The Worst Alarm Clocks Ever Invented
August 29, 2007 by Sara Ost
Filed under Humor, Technology, Theme Days
Redundant, I know.
Theme day alert here at the ‘bolt: Time
We’ll begin our theme day’s horological festivities with the most annoying alarm clocks ever to defile a nightstand.
Clocky: the alarm clock you play hide ‘n seek with.
Stubbed toes increase circulation, and that wakes you up!
Nooby: the alarm clock that verbally abuses you until you knock it around.
This will not work. You have to wring Noobster’s neck. Escalation may be unhealthy, but at least you’ll be in a really bad mood every morning, and that’s all that counts.
Kuku: the alarm clock that lays miniature eggs and crows until you put all its eggs in the basket.
It’s fortuitous that Kuku’s chirp is pleasant, because when the dog eats one of her eggs, you’re going to be spending a lot of time listening to it.
- via Uberreview
Wanna find out about the best alarm clocks? Of course you do!
The Edifier is one of many inexpensive iPod-ready alarm clocks.
And here’s a helpful review of more great alarm clocks (not sure why Clocky’s on the list, though).
Some neat ideas there, but I still think the ultimate alarm clock combines a clock, a paper shredder, and a hundred dollar bill. It’s a two piece system: the first piece is an alarm clock in the bedroom, the second is a paper shredder in some other room, say the kitchen or the bathroom. The two devices are synchronized and communicate wirelessly. When the alarm goes off, it begins a countdown for the paper shredder to activate. If the user doesn’t get out of bed in time to go deactivate the shredder in the other room, it turns on and shreds whatever paper happens to be in the feeder tray.
The key to success is to place an appropriate amount of money in the shredder before going to bed, based on how important it is that you get up in the morning.
I wrote about the idea a long time ago but have never put it together.
http://www.jacobgrier.com/blog/archives/420.html
That’s pretty good, but I find that just drinking quite a bit of water before I go to bed works just fine.
I know the one I miss most when I travel is my automatic grind and brew coffee maker.
(I love Jacob’s idea).
I heard about a clock that gave an electric shock to the body, and how it was scrapped during trials because they got the voltage wrong and the shocks in fact paralysed muscles, making the person lie there stunned for a few minutes…..until the Snooze function kicked in and gave them another jolt. So they were there all morning.
I’ll try to find the article.