From Silkworth.net ;

Tradition Two: For our group purpose there is but one ultimate authority—a loving GOD as HE may express Himself in our group conscience. Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern.

*****

• Do I criticize or do I trust and support my group officers, AA committees, and office workers? Newcomers? Old-timers?
• Am I absolutely trustworthy, even in secret, with AA Twelfth Step jobs or other AA responsibility?
• Do I look for credit in my AA jobs? Praise for my AA ideas?
• Do I have to save face in group discussion, or can I yield in good spirit to the group conscience and work cheerfully along with it?
• Although I have been sober a few years, am I willing to serve my turn at AA chores?
• In group discussions, do I sound off about matters on which I have no experience and little knowledge?

Wow - this is one topic I feel like I could write a book about How about you? Recognize any of this? I sure do…

Traditions Nine Checklist

Tradition Nine: AA, as such, ought never be organized; but we may create service boards or committees directly responsible to those they serve.

• Do I still try to boss things in AA?
• Do I resist formal aspects of AA because I fear them as authoritative?
• Am I mature enough to understand and use all elements of the AA program – even if no one makes me do so – with a sense of personal responsibility?
• Do I exercise patience and humility in any AA job I take?
• Am I aware of all those to whom I am responsible in any AA job?
• Why doesn’t every AA group need a constitution and bylaws?
• Have I learned to step out of an AA job gracefully – and profit thereby – when the time comes?
• What has rotation to do with anonymity? With humility?

Sooo - have you needlessly extended finished discussions? Do you perpetually attempt to continue to “get your point across?” When your fellows are sitting and squirming out of their chairs because the GSR meeting has been over for fifteen minutes and you’re still rambling, are you ignoring them? BTW - the next meeting is waiting for you to finish so they can conduct their normal meeting but you’re holding their meeting room hostage.

Perhaps you’ll remember that this Tradition says: “to those they serve” not vice versa…

Keep ‘em coming Alex! You’re making it easier for me

Following up on the “crosstalk” topic… we have an email written from a oldtime member of AA;

Date: Thurs, Aug 21 2008 4:22 pm
From: olemole

I’ve been around and sober for close to 37 years and so called crosstalk in one meeting is standard format in another all depends on the size and make up of the meeting. Cross talk is as old as AA.

On Aug 18, 8:52 am, Sottovoice wrote:

“I have to profess that I am not one who understands the detailed history of “cross talk” or what it really has to do with AA but I do know it didn’t exist as an idea until fairly recently (last 10 years or so). Today’s definition is one where someone shares on someone else’s share. It is tantamount to someone leading off their share with “I don’t want any feedback but…” That is appropriate if you feel that AA meetings are places to dump your stuff (There is a four letter word more descriptive but this is a family show) and split. If that is what you feel AA meetings to be it might be better to share that stuff with a sponsor instead.

But if I was to share in a meeting that I enjoyed drowning puppies in my spare time and saw no problem with that I would hope someone would let me know that sobriety isn’t measured by the drinks I didn’t take but by the spiritual life I need to live.

I’m sure there’ll be a couple of angry comments but if I want to go somewhere and dump there are better places to do that than an AA meeting. If I’m afraid that my comments won’t be well received I might save those comments for my sponsor - clearing my conscience at the expense of others and insisting that no one should say anything about it is a little arrogant and selfish. And, God forbid, it becomes fodder for the rumor mill - all the more reason it should be shared with a sponsor who may be able to give some valuable experience or direct you to someone who does.

Jim
The Into Action Group of Manhattan
DOS 8/8/80″

I’ll say it again - thanks God for those who’ve developed wisdom in its simplest terms.

From “Indelible Humility” printed in the Grapevine Dec. 1990 and reproduced at Silkworth.net. (pdf.)

Thanks again Alex…

“No look at anonymity as practiced by AA can be truly complete without including the question: is it possible for an AA member to be too anonymous? Too anonymous for the good of the individual and the Fellowship? The answer is ‘yes.’ And there are more than a few examples of this: members who feel they must not tell their families or their friends or coworkers or doctors or ministers or lawyers that they are members of AA.

There have even been instances when members have sent requests for information to the General Service Office in New York and not included a last name or have sent checks to GSO - unsigned.

There is indeed such a thing as an AA member being too anonymous: where it can mean failure to extend the helping hand when the need arises; where it can mean failure to correct misconceptions about AA both inside and outside the Fellowship; and where it can stifle - even stop - the flow of AA knowledge and sobriety from one person to another.

This is anonymity at the personal level and can indeed be carried too far - in Bill’s words - to ‘the point of real absurdity.’“

It might be a thought to note that “they” made provision for misconceptions early - both inside and outside of the Fellowship. Yes, they exist.

Is this about membership in Alcoholics Anonymous;

“Our membership ought to include all who suffer alcoholism. Hence we may refuse none who wish to recover. Nor ought AA membership ever depend on money or conformity. Any two or three alcoholics gathered together for sobriety may call themselves an AA group.“

“This clearly implies that an alcoholic is a member if he says so; that we can’t deny him membership; that we can’t demand from him a cent; that we can’t force our beliefs or practices on him; that he may flout everything we stand for and still be a member. In fact, our (3rd) Tradition carries the principle of independence for the individual to such an apparently fantastic length that, so long as there is the slightest interest in sobriety, the most unmoral, the most antisocial, the most critical alcoholic may gather about him a few kindred spirits and announce to us that a new Alcoholics Anonymous group has been formed.”

From The Language of the Heart, page 32.

When we tell them they are the most important person in the room? Do we think these people don’t recognize our humanity? What do they see?

Consider one simple thought - they don’t see time, time sober. They begin to hear that but did you understand it in the beginning? Most of these folks sitting in their first few meetings (at least in our area) don’t even understand that we practice abstaining from drinking alcohol much less recognize what we’re about. What they see is a room full of unknown faces with unknown quantity/quality. That’s all.

So we tell them they’re the most important person in the room? Important relative to what? In what manner are they important? How do they understand their importance? Heck, they probably came in believing they were better than us anyway. After all, aren’t we the dregs of the earth and now they’re sitting with us? How does it feel to have the lowest of low tell you your the most important of the lowest of low?

Read more

From Alcoholics Anonymous;

Facts about anonymity in A.A.

It is not the media’s responsibility to maintain our Traditions; it is our own individual responsibility.

• A.A. members generally think it unwise to break the anonymity of a member even after his or her death, but in each situation, the final decision must rest with the family.
• A.A. members may disclose their identity and speak as recovered alcoholics, giving radio, TV and Internet interviews, without violating the Traditions — so long as their A.A. membership is not revealed.
• A.A. members may speak as A.A. members only if their names or faces are not revealed. They speak not for A.A. but as individual members.
  

Experience suggests that A.A. members:

• Respect the right of other members to maintain their own anonymity at whatever levels they wish.
• When speaking as A.A. members at non-A.A. meetings, usually use first names only.
• Maintain personal anonymity in articles and autobiographies.
• Avoid the use of titles such as “A.A. counselor” when employed as professionals in the field of alcoholism (the title “alcoholism counselor” is preferred).
• Use last names within the Fellowship, especially for election of group officers and other service jobs.

Please - don’t let anyone chase you out of a meeting - your life is at stake!

From Alcoholics Anonymous;

Some questions and answers about anonymity

Personal anonymity

Q. After I tell my loved ones about my A.A. membership, should I ask them not to disclose this information to anyone else?
A. This is entirely a personal matter, but it is usually best for all concerned to let the A.A. member decide who shall be told and when.

Q. If relatives, friends, and business associates comment on my improved appearance and functioning after I become sober, should I tell them I’m in A.A.?
A. Members of the immediate family and close friends are usually pleased to learn about an alcoholic’s membership in A.A. As for business associates, it might be best simply to say that you’ve stopped drinking and postpone decision about disclosing your membership until after you have been in the Fellowship for several months.

Read more

Often questioned…

From Alcoholics Anonymous;

Understanding Anonymity

“Anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all our Traditions, ever reminding us to place principles before personalities.”

What is the purpose of anonymity in Alcoholics Anonymous? Why is it often referred to as the greatest single protection the Fellowship has to assure its continued existence and growth?

If we look at the history of A.A., from its beginning in 1935 until now, it is clear that anonymity serves two different yet equally vital functions:

• At the personal level, anonymity provides protection for all members from identification as alcoholics, a safeguard often of special importance to newcomers.
• At the level of press, radio, TV, films and new media technologies such as the Internet, anonymity stresses the equality in the Fellowship of all members by putting the brake on those who might otherwise exploit their A.A. affiliation to achieve recognition, power, or personal gain.

Please visit the link above and read the rest

An alcoholic isn’t finished without more -> Some questions and answers about anonymity, Facts about anonymity in A.A.

From the AA web site and AA Guidelines;

A.A.’s Debt of Gratitude to Al-Anon

The following resolution of gratitude to the Fellowship of the Al-Anon Family Groups was unanimously approved by the 1969 General Service Conference of Alcoholics Anonymous.

The delegates of this, the 19th General Service Conference of Alcoholics Anonymous, meeting in official session in New York City, this 25th day of April, 1969, do hereby declare:

WHEREAS, it is the desire of this Conference to confirm the relationship between Alcoholics Anonymous and the Al-Anon Family Groups, and

WHEREAS, it is the further desire of this Conference to acknowledge A.A.’s debt of gratitude to the Al-Anon Family Groups, therefore,

BE IT RESOLVED, that Alcoholics Anonymous recognizes the special relationship which it enjoys with the Al-Anon Family Groups, a separate but similar fellowship. And be it further resolved that Alcoholics Anonymous wishes to recognize, and hereby does recognize, the great contribution which the Al-Anon Family Groups have made and are making in assisting the families of alcoholics everywhere.

Rick taught me that I belonged in Al-Anon as well as AA. Many of us do. Growing up in a family with an active alcoholic (I believe my father was though I won’t make the diagnosis) causes damage which Al-Anon can heal, from the inside.