- Behind Closed Doors, Charlie Rich, 1973

Okay, so it’s not something that we freely admit but let’s face it, we all have a little bit of curiosity as to what goes on in other people’s bedrooms. After all, we live in a world that seems to be obsessed with sex. But when it comes to talking about the intimate details of one’s sex life, it’s something that seldom happens, especially among women.

Writer and editor Paula Derrow thinks this is because of fear…

‘fear of being exposed as inadequate, or worse, of being boring. Living in an all-sex-all-the-time culture may be liberating in many ways, but it can also breed shame – shame for not keeping up, for not being invited to the party.’

So Paula set out to open up the door by getting a number of well known women writers ranging in their twenties to their seventies write about, well, their sexual experiences. The result – Behind the Bedroom Door - a collection of extremely frank, truly honest, and often hilarious essays that literally offer exposure to the other side of the bedroom door.

The result – a real page turner of a book that will hold your attention in it’s truly illuminating and deeply honest discussion about sex that’s seldom found. You’ll nod, laugh, despair, and empathize as you read essay topics range from illicit affairs, one night stands, sex toys, and sex addiction to dealing with sex in pregnancy, monogamy, lesbian affairs, and living in a sexless marriage. Nothing is left unsaid in this book that shatters many of the deeply entrenched myths about women’s intimate lives. Covering a wealth and variety of female sexual experience,  Behind the Bedroom Door will leave you questioning conventional notions about women, sex, and sentiment. 

Having read the book, I got to say I was really curious as to how Paula managed to put this book together. So I asked her.

Healthbolt: How did you choose these particular writers and was it easy to persuade them to write about their experiences? 

Paula: I turned to the best writers I know, both from working at Self over the years, and from all the reading I do. Some writers led me to other writers. I also called some favorite writers cold (or their agents), and tried to pique their interest with this juicy topic.

Healthbolt: How in the world did you manage to get these writers to lay open such personal aspects of their lives for public display?

Paula: As an editor at Self and a teacher focusing on personal essay writing, I’m used to pushing writers to go deeper, to search themselves for the real meaning of what they are trying to say.

Healthbolt: Any problems along the way?

Paula: Of course. Given the personal nature of this topic, there were some challenges: Some writers dropped out; Some husbands objected and persuaded their spouses to drop out.

Healthbolt: I guess that’s understandable. After all the writers are not using aliases and are really exposing themselves and often their spouses or partners in these essays. And yet, they were willing to be extremely frank and honest in their essays.

Paula: Mostly because I tried to emphasize that these stories weren’t about betraying a partner or airing dirty laundry or simply about voyeurism – each one is about the women herself – what she feels, experiences, desires and worries about in bed. Making sure that we were keeping the focus on that helped make it easier for each writer to feel comfortable and deliver.

Healthbolt: Well, you certainly succeeded. Anyone reading Behind the Bedroom Door will get a much better understanding on the variety and extreme differences that each of us experience behind the bedroom door. It’s definitely got Healthbolt’s seal of approval.

….

Healthbolt’s got one copy of Behind the Bedroom Door to give away. All you need to do is leave a comment here by 31st January to be in to win.  And when you leave the comment, if you know, tell us who else sung the Charlie Rich song ‘Behind Close Doors’.

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With so many health benefits, what are you waiting for? Why aren’t you getting busy in the bedroom? Well, according to Health.com there are a number of reasons why it might not be happening. Their list of 10 Reasons You’re Not Having Sex, ranging from the fact a bed cluttered with laptops, iPods, and TV remotes simply does not encourage intimacy to the reality that a ‘crazy busy life’  leaves no energy for spontaneous or even scheduled sex. But not to worry, along with their list of sexbusters is a list of suggestions on how to fix it.

And in the fix it stakes, why not go green. In Sex It Up Eco-Friendly Style, The Green Girls offer fun suggestions ranging from vegan chocolate body paint and organic massage oil to Body Candy “Lickable” Massage Balm and eco-friendly toys that might just be the thing to spice things up.

Ending on a humorous note, you have got to check out this Mental Floss post on 5 Innovative Ways to Encourage Safer Sex that features everything from condom trees to spray on protection. Creativity at it’s best.

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What causes this is a sensitivity to the proteins in a guy’s semen, a condition which actually has a name: human seminal plasma protein hypersensitivity (SPH). A person can be sensitive to the proteins in the semen of most men, or to a specific guy’s proteins in particular.

Symptoms of an allergy may include localized pain, itching, redness, swelling, hives or even trouble breathing! Most symptoms usually show up within 20 -30 minutes of contact and can last for hours or days. The severity really depends on body chemistry.

How to treat this very unpleasant side effect of lovin’? Condoms, of course, create a barrier (unless you have an allergy to latex, of course) or perhaps a look into desensitization, something your health care professional might be able to help you with.

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So I won’t keep you all tied up at the computer, since you’ll surely have some other sexy matters to attend to, but I do want to share two great links with you today, both from Women’s Health magazine.

15 Things You Never Knew About Sex: A totally fun quiz exploring things like how graham crackers and sex are related, whether or not French kissing is bad for your teeth, and settling once and for all whether chocolate is a natural aphrodisiac or not! (By the way, I scored an 11 out of 15 on this quiz, thereby clinching the title of “Sex Goddess”. Yay me!

After you’re through with the quiz, your reward is a bonus link spelling out the best position for achieving the ever-elusive female orgasm. But no worries if you’re a fella – this position is sure to make your head spin, too (of course, nothing makes you hotter than seeing your lady explode with pleasure, am I right?)

That’s it for this weekend, my sexy friends. Have a great end-of-summer weekend, and don’t forget to create some summer heat of your own…in the sack!

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And contrary to popular belief, men also have “spots” – and it’s not their entire member. While that’s certainly a hot zone as well, according to Cosmo, men actually have 7 – yes 7! – different “Moan Zones.” Check them all out here, as well as explicit directions on how to stimulate these areas for mind-blowing manly excitement.

Another Cosmo gem: 3 types of sex men crave. A fun read with plenty of ideas in case you’re in the mood for a little experimentation this weekend.

Enjoy, my sexy friends. Enjoy!

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Happy Sexbolt Saturday, everyone!

You know, I’ve been writing about sex (or linking to articles others have written) every week for about 8 months now, and it’s never dawned on me (until now) to ask you sexy beasts what it is YOU want to learn about.

So, I’m asking now.

If there is something about sex or relationships I can dig up for you, let me know. Chances are there are all kinds of peeps who want to know the same darn thing.

Just leave me a comment here (you can be anonymous) or send me an email (use “Liberty’s” email address link in the right sidebar over there.) —–>

Mostly anything is game for discussion, though I reserve the right to decide which questions fit well with the site. Please keep your emails and comments respectful, as I also reserve the right to report anyone acting out of line.

I look forward to hearing from you. Fire away…this will be fun!

Have a safe and sexy weekend, y’all!

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Ever wonder why men turn into boobs when they see a pretty girl in a bikini? Find out here.

Great news sex fiends – more sex equals less chance of ED (erectile dysfunction) as men age.

Need another reason to dig into that juicy, drippy watermelon this summer? How ’bout for its Viagra-like effects? Find out more.

And finally…

Why exactly do nice guys finish last? Turns out there is a biological reason the ladies dig Bad Boys.

Have a sexy weekend!!

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Um, maybe if you’re a sex addict.

And so go the theories about Christie’s soon-to-be ex-husband, Peter Cook. Say some experts, all these behaviors point to someone who has an addictive sexual personality. Someone who has such low self-esteem that he chooses to indulge an 18-year-old mistress instead of forming a sensual and mutually-respective relationship with his spouse. Someone who likely looks to porn and unrealistic standards to get his engine running.

Naturally, none of these experts have treated Brinkley or Cook, but it stands to reason there may be something wrong with this guy’s gray matter if he is not satisfied with a beautiful model for a wife.

Of course, there are two sides to every story, but wow. Just wow.

For more on this story, visit ABC News
For more information on sexual addiction, visit Sex Addicts Anonymous

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Image details: Close-up of alphabets spelling the word Sex with red chili peppers on a tray served by picapp.com

It’s Sexbolt Saturday again, my kittens, and we got a hold of an article that spells out 56 glorious reasons to meet up in the sheets. Now, those 56 reasons are fab, indeed, but some of them we’ve already shared with you here, here, and here. Because, you know, we like to give you lots of reasons to have sex. As if you needed some more.

But if you’re mojo ain’t quite where you’d like it to be this weekend, give these a read (hell, have your honey read ‘em, too) and get ready for one sassy samba in the sack.

Enjoy! And Happy Sexbolt Saturday!

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Image details: Caras Latinas served by picapp.com

Happy Sexbolt Saturday, y’all! Got any bedroom plans in today’s line up? If so, good for you. But, remember, while getting funky in the boudoir can be crazy fun, it can also be, um, dangerous. Remember this post? The one about how a fella can actually break his saluting soldier? It’s true. Read it again if you need a refresher.

If that’s not enough, you might also want to take a look at Sex Snafus that Ended Up in the ER, brought to you by the randy folks at Cosmopolitan magazine. You’ll get a great reminder why thermometers, hot dogs and rubber balls all have their place…and the bedroom ain’t it!

So the lesson for the day? Have a great time in the sack (or wherever). Just be sure to use to common sense precautions so you don’t end up a sex-capade casualty.

Go forth. Have sex. Be happy.

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