Party Etiquette

So what is Party Etiquette exactly? Well, it’s a little bit of everything from: what are my duties as a host, what do I do as the guests arrive, what do I do during the party, who do I invite or don’t invite, what do I do about late guests, etc. I’ll answer all these burning questions and cover some things you may not have thought about before when planning and throwing a party. Alright, here we go with some party etiquette guidelines:

1. Who should I invite?

• If it’s for a kid’s birthday party, your child can choose to invite all girls or all boys.
• If you are planning a party with females and males, try to make sure it is balanced, meaning don’t invite 10 girls and 2 boys.
• Only invite as many guests as you can handle. You want your guests to be comfortable, so make sure you can accommodate the number of people you have invited.
• A rule of thumb for a dinner party, is to only invite six to eight. If you invite any more they may not all be able to fit around the table.
• Invite a group of guests who you know all get along well. Unless it’s family and you may not have a choice, lol! Just alert them ahead of time that you would like them all to be civil. If you are inviting couples, it’s best not to invite 3 couples who spend a lot of time together and one couple that doesn’t know anyone. Instead, invite 2 couples who you would like your guests to get to know better. That way, no one will feel left out.
• For a wedding shower, invite only those who are actually invited to the wedding. This may seem like a no-brainer, but I have witnessed someone being invited to the wedding shower and not the wedding before and they were a tad bit insulted.

2.  What are my host duties? 

• Invite everyone 2 weeks before the party date.
• Make sure you give everyone accurate directions. Check for any road closures or construction and make your guests aware of these. They’ll be in a better party move when they arrive if they didn’t have to take a detour they were unaware of.
• Make sure your house is presentable, especially areas like the bathroom, living area and kitchen. Your whole house doesn’t have to be spotless, but make sure the areas that your guests will be using are clean and presentable. Also, make sure there are at least 2 rolls of toilet paper and fresh hand towels in the bathroom.
• Introduce everyone to each other.
•  If your party is at night, turn on your porch light or a few inside lights that face the street.
• Give everyone a tour of your house and let them know where everything is so they will feel comfortable.
• Be sure and mingle with everyone. Make your rounds and make sure everyone has what they need.
• Let your guests know what will be going on during the party and the order of events. You may want to put this on the invitation.
• Clean up as the party is going on. Do not wash the dishes, but pick up trash and put dirty dishes in the sink (rinse if you’d like).
• It’s okay to ask your guests for help. Most guests like to be involved in the party and help when they can.
• Attend your own party. Make sure that you are not stuck in the kitchen the whole time. Plan well so that you can have fun too!

3. How long should I wait to start the party if some guests are late?

• As a rule of thumb, don’t wait longer than about 15-20 minutes. It’s not fair to the guests who showed up on time. If you are serving a meal at your party, be sure and make the guests aware of that ahead of time and how important it is to be on time so that the meal doesn’t get cold. No one likes a cold meal, unless it’s supposed to be served that way.

4. Smoking or non-smoking?

• If some of your guests do not smoke,  it will most likely be offensive to them. Let your smoking guests know where they may smoke. It may seem awkward at first to mention this, but they will appreciate it later when they need a smoke.

5. What do you do if the part is over and some guests won’t go home?

• Usually when you start cleaning up and putting away the food and drink, they will get the hint. If that doesn’t work try these phrases:
• “Would anyone like some coffee or snacks to take with them?”
• “Thank you for coming. I had a great time and can’t wait to do this again.”
• If you are really good friends with the guests, you can be completely honest with them and say, “Alright you party animals, it’s time for me to turn in. I hope you had a great time.”
• For a child’s birthday party, start handing out the goody bags. That’s usually a sign for everyone that the party is over.

There are actually many more etiquette questions that relate to each individual party type that I will cover as I talk about the different parties. These tips should help get you started in the right direction.

Ciao!