Avail us nothing…

I first published this last year. It remains true.
January 7th’s Reflection speaks of turning points. Sometimes they are beginnings and sometimes they are endings. I can understand that. I don’t like it but, then again, it doesn’t matter whether I like them or not, everything will unfold the way it was meant to.
Thy Will, Not Mine Be Done

Then their Higher Power opens new doors and provides new and better opportunities.
Of course it takes a bit of faith and some positive thinking to believe that. Negative thinking won’t make it work. Neither will ego and pride. Might just require a small amount of pain too.
From today’s Daily Reflection: “It was painful to give up trying to control my life, even though success eluded me, and when life got too rough, I drank to escape.”

A No-Coincidence Moment…
It wasn’t a “bot” that left the putrid, hate-filled, obscenity in the moderated comments yesterday that questioned my manhood and character assassinated my good soul. It was an idiot with a dark heart. Possibly related to me but I couldn’t tell.
It is my hope that you get the help that you so desperately need “ryan.” I certainly wouldn’t want to live in that brain of yours again or anymore. Been there, done that.
But, you see, my God helps me through moments like your stupidity – today’s Daily Reflection;

I think today’s Daily Reflections is one of those that has the capacity to enlarge your expectations…
Forming True Partnerships
“But it is from our twisted relations with family, friends, and society at large that many of us have suffered the most. We have been especially stupid and stubborn about them. The primary fact that we fail to recognize is our total inability to form a true partnership with another human being.”
Can these words apply to me, am I still unable to form a true partnership with another human being? What a terrible handicap that would be for me to carry into …read more

This one is personal… I do not mean to slight anyone who has lost a loved one. This is simply close to my heart and the hearts of a couple of my new friends in recovery, especially Linda H.
Yesterday I told you about a gal in New York who had 19 years clean in Narcotics Anonymous who was “back out there.” Her name was Lorraine. That’s right – was – and still is. Sadly, two members of her home group took on the task of having to identify Lorraine in the coroner’s office yesterday. She died from an overdose in …read more

The Serenity Prayer
GOD, grant me the serenity
to accept the things
I cannot change,
Courage to change the
things I can, and the
wisdom to know the difference.
Living ONE DAY AT A TIME;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardship as the
pathway to peace.
Taking, as He did, this
sinful world as it is,
not as I would have it.
Trusting that He will make
all things right if I
surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy
in this life, and supremely
happy with Him forever in
the next. Amen
Just mho, it never gets old and the repetition can’t hurt…

My challenge is that regardless of doing the right thing I cannot get my expectations up that the results will be what I want them to be.
Therein lies one of my realities. I can care about someone. The level at which I care can increase. I can recognize right from wrong. I can do the right thing not simply in my opinion but in the opinion of many trusted, experienced friends. And the results might not be, will probably not be, what I would want in my dreams.
Which brings me to aligning my will with God’s will.
“More often, though, we …read more

Alicia has posted a very serious and very helpful entry about “Suicide Warning Signs.”
This is one area where you darn well better do a Third Step after you’ve contacted authorities to let them know that your friend might be suicidal!
I’d much rather (and have been) feel grateful that my friend is still around to be PO’d at me for ratting them out than to be going to the funeral home for a viewing.
Of course, if you have a sponsor like I did he’ll spend the four hours you’re getting a psychiatric eval. out in the waiting room flirting with as …read more

Finding a balance between dependence and actually feeling emotions of attraction, then possibly love…
Is a challenge in the life of this alcoholic.
Thanks Oliver – your comment was right on point and contained a few lessons I had learned some time ago. I appreciate you putting them out there as a reminder to me and for everyone else to see.
Letting Go. It’s a concept understood with difficulty and practiced with labor, for me. It has assuredly gotten better! Thankfully. Allowing myself to feel love is a definite challenge because I know today I am a master of self-delusion. I can clear …read more

And I’ll waver in and out of it, dammit, because I have basic human instincts…
As I do so often – from “The Language of the Heart” page 237-238 (I ought to set up a cot on these pages)
“My basic flaw had always been dependence – almost absolute dependence – on people or circumstances to supply me with prestige, security, and the like.”
It’s that “and the like” stuff that gets me! Bill doesn’t talk about love, affection, attention, a feeling of worthiness, a feeling of being needed, in this area. “And the like.” He does speak of depression, which I am …read more