Borrowed from last year;

Constant = Unchanged, Consistently recurring over time, persistent…

Page 20: “Our very lives, as ex-problem drinkers, depend upon our constant thought of others and how we may help meet their needs.”

Page 73: “But they had not learned enough of humility, fearlessness and honesty, in the sense we find it necessary, until they told someone all their story… He is under constant fear and tension – that makes for more drinking.”

Page 155: “He told me how he lived in constant worry about those who might find out about his alcoholism.”

Recovery from a hopeless state of mind and body remains a “do what you don’t want to do” program. The Promises will materialize if we work for them!

Post from: Blisstree

Nothing Changes If Nothing Changes 2009

I first published this last year. It remains true.

January 7th’s Reflection speaks of turning points. Sometimes they are beginnings and sometimes they are endings. I can understand that. I don’t like it but, then again, it doesn’t matter whether I like them or not, everything will unfold the way it was meant to.

Thy Will, Not Mine Be Done

My shortcomings also tempt me daily; therefore I also have the same opportunities as the reflections’ writer to become aware of them. In one form or another – self-condemnation will rear its ugly head. I make a mistake and the very first thought is “You stupid A**.” Anger seemingly always jumps up to be recognized. It is self-delusional for me to continue to regret the past and what happened with my relationships, my family. Yet it continues to deepen some level of anger within as it remains unfinished with my children.

Running away is not one that haunts me anymore. Rick taught me (and many others) that I am now able to go through my fears rather than avoid them. Being prideful often flip flops into feeling inferior which causes balance to remain a struggle. Wanting to get even has its moments. When my spirituality isn’t up to snuff and I am feeling lonely, abandoned, distraught or depressed, I get the feeling I want to get even but it is wiped out by knowing today that it simply won’t happen so no need to bother. Acting out of grandiosity? Nope, not part of my character.

The statement the writer makes about attempting half measures to eliminate these defects merely paralyzing his efforts to change is true for me too. It has got to be either all, or nothing at all, and I know without a shadow of doubt that nothing at all will get me grave yard dead. Half measures won’t get me half drunk either. Half measures will get me full on, falling down, sh**-faced, blacked out!

Thus, – it is with complete abandon I place myself in God’s hands, embracing His help and somehow believing He has my best interests at heart because He loves me unconditionally. Else, why would I be sober today, now…

[picture credit]

Post from: Blisstree

Half Measures

There are far more than Twelve Promises written in the Big Book “Alcoholics Anonymous.”

This is a listing of only those relating to the First Step (please, some may be a stretch – utilize, don’t analyze);

First Step Promises:

1. How many thousands of men and women have recovered from alcoholism. (Title page).

2. Who have recovered from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body. (foreword 1st edition xiii)

3. To show other alcoholics precisely how we have recovered is the main purpose of this book. (foreword 1st edition xiii)

4. We are sure that our way of living has its advantages for all. (foreword 1st edition xiii)

5. Our earliest printing voiced the hope -that every alcoholic who journeys will find the Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous at his destination (foreword 2nd edition xv)

6. It also indicated that strenuous work, one alcoholic with another, was vital to permanent recovery (xvii)

7. A.A.’s had to hang together or die separately. We had to unify our Fellowship or pass off the scene.(xix)

8. Today the remarkable unity of A.A. is one of the greatest assets that our Society has.(xix)

9. It is our great hope that all those who have as yet found no answer may begin to find one in the pages of this book and will presently join us on the highroad to a new freedom. (xxi)

10. …recovery begins when one alcoholic talks with another alcoholic, sharing experience, strength, and hope. (xxii)

11. We who have suffered alcoholic torture must believe that the body of the alcoholic is quite as abnormal as his mind (xxiv)

12. We are sure that our bodies were sickened as well. (xxiv)

13. We work out our solution on the spiritual as well as an altruistic plane. (xxiv)

14. Once a psychic change has occurred, the very same person who seemed doomed, who had so many problems he despaired of ever solving them, suddenly finds himself easily able to control his desire for alcohol, the only effort necessary being that required to follow a few simple rules. (xxvii)

15. There are many situations which arise out of the phenomenon of craving which cause men to make the supreme sacrifice rather than continue to fight. (xxviii)

16. I was soon to be catapulted into what I like to call the fourth dimension of existence. I was to know happiness, peace, and usefulness, in a way of life that is incredibly more wonderful as time passes. (8:2)

17. I would enter upon a new relationship with my Creator; that I would have the elements of a way of living which answered all my problems. Belief in the power of God, plus enough willingness, honesty and humility to establish and maintain the new order of things, were the essential requirements. (13:5)

18. For if an alcoholic failed to perfect and enlarge his spiritual life through work and self-sacrifice for others, he could not survive the certain trials and low spots ahead. If he did not work, he would surely drink again, and if he drank, he would surely die. Then faith would be dead indeed. With us it is just like that. (14:6)

19. It is a design for living that works in rough going. (15:1)

20. The joy of living we really have, even under pressure and difficulty. (15:2)

21. There is scarcely any form of trouble and misery which has not been overcome among us. (15:2)

22. I have seen hundreds of families set their feet in the path that really goes somewhere; have seen the most impossible domestic situations righted; feuds and bitterness of all sorts wiped out. I have seen men come out of asylums and resume a vital place in the lives of their families and communities. Business and professional men have regained their standing. (15:2)

23. There is, however, a vast amount of fun about it all. I suppose some would be shocked at our seeming worldliness and levity. But just underneath there is deadly earnestness. Faith has to work twenty-four hours a day in and through us, or we perish. (16:2)

24. Most of us feel we need look no further for Utopia. We have it with us right here and now. Each day my friend’s simple talk in our kitchen multiplies itself in a widening circle of peace on earth and good will to men. (16:3)

25. …there exists among us a fellowship, a friendliness, and an understanding which is indescribably wonderful. (17:2)

26. Our joy in escape from disaster does not subside as we go our individual ways. (17:2)

27. The feeling of having shared in a common peril is one element in the powerful cement which binds us… The tremendous fact for every one of us is that we have discovered a common solution. We have a way out on which we can absolutely agree, and upon which we can join in brotherly and harmonious action. This is the great news this book carries to those who suffer from alcoholism. (17:2)

28. An illness of this sort-and we have come to believe it an illness-involves those about us in a way no other human sickness can. (18:1)

29. For with it (the alcoholic illness) there goes annihilation of all the things worth while in life. It engulfs all whose lives touch the sufferer’s. It brings misunderstanding, fierce resentment, financial insecurity, disgusted friends and employers, warped lives of blameless children, sad wives and parents-anyone can increase the list. (18:1)

30. Most of us sense that real tolerance of other people’s shortcomings and viewpoints and a respect for their opinions are attitudes which make us more useful to others. Our very lives, as ex-problem drinkers, depend upon our constant thought of others and how we may help meet their needs. (19:4)

31. The alcoholic reacts differently from normal people. We are not sure why, once a certain point is reached, little can be done for him. We cannot answer the riddle. We know that while the alcoholic keeps away from drink, as he may do for months or years, he reacts much like other men. We are equally positive that once he takes any alcohol whatever into his system, something happens, both in the bodily and mental sense, which makes it virtually impossible for him to stop. (22:3)

32. The main problem of the alcoholic centers in his mind, rather than in his body. (23:1)

33. At a certain point in the drinking of every alcoholic, he passes into a state where the most powerful desire to stop drinking is of absolutely no avail. (24:0)

34. The fact is that most alcoholics, for reasons yet obscure, have lost the power of choice in drink. Our so-called will power becomes practically nonexistent. We are unable, at certain times, to bring into our consciousness with sufficient force the memory of the suffering and humiliation of even a week or a month ago. We are without defense against the first drink. (24:1)

35. There is a solution. (25:1)

36. We saw that it really worked in others. (25:1)

37. We have found much of heaven and we have been rocketed into a fourth dimension of existence of which we had not even dreamed. (25:1)

38. The central fact of our lives today is the absolute certainty that our Creator has entered into our hearts and lives in a way which is indeed miraculous. He has commenced to accomplish those things for us which we could never do by ourselves. (25:2)

39. A new life has been given us or, if you prefer, “a design for living” that really works. (28:2)

40. All of us, whateverour race, creed, or color are the children of a living Creator with whom we may form a relationship upon simple and understandable terms as soon as we are willing and honest enough to try. (28:3)

41. The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker. (30:1)

42. We alcoholics are men and women who have lost the ability to control our drinking. We know that no real alcoholic ever recovers control. All of us felt at times that we were regaining control, but such intervals-usually brief-were inevitably followed by still less control, which led in time to pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization. We are convinced to a man that alcoholics of our type are in the grip of a progressive illness. Over any considerable period we get worse, never better. (30:3)

43. To be gravely affected, one does not necessarily have to drink a long time nor take the quantities some of us have. This is particularly true of women. Potential female alcoholics often turn into the real thing and are gone beyond recall in a few years. (33:3)

44. The actual or potential alcoholic, with hardly an exception, will be absolutely unable to stop drinking on the basis of self-knowledge. (39:1)

45. That if I had an alcoholic mind, the time and place would come-I would drink again. (41:2)

46. I saw that will power and self-knowledge would not help in those strange mental blank spots. (42:0)

47. The program of action, though entirely sensible, was pretty drastic (42:0)

48. Most alcoholics have to be pretty badly mangled before they really commence to solve their problems. (43:1)

49. The alcoholic at certain times has no effective mental defense against the first drink. Except in a few rare cases, neither he nor any other human being can provide such a defense. His defense must come from a Higher Power. (43:3)

50. If he is an alcoholic of the hopeless variety. To be doomed to an alcoholic death or to live on a spiritual basis are not always easy alternatives to face. (44:2)

51. We had to face the fact that we must find a spiritual basis of life -or else. (44:3)

52. Our human resources, as marshalled by the will, were not sufficient; they failed utterly. (45:0)

53. Lack of power, that was our dilemma. We had to find a power by which we could live, and it had to be a Power greater than ourselves.(45:1)

[edited to bring this post into 2009]

Post from: Blisstree

First Step Promises

Greetings On Our 10th Christmas

1944

Yes, it’s in the air! The spirit of Christmas once more warms this poor distraught world. Over the whole globe millions are looking forward to that one day when strife can be forgotten, when it will be remembered that all human beings, even the least are loved by God, when men will hope for the coming of the Prince of Peace as they never hoped before.

But there is another world which is not poor. Neither is it distraught. It is the world of Alcoholics Anonymous, where thousands dwell happily and secure. Secure because each of us, in his own way, knows a greater power who is love, who is just, and who can be trusted.

Nor can men and women of AA ever forget that only through suffering did they find enough humility to enter the portals of that New World.

How privileged we are to understand so well the divine paradox that strength rises from weakness, that humiliation goes before resurrection; that pain is not only the price but the very touchstone of spiritual rebirth.

Knowing it’s full worth and purpose, we can no longer fear adversity, we have found prosperity where there was poverty, peace and joy have sprung out of the very midst of chaos.

Great indeed, our blessings!

And so — Merry Christmas to you all — from the Trustees, from Bobbie and from Lois and me.

Bill Wilson

[Source]

Post from: Blisstree

Bill and Lois’ Christmas Message, 1944

Page 113;

“We temporarily cease to grow because we feel satisfied that there is no need for all of A.A.’s Twelve Steps for us. We are doing fine on a few of them, the First Step and that part of the Twelfth where we “carry the message.” In A.A. slang, that blissful state is known as ‘two-stepping.’ And it can go on for years.

The best intentioned of us can fall for the ‘two-step’ illusion. Sooner or later the pink cloud stage will wear off and things go disappointingly dull. We begin to think that A.A. doesn’t pay off after all. We become puzzled and discouraged.

Then perhaps life, as it has a way of doing, suddenly hands us a great big lump that we can’t begin to swallow, let alone digest. We fail to get a worked-for promotion. We lose that good job. Maybe there are serious domestic or romantic difficulties, or perhaps that boy we thought God was looking after becomes a military casualty.”

I.E. the realities of life jump up and bite us in the a**! And if we’re not fully centered, or grounded, in the Twelve Steps, chances are we’ll drink again.

If you’re part of the “gang” who’s out there trying to convince newcomers that they can stay sober based on service work before they’re versed in the Twelve Steps, stop it, then go back and fix what you’ve done.

“But obviously you cannot transmit something you haven’t got.”

Post from: Blisstree

Two-Stepping

One such moment occurred in the last day or so when I “listened” to a fellow alcoholic share in a general way and use words that offer someone whose seen them before, some intuitive insight that this person wasn’t quite right emotionally.

Not knowing definitively that she wasn’t right presented the requirement that a question be asked and it was. The reason the question was asked was stated. The question was asked in a manner which was hoped to be understood. In the realities of life, it wasn’t received well. Actually understandable because the consideration was on target.

I won’t go into any more details. What transpired after this is what wasn’t understandable. That was the judgment without evidence that too many people offered up as defense for someone who didn’t need it. The vilification of another good person simply because a few folks couldn’t be bothered with taking the time to read what had been asked or take the time to understand or lacked the insight.

Sad.

Since when did it become the wrong thing to do to ask someone whether they were okay or not? That is what your comments after the fact did – made it some level of sin to have asked if another alkie was all right or having a problem.

It is my opinion, FWIW, that there are a number of people that might want to give serious consideration to speaking with their sponsors – soon! It is also my opinion that if this is some kind of change in the program of recovery – it sucks and eventually will kill someone!

Have a good evening and please stay sober…

Post from: Blisstree

A Change For The Worse?

Folks, please, if you find yourself in meetings where there is someone who never shares until the end of the meeting and then begins their sharing with “During this meeting I have observed blah, blah, blah,” then offers up some magnificent wisdom based on a few years away from a drink, that is a certain example of something you’ll want to leave there and take the rest. You might want to run it past your sponsor especially if it sounds like it applies to your case.

On the same thought – if you are approached by anyone, in a meeting environment, who promotes themselves to you as some form of “addictionologist” or therapist, please, I beg you, do your due diligence to discover everything you’d need to know about this “professional” before you accept a diagnosis or prescriptions from one. Get references, Google them, ask around, use whatever resources are available to determine that the person is someone you can trust your life, your physical well-being or your mental well-being to.

We had one of these here a couple of years ago. He came from Texas and managed to gather quite a few of our members as clients before he was discovered to have been run out of Texas and his credentials were bogus. It is possible he is in Florida now. Be alert – remember, constant vigilance is the watch word.

Post from: Blisstree

It’s My Observation…

The neighbors say “good morning,” the boss says “good morning,” people smile at you as they pass by. The young lady at the coffee shop has a kind greeting for you.

It seems as if you’re not raising your middle finger to other drivers nor they to you. You have extra time when you arrive at work. You have extra time when you arrive home.

Your grades are better.

You feel a part of life again. The birds’ chirping isn’t irritating today. The wind in the air doesn’t matter to your hairdo. It isn’t a chore to open your umbrella to walk through the rain. Flowers smell good again.

You can go to a bar alone and hang out and not pick up a drink. Play darts or pool. Yeah – even when that moment comes, when an old colleague walks in and asks “how about a quick one,” you stand firm and say “no.”

Then, at night, you come to your home group and tell us how wonderful you’re doing with this sobriety thing. Sounds like you want a pat on the back. You’re not getting it!

Think its cold? Consider for a brief moment all the damage you did during those years of destructive drinking. Consider for a moment that that was not the way your Creator made you. Consider that now, you are simply doing what your Creator had intended you to be doing. And give the credit where it belongs. Remember – you had place yourself beyond human aid. It took an Act of Providence to be sober. On your own, you’d no doubt still be drunk.

Post from: Blisstree

What Pat On The Back?

Yet, its at work now that I have been given the opportunity to watch someone who is keeping it green for me. He simply cannot, will not, whatever – stop drinking. All day, every day, through the night into the morning and so on and so on. At 9:15 am he has been unable to string two coherent words together to make a sensible comment over the phone and his workers are telling him to stay home. He owns the business!

Which brings to my mind one of the profundity pushers’ statements that will absolutely not work for me!

“I do a fearless, thorough, First Step every morning.”

I’m an alcoholic 100%, 100% of the time. I must live the First Step 24/7/365. Including when I’m at sleep. Sleep is not a cure for my alcoholism! It doesn’t go away overnight and then return each morning.

I must live this or I will die…

Post from: Blisstree

This Would Not Work For Me

Joe said: “The message that I carry is AA’s message. 12 steps which guarantee a spiritual awakening to be the result. My obligation is to try to share my experience with those twelve steps with other Alcoholics and to practice the 12 disciplines in all my affairs. Most important to me is that I be cognisant that this is AA’s program and AA’s steps! Not mine! My program is what brought me to AA! One path of steps which provide access to power. I do not gain power through the steps I gain access to power. All twelve steps, all day, everyday for a lifetime, to the best of my ability. This is not a program where I came to “not drink” one day at a time; it is a prgram, a design for living, that enables me to live one day at a time! That is the message I try to carry.”

Which really does work for me.

Jo said: “The message I attempt to carry is the program as outlined in the Big Book, found in the first 164, as filtered though my experience, strength and hope over the last 18 years.”

Which certainly also works for me. What I’d very much like to pass on to those who’ve begun reading here after those posts last year is what your perception is of what message we carry as sober members of Alcoholics Anonymous.

What Is “The Message?”

Post from: Blisstree

Let’s Try Again – What Is “The Message?”