Morning News Fix: It’s Been a Minute
November 5, 2007 by Sara Ost
Filed under FDA, Misc., Morning News Fix
Remember that thing we used to do called the Morning News Fix? Good godlet, we’re neglectful. What’s up, kids? My toe is intact, my move is complete, and the cat says mew. Let’s get down to business, because we’re gangsta like that:
Mixing Vodka and Red Bull Is Unhealthy
More importantly, it’s disgusting. As usual, the health is really beside the point, isn’t it? Anyway, Fox is all in a tizzy about this study that shows college kids who drink caffeinated beverages mixed with alcohol are not only more likely to wear graphic tees with skulls and have skunk stripe highlights, they are also twice as likely to get sick and injured.
You Are Not Allowed to Blame It on a Spider Bite, Sicko
A rapist is blaming his actions on a spider bite. Apparently there were no Twinkies available. Here is a list of typical symptoms of a poisonous spider bite.
Dark Chocolate Heals the Heart
And we’re not talking about filling any gaping void of lovelorn loneliness here. Dark chocolate is good for your cardiovascular system, and your heart in particular. A Japanese study finds that dark chocolate increases blood flow to your thumper.
Captain Obvious Roundup
Music is good for your emotional health. Children are over-medicated. The FDA announces another new oversight committee to deal with all its screw-ups.
- Mug
I loved the toe special last week…they are kinda important. Try going through a day without one. And the rapist victim spider thing – I feel sorry for the spider. How do you think it feels about being associated with this dirtbag?
I love the news items… but even more than great news items I covet that awesome coffee mug!
I love that the minimum order is 144 mugs. Sounds about right to me.
I’ve just eaten 850 kilos of dark chocolate, and I don’t feel so good. See you in court. I’m suing Japan too.
And stop knocking Red Bull. Red Bull is just *great*. It’s miraculous, in fact.
My bathroom has never looked shinier, and even those really ground-in dark marks between the tiles have just disso….
What?
You *drink* it?
Dark chocolate? CHECK.
Music is good for the soul? CHECK.
Spiders mean business? CHECK.
That’s three for three. Sara, you just helped make my day.