I’m going to take a few liberties with some of A.A.’s literature…
From pages 32-33 in the 12&12;
“To clergymen, doctors, friends, and families, the loveaholic who means well and tries hard is a heartbreaking riddle. To most L.A.’s, he/she is not. There are too many of us who have been just like him/her, and have found the riddle’s answer. The answer has to do with the quality of faith rather than its quantity. This has been our blind spot. We supposed we had humility when we really hadn’t. We supposed we had been serious about religious practices when, upon honest appraisal, …read more

Avail us nothing…

I first published this last year. It remains true.
January 7th’s Reflection speaks of turning points. Sometimes they are beginnings and sometimes they are endings. I can understand that. I don’t like it but, then again, it doesn’t matter whether I like them or not, everything will unfold the way it was meant to.
Thy Will, Not Mine Be Done

From page 81 in AA’s 12&12;
“Such gross misbehavior is not by any means a full catalogue of the harms we do. Let us think of some of the subtler ones which can sometimes be quite as damaging. Suppose that in our family lives we happen to be miserly, irresponsible, callous, or cold. Suppose that we are irritable, critical, impatient, and humorless. Suppose we lavish attention upon one member of the family and neglect the others.”
Through the years I’ve watched my share of alcoholics who’ve, unfortunately, allowed themselves to return to selfishness and self-centeredness. In quite a few instances these folks …read more

Then their Higher Power opens new doors and provides new and better opportunities.
Of course it takes a bit of faith and some positive thinking to believe that. Negative thinking won’t make it work. Neither will ego and pride. Might just require a small amount of pain too.
From today’s Daily Reflection: “It was painful to give up trying to control my life, even though success eluded me, and when life got too rough, I drank to escape.”

I think today’s Daily Reflections is one of those that has the capacity to enlarge your expectations…
Forming True Partnerships
“But it is from our twisted relations with family, friends, and society at large that many of us have suffered the most. We have been especially stupid and stubborn about them. The primary fact that we fail to recognize is our total inability to form a true partnership with another human being.”
Can these words apply to me, am I still unable to form a true partnership with another human being? What a terrible handicap that would be for me to carry into …read more

My challenge is that regardless of doing the right thing I cannot get my expectations up that the results will be what I want them to be.
Therein lies one of my realities. I can care about someone. The level at which I care can increase. I can recognize right from wrong. I can do the right thing not simply in my opinion but in the opinion of many trusted, experienced friends. And the results might not be, will probably not be, what I would want in my dreams.
Which brings me to aligning my will with God’s will.
“More often, though, we …read more

Alicia has posted a very serious and very helpful entry about “Suicide Warning Signs.”
This is one area where you darn well better do a Third Step after you’ve contacted authorities to let them know that your friend might be suicidal!
I’d much rather (and have been) feel grateful that my friend is still around to be PO’d at me for ratting them out than to be going to the funeral home for a viewing.
Of course, if you have a sponsor like I did he’ll spend the four hours you’re getting a psychiatric eval. out in the waiting room flirting with as …read more

Finding a balance between dependence and actually feeling emotions of attraction, then possibly love…
Is a challenge in the life of this alcoholic.
Thanks Oliver – your comment was right on point and contained a few lessons I had learned some time ago. I appreciate you putting them out there as a reminder to me and for everyone else to see.
Letting Go. It’s a concept understood with difficulty and practiced with labor, for me. It has assuredly gotten better! Thankfully. Allowing myself to feel love is a definite challenge because I know today I am a master of self-delusion. I can clear …read more

But the Daily Reflection for October 9th holds true today as it does each day…
A Spiritual Axiom
“It is a spiritual axiom that every time we are disturbed, no matter what the cause, there is something wrong with us.”
In the body of the person’s response in the Daily Reflection they say this;
“Feelings come from inside, not from outward circumstances. When my spiritual condition is positive, I react positively.”
On page 90 in the 12&12, speaking about the spiritual axiom and anger, it says;
“Few people have been more victimized by resentments than have we alcoholics. It mattered little whether our resentments were justified …read more

I had been clearly defiant to those around me when I was a child (not drinking), later on once I had begun to drink, and as an adult because by then I was a walking, talking attitude case.
I didn’t see it, they did. And they told me. When they told me, it pi**ed me off. Then I became more defiant. Eventually, some mere mention of it would twist my gut into instant anger.
Had they also mentioned that I was defying God I think I might have really lost it. He was my last and only hope – but – He …read more