Starbucks recently introduced what may be the biggest set back for coffee drinkers since it was being boiled with eggshells over open fires by men named Slim, Cookie, and Billy Joe.

Starbucks Via is their newest foray into grasping at straws….  Short for Very Icky Aroma.  So, brace yourselves..because we’re goin’ in..

O.k.. the packaging is nice.  I like it.  Slimline, nice colors…good deco/upscale look.

But it goes down hill from the moment you open it and the scent of the coffee spills out.  If you have ever walked in to one of those pancake houses where the Bunn has been sitting on the burner with the same coffee in it for three days…OR if you have ever had the coffee at the OCmpany B mess hall at the Presidio of Monterey then you will have experienced the exotic aroma that wafted up from the package upon tearing it open.  And I hadn’t even added water yet.

I poured a little out on my hand.  It was a beautiful, dark, microgrind.  I tasted it. After my tongue uncurled I felt read to go on to making the coffee.

Pouring the package into the water was easy.  Stirring it, yep, easy.  It was the drinking that was tough.

The odor of carefully and methodically  scorched coffee intensified until it permeated my room.  The liquer is murkyand dark and if you don’t get it all stirred in you have sort of a sludge buildup on the sides of the cup.  Nice.

Taste is bitter, scorched, and stale.  If you have a fantasy of becoming a 1930s style journalist with a cigarette, a fedora, and a cheap suit then this is the coffee for you for sure.  If not, go ahead and donate it to the displaced cowboys society of Wyoming or something.

On a scale of 1-5?  Let’s not go there.  This is on equal footing with the Duncan Donuts coffee I reviewed.

Image: Starbucks

Post from: Kettle and Cup

Well, they just emailed me only moments ago.  Youc an now officially get a free sample of Starbucks Instant.

If I was really nice I would get one and try it so I could tell you about it.  I am not sure I am that nice.  We’ll see.

Here is where you go for the free sample, Starbucks Instant Coffee.

Image:via Starbucks

Post from: Kettle and Cup

I have tried hard not to comment on this.

I have tried hard not to comment on this.

I have tried hard not to comment on this.

I have……

Aaawww, junk.  I can’t do it.

If you haven’t heard, Starbucks will set coffee technology back fifty years next week and unveil its own instant coffee.

Yep.  Serious.  I half expect to hear that Gordon Ramsey is going to start serving Happy Meals. Mrs. Olson will be pleased to note that Starbucks has created an “Instant Coffee that replicates the flavor of Starbucks Coffee”…and only twenty years in the making.

I almost can’t talk about this because the possibilities for humor at Starbuck’s expense are so darn tempting.

It is like watching someone drowning, you know, or ….hmm…have you ever seen a 50 year old woman dressed in an outfit that a fifteen year old should be wearing?  That grasping state of being is the essence of Starbucks right now.  Rather than just bow out gracefully, accept the fact that they are no longer cutting edge and open the doors for the next big culture explosion, Starbucks seems to need to grasp at whatever it can like Cher clutching the plastic surgeon’s business card.

In honor of Starbucks newest folly I have to ask.  Do they know about flavor buds?

image:morguefile

Post from: Kettle and Cup

You know what moobs are, right?

Man boobs.  Apparently alot of men are getting them.

Without paying for them, I mean.  Researchers are trying to figure out what is going on quicker than Playtex can come out with a camoflauge print 60 Almost a B  cup man bra.  Sports team logo optional.

Phyto-estrogens are the culprit.  I wrote a long sermon on the evils of soy on Simply Home Remedies a week or so ago. So why am I talkign about moobs on Kettle adn Cup?

Apparently one of the big sources of phytoestrogens besides soy is…instant coffee! Researchers found that instant coffee (hereafter referred to in this post as swill) has 1833 micrograms per 100 grams of swill.

If some of you ladies think that this is a great reason to give up the whole bean creations for some swill in the hopes of adding a little up top..forget it.  The phyto-estrogens don’t work that way but they do increase the instances of breast cancer.

Just one more reason to lose the instant coffee.

Image:Morguefile.com

Post from: Kettle and Cup

Yep..it has finally happened.  Someone has found a use for instant coffee.

All of those years when you wondered why in the world Taster’s Choice even existed, all of those stale jars of Folger’s instant….well..now you know.  Everything has a purpose…even instant coffee…

Sunshine Plata, a Filipino artist is using instant coffee as a painting medium.   She used to use oils but since they are so expensive she looked around for something that was more available….instant coffee!

So, now she created paintings with instant coffee and sells them for $400.00 (and up) USD.

You should really take a look at her work.  They are fascinating, especially when you take into consideration that she is using instant coffee.

She says that she doesn’t drink coffee, she prefers tea.

I got rid of that nasty Dunkin Donuts stuff too soon!

Image:Morguefile

Post from: Kettle and Cup