Potlucks & BYOB: Is It Tacky to Ask Others to Contribute
May 2, 2008 by Deborah Ng
Filed under Barbecues, Bring Your Own
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Dear Deb,
I’m a fan of all your blogs, but She Knows Parties really caught my eye because I love to socialize. My husband and I love to have parties all summer long on our patio. There are times when we lay out the whole spread but sometimes we do a potluck. I have a friend who likes to have barbecues but doesn’t drink and asks everyone to BYOB.
My sister says BYOBs and potlucks are tacky. What do you think?
Caryn M.
Hi Caryn,
I’m a big fan of potlucks. Don’t you just love sampling other people’s specialties? I went to a big Halloween party last fall and the hostess wrote on the invitation for people with an odd numbered address to bring appetizers and people with an even numbered address to bring desserts. She provided beverages and the main course.I loved this idea. Everyone brought something – and boy was there good food to be had! Plus there was more food because instead of the host making a few dishes, there was one from each guest.
I’ve never been asked to BYOB though I usually bring a bottle of wine along to parties and social events as a hostess gift. I see nothing wrong with asking guests to bring their own if the host and hostess don’t imbibe. I don’t think it’s necessary to have booze at every single party and barbecue, but if I’m not serving and the guests want to to tote their own, this doesn’t bother me.
I don’t think potlucks or BYOBs are tacky at all. There’s a saying, “never visit someone’s home empty handed.” These types of parties ensure that. Plus, it takes a lot of the pressure off the host and hostess and leaves them free to mingle with their guests and spend their time on other things.
What do you think, folks? Tacky or not?
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I don’t think that it’s tacky at all. I love potlucks because then you can sample a bunch of dishes. As for BYOB, I think that if you are going to a party, you should expect to have beverages there. By the way, who won the Hershey’s Bliss contest?
Definitely not tacky. Potlucks are great to host because I only have to cook the main dish, which frees me up to clean my house (or not), and I get to taste everyone else’s best dish, and there’s lots of variety. They’re great to attend because I get to show off my awesome potato salad/fudgy brownies/whatever.
I’m in college, so we’re totally BYOBooze. The host (or someone) should definitely supply liquid-things-to-put-in-the-mouth, but boozy drinks can get expensive for large gatherings.
Not at all! How odd! Among my friends it’s pretty much what every gathering has always been. I’m planning a bbq/potluck for my baby “shower” this month or next at a park.
I think that’s a great way to let people try new things and have a fun, less stress way to get together!
I don’t mind byob or potlucks. However, last fall I was invited to a potluck party and I didn’t go because it was a really busy time. I was working overtime and didn’t even have anything to throw together or time to pick something up before going. The people hostessing told me that I should have come anyway because there was plenty of food leftover. I think that’s the choice you make though, if you are not going to make something is it still okay to attend? The next time they invited me I did have something I could bring and I went.
Definitely NOT tacky! We often eat with the neighbors outside in our backyards. We love taking turns being in charge of salads, side dishes or dessert. Many times we gather around the fire pit and make s’mores, When we do that, it is usually BYOC…Bring your own chocolate and we alternate on who provides the marshmallows or graham crackers. Occasionally we will just make them with fudge stripe cookies and marshmallows. We always provide our own drinks. It is fun and a spring/summer/fall tradition for us.