Fat Chicks (What Else Is New?)
July 30, 2007 by Sara Ost
Filed under Beauty, Boys & Girls, Extreme, Media, Sex, Weight Loss
You know what I’m tired of? Fat female actresses. They’re everywhere, and something has to be done. Young girls look up to these women as role models! We can’t be raising a generation of muffin tops the likes of these oinkers.
Just take a gander at these well-known cases of chunk:
J.Lo
There’s no nice way to say it: she’s a fatty.
Beyonce
In a word: heinous.
Jessica Biel
Has GQ lost their collective marbles? According a recent reader thread from a certain gossip blog, she’s virtually indistinguishable from a horse. Well put, friends, well put. It’s nice to find that there are still people out there with a healthy perspective on beauty.
Scarlett Johansson
Being that Scarlett is by far the worst case of celebrity obesity, I guess it was really sweet of Vogue to feature this full-figured actress in a recent issue. “I can dress in whatever I want,” proclaims the defiant Scarlett from the cover. Apparently, it’s about time all those thick girls with 23″ waists felt empowered, but do we really need to see it on a magazine cover? It’s just too bad that Vogue felt it necessary to cave to the P.C. police.
We simply must call attention to the burgeoning celebrity obesity epidemic. (And I am greatly relieved to see that the blogosphere is fighting the good fight against the obscenely voluptuous likes of the actresses featured herein). Perhaps with increased awareness and plenty of diet support from our friend Posh Spice, these ladies can finally take steps to shape up.
Also, dear readers, you’ll be relieved to know that the underground movement informally known as 90-PINP (90 Pounds Is the New Passable) is slowly but surely gaining traction amongst a few female celebrities. Remember what we learned in kindergarten? “Few” means two…two thousand. So we can only pray that the movement continues to grow. You know, like a meme or something!
Be sure to join us tomorrow for the exclusive breaking report on the revolutionary 90-PINP trend. You won’t believe the female celebrities who have secretly joined the movement! They need our support now more than ever, lest we suffer the consequences of a society that promotes healthy standards for women.
If this is tongue in cheek it’s in poor taste.
If not…well, kids may be reading this so I won’t say it.
You know you could really warn a guy when he is going to click a link to pic of a guy in a thong…
–shudder–
You like… “WARNING. SCARY PIC AHEAD!”
ANA,
Thank you for sharing your opinion and stopping by!
Brian,
Apologies to you and everyone for the thong link – I had no idea that was what that blog had posted today! You’re welcome!
note: switching gossip blog link so no one else has to suffer…
note: nevermind, they are all covering the same story.
Didn’t Nicole Richie have a party not too long ago and the invatation read something like you can’t come in if you weigh more than a hundred pounds?
The forerunner in the 90-PINP movement.
ok, i seriously hope you are joking with this. because the ladies you have mentioned here are not obese, but healthy. if you will notice, all of them have abs and strong legs. the biggest thing on them? their bums. that’s it. i honestly would rather have my daughters look up to these girls than a skinny, 85 pounds sopping wet.
Ha, Lisa, I am absolutely joking. My point (which I think a few of my readers missed) is that standards are ridiculous! I’d love to look like any of these ladies. I think most guys would find them totally beautiful, so it amazes me that they are routinely either criticized as “fat” in the blogosphere or considered “full figured”. They’re all totally toned and curvy – I for one don’t get the Hilary Duff/Lindsay/Paris/Sienna standards. I think most of them looked far better before.
How could you not mention the cream of the cream, the height of the heights, the top of Old Smokey: Heather Graham and Callista Flockhart? Those are two fabulously hot ladies who give food a bad name!
(There will always be someone who does not get the joke. Don’t worry about it.)
Of course! How could I forget!?! Heather is just a disaster, which we all know from Anger Management, right?
Ok then!! That makes more sense. Thank you for clearing that up for me
I have to totally agree with you one that. Totally agree 
This post is very dumb.All those women you call fat are actually beautiful women with wonderful (100% female) bodies.World should finally realize that anorexia is sexy.
Are you sure you’re not an anorexic gay male getting his drink on and slamming celeb’s for lack of anything better to do? Oh well, as a real man, these women look fine. If the measure of beauty is having the body of a skinny fifteen year old boy, I’ll take these women.
…why don’t you have a picture up on this site? why didn’t you give us your weight?
these ladies are absolutely NOT FAT! they are definitely far from it, they look how every NORMAL person should look. Just because you are jealous of their curves and their body type doesn’t mean you have to call them fat. they are all beautiful and unique in their own right. i’m sorry that they don’t live up to your barbie doll expectations. and i guess i won’t either i’m 5′3 and 197lbs. i must be a fat ass pig then.
i hope your childeren die from anorexia you “fat” whore.
Yes – I too am deeply angered by people’s inability to understand SATIRE.
Hell Yeah! Fat Chicks Must Die!
P.S. Lizzie – you have no respect for vanity, and you must be “unfemininely” overweight judging by your comment.
Gordas? LOOOOOOL mas toda a gente quer que uma mulher seja ua alien agora? Quando um gajo é gordo é porque é musculado, quando uma mulher tem o corpo que deve ter é gorda…LOL Sinceramente…Vocês não sabem o que é gordura..:P
people like u are wats wrong with the world today
Don’t you get it? Blubber is just plain UGLY.
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they arent fat just coz they have curves. have u had a larger lady? how do u know if u dnt try it that u dnt like it? u lot that are obviously lookin for perfection shud look in the mirror. ur jackasses the lot of u.
are you kidding!!
there are people who are 300kgs and you call 60kgs obese!
this person has issues and doesnt respect womens bodies the way they should!
there are millions of women thet are 300kgs and wish to look like beyonce and J.Lo and keri underwood!
all the women in the pictures look the same anyway!!