love song to my tribe

February is often a dark and gloomy month here in my home town. Thank goodness for Valentine’s Day! With the King of Everything, I know I’ll never spend another sad and lonely V-Day again. But this Valentine’s card goes out to everyone who has enriched our lives, made us laugh, made us feel safe, loved, wanted.

It goes out to the network of women, mostly strangers, who promised me sight unseen that they would help me get back on my feet after I landed in the U.S. with $400, four suitcases, and a kid who was going to turn four in months. Families who gave me beds, dressers, tables, pots and pans, everything we needed to live the middle-class dream. To the single mother and her son who took us in and gave us shelter the first month and some we were here. To the kind and understanding men who stepped up and taught my son how to be strong and kind, loving and just, funny and respectful. To the teachers and the helpers who taught my child how to get along in the world without me.

This Valentine is to my parents, who love that kid more than anything else on Earth, and whose unquestioning faith in my ability to take care of my little family and do what’s best for us has carried me a long way through dark hours. To my mother, who has taught my child to see the world with a sense of the absurd, a sense of magic, and a keen vision for what is seldom seen. To my father, who has taught my son honor and responsibility, and all the words to the Junior Birdman song.

This Valentine is for those who have gone before us, and taught us so much about love. My grandmother and grandfather. My aunt. They live in our everyday existence, in the blankets my aunt made, in the jewelry my grandfather made, in the dolls and dishtowels and clothes my grandmother made.

And of course, this valentine is for you, the readers and supporters of SoloMother. Without you, this transition from scared, dispirited housewife to Director, mother, valiant defender of all things good and light, this lightfooted woman with song and light in her heart would not have come about as easily, or as swiftly.

Thank you, all you single mothers, single fathers, and happy families everywhere.