From Silkworth.net;

Tradition Eleven: Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion; we need always maintain personal anonymity at the level of press, radio, and films.

• Do I sometimes promote AA so fanatically that I make it seem unattractive?
• Am I always careful to keep the confidences reposed in me as an AA member?
• Am I careful about throwing AA names around – even within the Fellowship?
• Am I ashamed of being a recovered, or recovering, alcoholic?
• What would AA be like if we were not guided by the ideas in Tradition Eleven? Where would I be?
• Is my sobriety attractive enough that a sick drunk would want such a quality for himself?

Hmmmmm???

Post from: Blisstree

Tradition Eleven Checklist

Certainly we can all agree that there is no controversy surrounding this Tradition just like there is no controversy about “Conference Approved Literature” right?

Well, I thought it would be interesting to hear what the moderator at the AA History Lovers Group at Yahoo! has to say regarding “Attraction Rather Than Promotion;”

‘Might I say that Tradition Eleven, which says that “Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion,” is talking about maintaining PERSONAL ANONYMITY in ads and posters and so on.

It’s not saying you can’t do it, just that you should not put up a poster with a photo showing the face of a living AA member, and that person’s full name, as an advertisement for AA.

It is the same issue that shows up in the Twelve Steps & Twelve Traditions, pp. 147-149, in the story of Rule No. 62. Alcoholics tend sometimes to be “promoter” types who want to start grandiose projects with the alcoholic appearing in public as a “famous person” and having tons of money to spend, and with all sorts of other people running around doing all the work (while the alcoholic takes all the public credit).

The phrase about “attraction rather than promotion” is targeted at that same kind of egomaniacal, arrogant, bullying, power-mad alcoholic. We have enough problem with them already in AA committees, intergroup offices, and Area Assemblies, without letting them go public! Please spare us all from that!

But in old time AA, it certainly never meant that you could not put up notices, posters, ads, and so on. They even held public meetings (which were advertised in their local newspapers) where speakers (including clergy and judges and other people who were neither alcoholics themselves nor AA members) would talk about the AA program and how it could save people’s lives.’

Post from: Blisstree

Attraction Rather Than Promotion

For those profundity pushers who offer newcomers this phrase “do the right thing and the right thing will happen,” I want to say – for who? Because it is my experience that it is a matter of perspective whether this will hold true for you.

It might be that if you do the right thing, the right thing will happen – for someone else! The trap is coming to believe that if you do the right thing, the right thing will happen for you!

For ex., my biggest challenge personally – intimate relationships;

Attracted to a newcomer: the right thing is to leave the newcomer out of my personal world until the person has the opportunity to get and stay sober. You can be friends. I do the right thing and… no, that wasn’t meant to be. Okay, it’s okay…

Have a friend attempt a match-up with someone with long-term sober/clean time. Get silly, excited, even child-like. I do the right thing – maintain reasonable expectations, keep it in the day, stay in contact with HP, no forcing my will on anything. No matter, it wasn’t meant to be and I can’t say I’ll ever be happy with the way that ended. The lower power is a s******.

Again, have a friend attempt a match-up – this time with an “earthling” who is seemingly attracted in return. Shortest vision of all. Just a few days. Do the right thing, don’t get ahead of yourself, be a friend first, communicate. Once again, as if on cue, this wasn’t meant to be because I was simply an ends to a means i.e. had I been able to offer a ride on a motorcycle, this would have come to pass. Judged… and wrongly. The mistake? Misperceived the attraction.

There is not much more to these situations except to say that I put into effect lessons I had learned and did the right things. I suppose I developed an expectation that there might be a caring partner that H.P. thought I was worthy of. Not happening…

This is an example of my depression – and I’m still sober. Through anything, A.A. and my God, despite how I misunderstand Him, see to it that I don’t have to drink alcohol. What would that solve? Or – how much worse could I make life were I to pick up a drink? Not worth it…

Post from: Blisstree

Discouraged, Depressed, Sad, Lonely and Still Sober

Thank God Rick T. taught me one of life’s simple realities I had not learned, for whatever reason. He made the simple statement that each one of us has our own perception of reality. That your perception of reality and my perception of reality often would not match.

Since God graced me with sobriety I have been given many additional gifts. One of them is that my perception of reality has equality as its foundation. There are times when this gift turns to frustration and then I have control issues…

For ex., when “we” lay claim to the profundity that the newcomer in a meeting is the most important person in the room. That simply isn’t true. Not in my God’s eyes, nor ought it be in my eyes. Every single child of God is equally as important.

Another example is when someone with “forever” time sober, who, for whatever reason, is on a “mission” to inform recovery people of the history of Alcoholics Anonymous and its successes through the power of God – this person seems to believe they ought to be allowed special privileges that none other has. And when they don’t receive those privileges, they should be believed when they blame others for not allowing those privileges. That simply isn’t true either. (Please don’t mistake this – in no way, shape or form do I wish to diminish the “mission” this person has!)

But, we each have our own perception of reality. I cannot profess to understand why this person feels they ought to be placed above, thereby separated, from the rest of us. I do understand that we alcoholics have that tendency to separate ourselves from others. I surely do it. What I can understand is my propensity to take things personally. So, when that person says, publicly, they have avoided this site for what they proclaim to be some slight towards them, I become defensive.

I take a look at what they said again and again. I know what I have done and I know what they attempted to do. I see how they twist things to meet their needs – “supposed promotion and commentaries.” There was nothing at all “supposed” about it! But, that is my perception. They were too busy to notice emails or return phone calls. They are, after all, on a “mission.” They’re important… But, that is my perception.

Therefore, without communication, which I attempted in order to clear things up and come to a reasonable agreement as folks with the same end result as our motive, I find myself making decisions based only on what I have at hand. What I have at hand is nothing more than what I see as a promotional essay selling your book(s) that you want posted on this Blog without seeking approval. Your comment is not approved. The b5media network which owns this Blog offers advertising space for those who seek it and are willing to pay for it. If it were my personal Blog (and I own a few) the decision would be the same simply because I don’t go to the effort I do for you to gain free advertising for your new books through your commentary unless you and I have a prior agreement. It’s called respect.

I’m reminded of at least a couple of principles.

From page 53 in AA’s 12&12: “Our egomania digs two disastrous pitfalls. Either we insist upon dominating the people we know, or we depend upon them far too much.” and, from pages 180-181: “Our public relations policy is based on attraction rather than promotion… Considering this explosive factor, we knew we had to exercise self-restraint.”

[There are no coincidences. I struggled with this yesterday and this morning char made a comment on exactly the post I needed to re-read! Thanks char!]

Post from: Blisstree

Tormenting Ghosts

From page 91 in The Language of the Heart, written by Bill W. in October, 1948, about “Tradition Eleven”;

“Providence has been looking after the public relations of Alcoholics Anonymous. It can scarcely have been otherwise. Though we are more than a dozen years old, hardly a syllable of criticism or ridicule has ever been spoken of AA. Somehow we have been spared all the pains of medical or religious controversy and we have good friends both wet and dry, right and left. Like most societies, we are sometimes scandalous – but never yet in public. From all over the world, naught comes but keen sympathy and downright admiration. Our friends of the press and radio have outdone themselves. Anyone can see that we are in a fair way to be spoiled. Our reputation is already so much better than our actual character!”

Far be it from me to correct Bill eh? Yet it seems he was a bit overenthusiastic about this as there are many, many opponents to AA today, some extremely violent and punishingly evil.

Still;

“Surely these phenomenal blessings must have a deep purpose. Who doubts that this purpose wishes to let every alcoholic in the world know that AA is truly for him, can he only want his liberation enough. Hence, our messages through public channels have never been seriously discolored, nor has the searing breath of prejudice ever issued from anywhere.”

Sorry Bill, wrong again. But, the most important fact remains! The opponents haven’t done anything to diminish AA in the eyes of its true Creator, who really wasn’t Bill or Bob. That Creator has the power to supercede all the devilish claims and statements against AA because the Creator is all about Love. AA’s opponents are all about hate. They can never win…

Post from: Blisstree

You’re Eligible Too

“Who Is A Member Of Alcoholics Anonymous?”

How did they/do we, handle someone who is drunk at a meeting?

“If a member persists in coming to meetings drunk he may be led outside; we may ask someone to take him away. But in most groups he can come back next day, if sober. Though he may be thrown out of a club, nobody thinks of throwing him out of AA. He is a member as long as he says he is. While this broad concept of AA membership is not yet unanimous, it does represent the main current of AA thought today. We do not wish to deny anyone his chance to recover from alcoholism. We wish to be just as inclusive as we can, never exclusive.

Perhaps this trend signifies something much deeper than a mere change of attitude on the question of membership. Perhaps it means that we are losing all fear of those violent emotional storms which sometimes cross our alcoholic world; perhaps it bespeaks our confidence that every storm will be followed by a calm; a calm which is more understanding, more compassionate, more tolerant than any we ever knew before.”

Applied to a personal reality of the day, I can only hope that the ignoramus my boss attempted to mold me into this day is countered by and overcome by my own sober understanding of the truth about myself. If I could only tell her to her face “Don’t ask me to make such an incredibly ignorant decision that makes no sense to anyone but you. You’re wrong and you will eventually lose.” But I won’t say that to her face. You don’t know, so it is safe here… just part of “the story.”

The calm after the storm will eventually reveal itself and she’ll be part of my history.

Post from: Blisstree

The Calm After The Storm

Page 10 – #7; “As we mature in A.A., we generally become less fearful and rigid.”

I think this is a fine example of the debunking of a general, societal attitude that AA “thinks” it is the end all, be all to recovery. It says:

“Those of us blessed with recovery in A.A. need to remember that modesty will win more friends for A.A. than smugness, arrogance, or a know-it-all attitude. Saying “We know the only way to recovery” is an egotistical luxury we can no more afford than we can afford resentments.

However, shortly after we come into A.A. and begin to recover, we naturally feel great relief. We may find ourselves praised; within A.A., we begin to build a good reputation, which gradually replaces the shame of our drinking days.

This can easily turn into highly intense gratitude and loyalty to A.A. Then, almost before we know it, we may find ourselves sounding possessive and sensitive about A.A. – as if it were an exclusive society with a monopoly on the truth.

As recovery continues, we recall that thousands of us received aid from families and friends, a hospital or a clinic, a physician or a professional counselor. We realize that the boss who fired us, the relatives who scolded us, or the cop who warned us also helped us – helped us see we had a drinking problem.

We begin to outgrow our defensive possessiveness. With no less devotion to A.A., but without our former fanaticism, we start to lose our fear that some non-A.A. program or professional will usurp A.A.’s role, or take away our newly found pride, gratitude, and other good feelings. The longer we A.A. members stay sober, the more likely it is that we will say, “Anything that works toward recovery for the alcoholic is good, and this includes hospitals, rehabilitation centers, state or provincial alcoholism centers, religion, and psychiatry – as well as A.A.

Perhaps we become more ‘attractive’ examples of what A.A. can do, in line with our Tradition Eleven.”

Post from: Blisstree

Become Less Fearful And Rigid