Courting The Baby-Boomers

With the introduction of coffee flavored, excuse me, espresso flavored Twix bars does anyone besides me get the idea that the coffee promoters are actively courting baby boomers? Really, did our parents need Martini flavored hard candy?I don’t think so. And if there is any question on whether or not baby boomers are a very itneresting group right now just look at the American Girls’ series…They have come up with Julie, A Girl from 1974. And she is wearing one of my outfits.

Anyway, in light of that I thought I would help the ad people out with a few ideas of my own. If you happen to BE an ad exec feel free to contact me about my vivid imagination. Be sure and have your credit card handy.

1. Columbian Dusted and Panama Red takes on a whole new meaning. Bring back the keep on truckin’ guy ….And that’s all I am going to say about that. If you were there you are laughing uncontrollably. If you weren’t…well just forget about it.

2. Instead of Billy Beer consider Clinton Coffee.. The slogan? De-fine Coffee

3. Mood cups – coffee cups that change color according to your mood. Great for those PMS days.

4. A personal sized microwave coffee heater shaped like a pyramid. You put your cup in and it is warmed by the ancient vibes.

5. A coffee maker that looks like a lava lamp..this would be COOL!

6. Coffee Flavored Pop-rocks.

7. Gee Your Hair Smells Terrific: Mocha Latte scented

8. Kissing gloss- chai latte flavor, espresso flavor, caramel macchiato flavor

9. Funny Face Drink Mix: Kookie Coffee Flavor

10. Cap’n Crunch with Coffee Berries..try to tame THAT beast!

11. Coffee flavored Geritol

12. Fair Trade Close-up

13. Coffee bars featuring Rod McKuen’s poetry set to bad guitar.

14. I want to see Billy Jack as a Starbuck’s spokesperson. Yes I do.

15. Macrame coffee bean bags. I think it could work.

16. Pet coffee beans. It could work if you could get past the grinding that would become necessary at some point…

17.Tie dyed clothing made from coffee and tea infusions.
18. Gloria Gaynor sings new lyrics to I Will Survive for a decaf coffee
First I was afraid
I was petrified
Kept thinking I could never live
without you by my side
But then I spent so many nights
with you keeping me awake…
caffeinated shakes
I learned to cut my coffee intake
and now you’re back
from caffeine hell
I just walked in to find you here
with that incredible, enticing smell
I should have used the drive thru
I should have bought a sprite instead
If I had known for just one minute
Starbuck’s was what they said!
(parody on lyrics to I will Survive (c) 1978 by Gloria Gaynor, parody lyrics (c) 2008 marye audet)

19 Creem Magazine resurfaces as a latte recipe book

20.Hong Kong Phooey becomes the spokesperson for a new line of green tea.

21. Love’s Fresh Chai Body Spray

22. Hai Karate Green Tea for Men

23. Tiger Beat features Shade Grown Coffee Plantations

24. Starbucks comes out with little orange tags attached to the sides of coffee mugs and patrons chase each other around trying to rip them off.

25. and finally, Drake should come out with coffee filled Yodels. Please?