You have to love yourself more than any man or anyone. You have to tell yourself you are “the shit” and ain’t nobody better than you. Smile honey because you are beautiful. If you need to talk to anyone that truly understands you can add me…presidentialchick@live.com…men are exactly what they are…men…you can’t expect 100% from the weaker sex…:)
If what you say is true then why did the same thing happen to me? I am a man and my heart got played!!! It’s not about “guys are guys” it’s just a matter of “shit” happens! It sucks I know! I’ve been trying for 3 weeks now to get over my fiancée falling in love with another guy! She tells me to move on but how will I ever trust another girl???
You just do.
You push what she did out of you. And keep living and keep loving. Not all girls cheat. I know. I am one and I wouldn’t and haven’t. I love my guy with all my heart and soul and I didn’t punish him for what my ex did to me. I let him start with a blank, clean slate and gave him a chance. My ex cheated on me and even talked to another girl from the hospital as I was in labor with our daughter, but I didn’t hold it against the new person I was with.
My guy now has never, ever given me a chance. He’s never trusted me because it was done to him by his ex and it hurts me every time he accuses me of cheating.
Please don’t ever cheat on anyone or accuse them blindly because of this experience.
I’m really, really sorry that she did that to you and I only charma comes her way and she in turn one day feels like she’s making you feel now.
Good luck Mederic. Try and stay strong.
Right now I’m hurting so much and I don’t know how to make it go away. Seven years ago I fell in love with a wonderful guy. The time we spent together was short but nothing like anything either of us had felt before. For reasons beyond both of our control we unexpectedly seperated and lost contact. It hurt so bad. A couple years later I met a girl who very quickly became my closest friend. One night she invited me over to hang out and meet the new guy she was quickly falling for. When I walked in there he was,just sitting there,and all of the emotions came back just as strong as before. But I said nothing. Why you ask? My friend looked so happy and everyone knows the rule about daiting you friends ex she wouldn’t have continued with him if she knew. And I told myself we were the past, I wanted her to be happy. Later that night he asked me if I was ok and wanted to know why I’d acted like I didn’t know him. I told him the same thing and he said he wouldn’t say anything if that’s what I wanted, but he missed me and had tried to find me for a long time after he was able to get back in town. For the past 5 years I have kept all my feelings inside and dated others but the fillings have never been close to the way it was with him. About 6 months ago after a night out with all of us, I went back to what is now their place and in the middle of a conversation, that had nothing to do with us, or our past (we never talked about that time we shared. I thought it would be easier that way) he told me he was still in love with me and has always been and in my weekest moment I started to cry and told him I was still in love with him as well. About 30 seconds went by before I realized what we were saying and told him we couldn’t go there. But now every time I think of him or see him that’s all I can think about. I love my friend, I wont do anything to hurt her. How do I get over this? How do I get over the one person that in my heart I truly beleive is my one true love?
Thank you to who wrote this. It just lets me know Im not alone, and not crazy other people have felt the same. I just cant get him out of my head, I miss the togetherness. I just feel so alone. I have seen hem around and hes my friend on myspace, I dont know, is that a bad idea???? Should I delete hem out of my life forever??? He just seems so happy and together, it just makes me so mad…. What do I do????
I just wanna say thank you soo much to whoever wrote this!!!! It has helped me more than I can ever say, and as I am only 12, most people say tht im just making it all up n tht im just being silly, but this is great! I love it and I have told my best friends and my cousin all about it and I’m just guna move on cuz i know lifes 2 short 2 worry =P Thanks sooo much!!!!
Love evry1
Abbiee =P
This helped so much. I have never felt hurt like this before, but this gave me some comfort in knowing that what I am feeling is ok, normal, and I’ll get over it … eventually. I usually am on the flip side of the scale and am used to giving advice to other people. I’ve learned the last little while that it is hard to take the advice that I’ve been giving out!
i was with a guy for three years… and supported him not only emotionaly but financially..the last year and half of our relationship he moved to colorado to live with some friends until he could get established and then i was gonna follow and we were going to start our lives together.. he was getting into alot of trouble dui’s possesion of drugs and being put in jail and of course i was bailing him out i paid for his rent his bills etc we got a apartment that i was paying for and was suppose to move there in july well june 28th he was arrested and during the time he was in jail i found out he was seeing another girl for the last 4months of the relationship and she was living in the apartment i was paying for…this is just a brief summary of all that went on… but im devistated..when i bailed him out of jail again he tells me he wants to be with her and to get out of his life…i just dont understand why this happend.i’ve been soo miserable and devistated for the last couple months trying to understand why..reading this blog though does help put some things together for me and im glad i came across it.. just hoping this healing process will progress :0(
I broke up with him today. We have been togetehr for 2 years. He told his parents, and they told him if he married outside his caste, they would consider him dead, and all contacts between him and their family would be severed. We brokme up 2 hours ago
When will this pain end? Will it ever? What did we do wrong? How is caste our fault? He is crying. So am I. How will I ever be able to move on?
I wish. I wish i had enjoyed those moments with him more, fought less. If only i had known we wouldnt have much time together, i would have
I am heartbroken. It is the most horrible feeling in the world. I loved my boyfriend so much. I feel like Steve is really the love of my life. I was supposed to come over for thanksgiving. I get a txt from him not to come over. That he doesnt want to see me anymore. I dont get we had spoke a day before and everything was fine and the next day its over. I never had a doubt he loved me. He was a great guy. I miss him more than anything i feel like i cant go on without him. I feel like i cant breathe, my heart hurts and my stomach is in knots. I kept calling and txtin till today, i realized hes not going to answer, hes happy without me. I am miserable without him. I dont know how to get myself up and keep on walking. Why would he just leave me like that? Did he ever loved me ???? Thats what keeps going thru my head.
Aww I’m crying just reading this my boyfriend left me for a fat ugly girl on thanks giving also if u live NYC we can talk always good to talk
Everyone says that u wont die from a brokenheart. But it sure feels like thats the only way to stop the pain. He told me that it is over because of something that my brother did to him. I apologized for it. He says that i have to pay for my brothers mistake WHY? All I did was love him. I feel like he just needed an excuse to leave me. I constantly check my cell. He isnt calling me back. I dont know how to just let go. Too many memories, everything reminds me of him. I constantly ask myself why should i care if he doesnt care about me!!! But i still care and still love him.
Here’s the thing:
In my experience, it doesn’t ever really go away. If it’s real, it stays with you forever, but just stings less. For me, it’s been almost two years, and I still cry, stare at pictures, wish and pray he will call, and most of all– I dream about him almost every night. I try so hard to do other things right before I go to bed so I don’t dream about him, but I obviously cant change what I dream. For two years now. I feel NOTHING for other men– the thought of it is ridiculous and revolting. I don’t believe I will ever be 100 percent healed. Sure, I will live my life, maybe even find someone else who I am content with many years from now… but I will never never never love as much as I loved him, and I’ll probably think about him on my deathbed.
Not to be depressing, but this is my experience.
I constantly ask myself why we fell for them. And why we mean nothing to them?? How does that make amy sense
Well im a 13 year old girl…I have fallen in love with some1 in the internet some ppl say i cant fall in love in the internet if i dont know the guy but i could…o and some say im 2 young and shit! but i think that it doesnt matter what age u are you can fall in love at any age. Well i fall in love in this website called runescape.com lol i know its sorta nerdy. I met this super sweet, caring, nice, and he was soooo funny
at first we started as really close friends. then like 1 day he told me he loved me but i didnt say it back 2 him right away cause i was away from the keyboard lol but then i saw what he said but he logged out 
when he came back he told me that he had tripped and had 2 go 2 the hospital. I was fucking scared lol we just kept on talking for like 14min cause he was waiting 4 his friend 2 pick him up. He told me that he loved me again but this time in spanish, he said “Te Quiero” that means i like u in spanish but he thought it was i love u so i just saidi like you 2. he got sad lol when he was leaving i said i love u and hes like “YOU DO”!!!!! 
he was soooo happy and i was 2. but what really sucks is that we cant see each other cause we live so far away. I cry sooo much for him. i need him. Hes the 1st person i had ever said i love u. I really want him with me….. 
hey im 13 too. most people say its just puppy love but there are the few who know what we are talking about. if hes really that special to you long distance isnt the best idea it maes your days harder and if you break up it hurts that much worse. try someone you can see more often, but best of luck to you
Hey sweetie i know u likr pissed about people sayin that ur to young to be in love lol i have hard that one im 17 btw all i really have to say is dont fall for the first guy to say i love u cuz guy r like buses miss one there 15 more coming i know that does not help with u bein broken hearted i just wanted to try and make u feel better cant help with broken heart stuff i need to fix mine first but i hope whaat i said made since and made even put a lil smile on ur face
I dont live out there, sorry i live in California. I dont understand why they do us this way. I sometimes do believe that good people always finish last. How long were u dating for?
my wife has fallen out of love with me and its my fault. i was to self centered and wasnt caring enough to show her the love she desperatly needed, as well as verbally and emotionally abusive. i know i deserve what i am receiving but it still hurts so bad. shes got a good friend down from mariland who always been there to protect her. i know he will take care of her and not hurt her, but please tell me how to get my head and heart to stop hurting so bad. i fear suicide might become a better idea than it has already been, and easier
You’re right. You have a lot to feel crappy about. You should have cared about her and shown her every single chance you had. You should have “shown” her how much you cared and given her the love she needed. You were her husband…. BUT you shouldn’t carry it all on your shoulders. She was in the wrong for turning to someone else and I really have a hard time with this “falling out of love” thing. I want to think that all that means and all that is, is a huge ball of frustration and anger blocking the love. I don’t know. What I do know is that you mentioned that she was your “wife” which means that unless she’s already cheated on you and betrayed all hope then you still have a chance. Fight for her. Do everything you can to save the marriage and make up for your wrongs. Don’t lie or make excuses. Just love her and win her back. Don’t give up. If you’re in the same state that she is and that other person is still in Maryland then you have the upper edge..
But no matter what, no matter what.. Suicide is NEVER the answer. NEVER. It would just prove that you’re not done being selfish. Because as “easy” as people think it is, it’s not “easy” for the people that you leave behind. When you commit suicide you don’t think of your family or friends or children (if you have any) and it’s just a selfish thing to do.
So PLEASE, PLEASE don’t ever even think of that again..
David, if she’s still your wife and you love her. And I mean truly love her.. Get her back. Good luck.
SO, i saw this and i was reading everything and it really helped. I started dating this guy right before school let out last year. School let out so we were then living very far apart, but we kept in touch, and even got to meet up a couple times. He came up and met my family. I really liked him, and i fell really fast. I knew better, but i thought this was perfect and it would work out and be different. He had been staying at school all summer, and he went home for a couple weeks right before school started. While he was home, i noticed he was kinda different when we would talk and stuff, but i figured it was just that he was only home for a short time and was super busy with stuff there. Well, school started and we were finally able to be together, and he wasn’t as super sweet as he was before, but he explained that he had some different issues going on and i totally understood and agreed with him. We kept dating and it seems like it was for forever, but i know it really was just a few months. Things seemed so close to perfect, and he talked like he really liked me and was really serious, and i let myself fall farther and farther for him. Then he says he needs to figure some stuff out, and we go on a break. So i’m counting down the days til it’s over. Then his best friend says he doesn’t think we’re going to get back together because of drama with his parents, because they don’t speak english and he must think i’m a total idiot or something that i wouldn’t be able to learn another language… Anyways, i totally had a melt down and cried and cried and cried. I had not considered us not getting back together as being a possibility. He found out i cried and told my brother that he did not say that and that he still liked me. so this gave me a little hope, but i did not want to be excited, because i wanted to play this smart so as not to be too hurt. Well, i’m dumb, and even though we were completely not talking for this break, he text me a couple times, and i text him back, just to let him know i was still thinking about him. Well, now, everytime he sees me, his eyes don’t light up or he doesn’t smile at me anymore. And i’m pretty sure he’s asking other girls out now. Which is fine. It just hurts lots cuz we talked about our future, and it sounded so good to me, and i thought he really liked me, and would even love me someday, but i guess not. It just hurts to see how i could see in the way he looked and acted with me that he really did care, but now he looks at me like i’m a nobody, and i don’t even matter. I was so happy because i finally found someone who was normal, nice, super cute, and had everything together. i guess it was too good to be true. I’m trying not to be a big baby, but sometimes seeing him having such a good time with other people makes me so sad, like i wish he could at least be a little bit sad that we weren’t “us” anymore. And our break isn’t formally over, so i don’t know what to do. I don’t want to go and be like, “i’m Done”, but i’m really ready to be over this being in the middle thing and not knowing what he’s thinking. I know this is dumb, and people on here have a lot worse problems, but this is helping me just writing it all out. And i hate sleeping now. It’s easier being awake, because when i’m awake i know reality and i deal with it, but when i’m sleeping, i dream about him and in my dreams we’re best friends again. Then i wake up, and it’s all gone.
… I know i’m going to make it through this, even though sometimes it doesn’t feel like it! I’m strong, just hurting so very much.
man,
after reading some of the stories up here i cant help but relate and take solace in other people’s grief.mine is just another sad love story. been with this guy a good four years and only to discover two days ago that he been sleeping with just about everyone around the block.and when i say everyone i mean everyone.
I cant tell for how long it has been going on.for some reason that doesn’t even matter. much as that hurts the icing on the cake is the lame excuses and lies he is showering me with in the name of its because “he cares for me”. and brushing and laughing off.
He was my first, first for many of my experiences. now all i have is this uncontrollable hate, how does your best friend, the one whom you trust betray you so deep.
Life in the end must go on but with a big chunk of my heart missing. My ability to love and trust in any man ever again. But this is a different kind of hurt i feel. its so deep i am at a loss.Just pray for strength because i am slowly losing it.
i just broke up with my boyfriend a few days ago. it still stings and im still with the cold shaky hands and the never ending sick feeling. when i read this i cried and then realized it because it was true what you said. although im not fully over it. when i finished reading this the sick feeling finally went away. thank you so much.
Well, my story is pretty long, but I’ll try to keep it short. About 2 1/2 years ago, I met this amazing girl. We met in school,(we are in the ARMY,it was our advanced training.) and were instantly attracted to each other. We both had same interests, and shared a mutual respect for each other. After talking for a couple of weeks, we were finally allowed to leave post on the weekends. we spent our first day out with some friends and it was pretty clear that we were both interested in each other. we started dating and made it official a week later. We knew that being in the military meant that at the end of our first part of training(six months/phase1), we would just continue to be friends, but end the relationship. I was okay with it, but hoped things would still work out between us. as our relationship went on we became closer and closer. we both agreed we were great friends and loved each other very much.
the end of our first part of training was almost over and we managed to make some changes and got stationed together for our second six month training. this was the best thing that could ever have happened. our relationship grew as did our friendship. we had an amazing time. at the end of this training, she would go home(reservist) and i would continue to my first duty statioin(active duty).
she kind of avoided me a biy the last couple of nights we were there. i imagined it would be hard for us to just end the relationship, so i figured she was just preparing herself for it. well, she later told me she was. the day came and went, we were both of to our seperate ways. we continued our contact, daily, i believe and whenever i mentioned i missed her she’d cry. this went on for a while and then we stopped talking as much.
we got back together a couple months later and things were still the same. we had many good times and many good memories.
well, a couple months later we were done again. she sent me a letter telling me that she loved me very much and i was the most important person to her in the world, but she felt that she was holding on to our relationship because she was afraid of losing her best friend. i took this very hard and cried many nights. i was constantly a second away from crying, my eyes always watery. i felt like i had lost my best friend in the world.
we talked a bit and then it became hard for her because she always ended up crying after we’d hang up.
a month and a half went by and i get a text on christmas eve, asking what i was doing for christmas. she invited me to her parents house and i made the seven hour drive, alnight, and got there christmas morning. we saw each other and the feelings for me were still there. we hung out and at some point felt very awkward. i went downstairs and told her mom i was leaving because, maybe this was a mistake. she had gone to take a shower and her mom pursuaded me to stay. i did and after she got out of the shower, we talked and decided that we were both very happy to be there. next morning when i left she said bye and as i drove off, i saw her crying. we texted each other that day and flirted a bit.
the following week, on new years eve, we talked a bit and things felt like they would eventually move forward. i took a surprise visit that week and we spent it up at her parents huse. this time around, the feelings were there for both of us and we got back together. this was this year, january 2009. we had the most awesome times together. either she would come down to visit me or i would go visit her as often as possible. we talked a few times about marraige and kids and future plans. she always said how we had a perfect relationship, because not only were we lovers, but best friends too.
we never fought, always saw things the same and always had a great time when we were togehter. the only bad thing was the distance. i couldnt be with her as much as i would like. every time i’d visit, she cried when i left.
well, the last time i went to visit was nov 09-12th. we had a great time as always. a week later, the 18th of nov, i get an email. she said she had been thinking alot about our relationship the past cupple of months and still felt like she did last fall. she took into account all the reasons we were good for each other. she felt that eventhough things were great, and she loved me alot, she just couldnt get over the feeling that she had held on for the fear of losing me as a friend and was not “in love” with me. she remains hopeful that we will at some point rebuild our friendship and we’d be part of each others life forever.
now, i am very much in love with her. she wanted to take a break from daily contact, which she thought was a “mistake” the first time. well, i emailed her the folling day. then i called her and she started crying and hung up. i texted her mom and she told me to look at it as a sabatical, just a break. she was all i had. i missed talking to her so i would text her mom, kind of to keep in touch. two weeks later, dec 1st, i decided i was gonna try to save our relationship. i drove the 8 hour trip and was gonna surprise her at her apartment. i really missed her and thought, if i see her, there might be enough there to keep us together.
so eight hours later, i get there and i walk up to her door and ring the bell. i hear her coming down the stairs, and have the hugest knots in my stomach. she opens the door and says,” oh my bleeping god!”, closes the door.
she opens it and repeats this 2 more times. i asked if i should leave and she said no. ” i’m in a hurry getting ready for work, so follow me up and talk as i get ready,” she said. i sit there as she gets ready and pour my heart out to her. “god she’s gorgeous,” i think to myself. as she’s getting ready i can see she’s fighting back the tears. she finally tells me,” do you think just because i broke up with you it’s easy for me. i miss you and i cry everyday. you havent given me any time to myself, the emails,texts to me and my mom and now this.” “i love you alot, but i’m not in love with you and i cant be with you for that reason alone. yes we had a perfect relationship, and i love being with you, i never faked any of it. but im not in love with you.”
we hugged a bit, and left her apartment. as i walked her to her car, we hugged one more time for a bit and she appologized for rushing me but she had to make it to work on time. i told her she could call me if she ever needed anything and she said she would. as she walked away, she started crying with lots of sentiment. i felt horrible, like maybe i had made a mistake.
now i sit here, very sad and lonely. i know she will eventually call, but i hate the feeling of knowing it is over forever. i feel like she was my soulmate. we were perfect for each other, which she also agrred. she just said that no matter how much she tried, she just wasnt in love with me. what does that mean? if she agrees we had an amazing relationship and the chemistry was still there and loved me, what is that?
sorry so long, but i literraly have no one to talk to and am very sad and lonely at the moment. i guess now it’s just a waiting game. i got two more years in the army and dont plan on trying to date anyone anytime soon, so time is all i have. my biggest fear is losing her forever.
thanks for any support!
juz relax if ur heart wuz really broken u would’nt b livin!!!!
Thank you very much for being there in such a time in my life.
Thank you for the support.
Renata.
I’m sooo sorry that you’re going through this. She doesn’t know how lucky she is to have a relationship like the one you described.
I read 2 different things from this scenario. Either 1) She has feelings for someone else or 2) She’s just not ready for a relationship and doesn’t realize how hard it is to get the type of relationship you both shared.
Here’s my advice: Let her go. You’ve plead your case. Now see if she really means it. Stop texting her or her mother as much. Just “be her friend”. Find someone else. Date and here’s the tip: Tell her about it (don’t be obvious). Just act like she’s just the type of friend that you can tell her about your relationships with. Tell her how amazing the girl you met is and how you feel like you’re really starting to like her. Don’t create a girl though. You should really meet one. Just exaggerate your feelings about her though. If the girl you love “isn’t really in love with you” then it won’t bother her one bit to hear about someone else. She’ll be happy for you and “mean it” but if she does truly love you and “is in love with you” but is either too dumb or too blind to realize it then it will kill her to see you with someone else. She will crack. Try it. What do you have to lose? You’ll either get the girl you love, or meet someone new in the process..
Let me know how it goes.
Okay, I want to tell my story in the hopes that the pain would go away. I will say that reading everyone’s story does make me feel a little better. I guess it’s true when they say that misery loves company. :/ I just recently broke up with my boyfriend of almost 2 years. It would have been 2 years on the 27th of this month. Overall we had a good relationship. He was my comfort zone, my best friend, and the only person to ever make me feel like they couldn’t live without me. I have known him for many years but since I was young and he was married, there was nothing between us. After he seperated from his wife,we started our relationship. We had many ups and downs. With the seperation many things in life started to go bad, and i was there from beginning to end. Over the past 3 weeks things began to change. He wasn’t calling me and he wasn’t available for me when I needed him the most. I kept asking where he was and what he was doing. i explained to him that I knew something was up because he wasnt giving me all of him anymore and it is noticable. I cried to him and begged him to stop doing what he was doing and he insisted that he wasn’t doing anything. I changed my number and stopped talking to him until his birthday came around on the 5th. Things went bad and I ended up with a broken car window and he ended up with a broken hand. We tried to work things out and talk about it, and he would come to my house in this white car saying it was his uncle’s. He came over yesterday and something told me to go in the car and check the caparments. Sure enough the car is registered to a female, not to mention all the bracelets and shoes in the car. HOW DARE HE? DID HE REALY COME TO MY HOUSE IN ANOTHER FEMALE’S CAR?! He cried to me and said that he was just using her to have somewhere to stay because his living situation was going to change next month. My heart hurts so much to know that my man has been with another woman. It sucks because he makes me feel like i am the side chick by coming over in her car. I am constantly crying and going through a range of emotions. I know that he is no good for me, but he has been all I know for the past 2 years and more. This hurts so much. I don’t think that I will ever find love like this again, and it sucks. I hope that the pain doesn’t last long, until then I guess I am all I have.
I broke up with my girlfriend on wednesday. after 2 and half years of us being together she finally turned around to me and told me that she was no longer in love with me. im 21 and she is 20. and i know they say that the younger you are the more it hurts. but my friends seem to go through relationships and are fine afterwards. I seem to have a terrible emotional time afterwards. I am not ashamed to say ive cried. I tried my very best for 2 and half years to keep her happy. we have spent 2 great holidays with eachother and I really dont seem to understand how she fell out of love with me.
Sex seemed to be a big problem for us. we never clicked in the way that we needed to. we didnt have sex for the first year and half of us being together and would rarely do anything else. This was one of the things that caused us to break up. whilst i was never aggressive or nasty about the fact she wasnt sexually interested in me. She said this was another factor because she should be interested in me but she just didnt understand why she wasnt and that it was nothing I had done but it wasnt getting any better the longer I was with her.
For 2 years we spent nearly every night together. On average over the time we were together I would say that we spent 5-6 nights a week together. weeks on end we would see eachother everynight. I now feel lost with her out. I have tried socializing with my friends more going out both nights of the weekend just gone but now its sunday I feel extremely lost and unware of what to do. I feel emptiness and depression looms over my head. Even worse with christmas and new years eve around the corner where we had made plans to spend both days together i know that i will be lonely.
I have read many pages on how to get over a broken heart. many say to write down how you feel. Unfortunately I cant describe how I feel. I have huge jealousy as I fear that she will be going out meeting new guys. and although she has assured me she didnt like someone else when we broke up – I fear that she does.
I cannot help but think about what I am missing – I keep going to speak about her as my girlfriend but then realising that this is no longer the case. any help as to what I can do to get my mind off her would be greatly helpful!
Keeping myself active works but as soon as i stop whatever I have taken off my mind builds up into one giant session as soon as i sit down.
I’m broken
Two weeks ago my girlfriend broke up with me. Over Skype chat. Says she loves me, is still in love with me but can’t handle the fact that I have a kid (from divorce 3 years ago).
We’ve been living together for a year. Couple months back she had a fight with my ex wife, defending me and since then she’s been steadily moving away. From having the perfect relationship (she was great with my kid to start off with) to fighting every time I had my kid over (once every 2 weeks!).
Some part of me thinks I’m obsessed with her. I was going to marry this woman, she has shown me her ideal ring, I’ve started saving for it, planning how to ask her dad, propose. And now, just like that, she’s gone.
Worst part is till now she’s been texting me how much she still loves me and misses me, still coming over to visit her puppy, but even though I organised a romantic dinner and asked her to take me back, try one more time, she’s too stubborn. Ate the sushi and left, leaving me with “I don’t know”
This morning I hear from her how she’s met a nice guy, but not thinking of a relationship as she wants to be single for now. Replaced already!
I’m 31 years old and an emotional wreck. It’s even affecting my work, had the boss speak to me this morning. I can’t fall asleep till like 3 in the morning, cause I miss her being there next to me. I wake up, reach for her and she’s not there.
I’ll take her back in a heartbeat. This morning she tells me her love for me is fading.
It hurts…
Boys are dumb. especially ones that let you fall in love with them, and talk about wanting to marry you, and then they just walk away to find someone else.
I was livin with my guy at 16 never left his side he told me everyday he loved me and that he never wanted to be away from me. I was stayin with him because i was tryin to run away from the deparment of family and children servies (long story) but i had know him for such a long time 4 years before he asked me to stay with him we had not be datin long but i though if he was willin to take care of me like that then he really must love me right? i stayed with him for about to months never once had a fight. well long story short as always what i was running from cought up to me and i got put in a group home my guy told me he loved me and he would wait from me bla bla bla well after a month of bein in the group home they moved me to a family and the first thing i did was call him and everything was ok for about 2 months again then he stoped callin stoped returning my calls. I though i was goin to die i was havin panic attacks everyday that i was away from him from the day that i left him to a year after to this day i still have them when i think of him well this not talkin went on for a few months my birthday passes and i moved homes well he is really good friends with my older brothers and sisters so he gets my new cell number and calls me and dumb me takes him back and everthing fine for a few days then the calls stop everything stops again!! well months go by and i send him a message over myspace tellin him that i love him and if he does not love me to let me know so i can move on well he calls me tells me he loves me and dumb me i go back to him again everything is perfect for about 2 weeks and then the same old thing happen. how im i goin to ever be able to get over my brake up if there was never a brake up i have no closer in this just what ifs and would could have beens im so confused and find it hard to breath when i talk about him or go by place that we spent time at or see our old friends i dont even enjoy music anymore this whole realtionship has changed me i dont have friends anymore cuz i dont talk to people and i was a socal butterfly i tell my best friend to stop whinein when she talk about a different boy every week treatin her bad im not the same person I dont know what to do im only 17 i should be out enjoyin life i will soon be 18 and i have no friends to share that with if anyone anyone at all can help please feel free to try thank u