It seems like this months Daily Reflections are more on target, for me, than most other months. What today’s actually speaks to my mind is: “Count Your Blessings, Not Your Troubles”

“One exercise that I try to practice is to try for a full inventory of my blessings…”

“What did I have to be grateful for? I shut myself up and started listing the blessings for which I was in no way responsible, beginning with having been born of sound mind and body.”

Well, maybe he was born with a sound mind lol.

“I went through seventy-four years of living right up to the present moment. The list ran to two pages, and took two hours to compile; I included health, family, money, A.A. – the whole gamut.”

Instantly, I’m also grateful! I have a long way to go before I’d have to go through 74 years! Of course, family and money are still sticky issues for me and might not make it to the list, for now.

“Every day in my prayers, I ask God to help me remember my list, and to be grateful for it throughout the day. When I remember my gratitude list, it’s very hard to conclude that God is picking on me.”

God picking on me was one of those “overriding” states of mind I once had. Convinced there was something wrong with me that was hopelessly beyond repair. Thank God for AA.

Post from: Blisstree

God Isn’t Picking On Me?

The Daily Reflection for May 20th and a direct quote from “As Bill Sees It” – One Day At A Time

“Above all, take it one day at a time.”

How about that? Amazing…

“Why do I kid myself that I must stay away from a drink for only one day, when I know perfectly well I must never drink again as long as I live?”

Phew! That’s a heck of a question, isn’t it?

“I am not kidding myself because one day at a time is probably the only way I can reach the long-range objective of staying sober.”

And that is a perfectly sensible and wise answer, certainly not middle-of-the-road psycho-babble… followed by;

“If I determine that I shall never drink again as long as I live, I set myself up. How can I be sure I won’t drink when I have no idea what the future may hold?”

One more sensible question.

“On a day-at-a-time basis, I am confident I can stay away from a drink for one day. So I set out with confidence. At the end of the day, I have the reward of achievement. Achievement feels good and that makes me want more!”

One more damn good answer – from our literature!

Post from: Blisstree

One Day At A Time

Giving Without Strings

“And he well knows that his own life has been made richer, as an extra dividend of giving to another without any demand for a return.”

If you might be living with a belief that you did what it took to direct sobriety in AA your way, you might want to pass on this…

I had place myself beyond human aid. It took an Act of Providence for me to receive the gift of sobriety. I believe that.

When I honestly take a look at this I find that I did absolutely nothing to be deemed qualified. I wasn’t praying to get sober, someone else was, for me. I wasn’t doing anything that would give anyone the indication I was ready or willing to change. I was doing the opposite. Sobriety came my way. By the grace of God and those prayers.

Grace is an unmerited gift. Since grace is an unmerited gift I am now required (the way I feel) to live in a manner that shows that I can no longer live on a reward system. If I do something good for someone I best not think some reward is due me! Now, I am simply doing what God had originally intended for me to be doing, without strings attached, in His name.

As the reading says;

“When my life is full of a loving God of my understanding and I give that love to my fellow alcoholic, I feel a special richness that is hard to explain.”

Post from: Blisstree

No Strings Attached

We’ve seen the First Step Promises, the Second Step Promises, , the Third Step Promises, and the Fourth Step Promises, now here are the Fifth Step Promises from the AA History Lovers Group at Yahoo!

1. In actual practice, we usually find a solitary self-appraisal insufficient. (72:2)

2. If we skip this vital step, we may not overcome drinking. (72:2)

3. They took inventory all right, but hung on to some of the worst items in stock. They only thought they had lost their egoism and fear; they only thought they had humbled themselves. But they had not learned enough of humility, fearlessness and honesty, in the sense we find it necessary, until they told someone else all their life story. (73:0)

4. We must be entirely honest with somebody if we expect to live long or happily in this world. (73:4)

5. Once we have taken this step, withholding nothing, we are delighted. (75:2)

6. We can look the world in the eye. (75:2)

7. We can be alone at perfect peace and ease. (75:2)

8. Our fears fall from us. (75:2)

9. We begin to feel the nearness of our Creator. (75:2)

10. We may have had certain spiritual beliefs, but now we begin to have a spiritual experience. (75:2)

11. The feeling that the drink problem has disappeared will often come strongly. (75:2)

12. We feel we are on the Broad Highway, walking hand in hand with the Spirit of the Universe. (75:2)

There won’t be any next month – there aren’t any Sixth Step Promises

[Edited and brought into the now, 2008]

Post from: Blisstree

Fifth Step Promises

From page 57 in the 12&12;

“Almost without exception, alcoholics are tortured by loneliness. Even before our drinking got bad and people began to cut us off, nearly all of us suffered the feeling that we didn’t quite belong. Either we were shy, and dared not draw near others, or we were apt to be noisy good fellows craving attention and companionship, but never getting it – at least to our way of thinking. There was always that mysterious barrier we could neither surmount nor understand. It was as if we were actors on a stage, suddenly realizing that we did not know a single line of our parts. That’s one reason we loved alcohol too well. It did let us act extemporaneously. But even Bacchus boomeranged on us; we were finally struck down and left in terrified loneliness.”

Take a good look at this dude…

That’s our boy!

Dionysus, otherwise known as Bacchus. Here’s some talk about him;

“Walt Disney has depicted the character on a number of occasions. The first such portrayal of Dionysus was in the “Pastoral” segment of Walt Disney’s 3rd classic Fantasia. He is portrayed as an overweight drunk man who rides a drunken donkey; wears a tunic and cloak, and grape leaves on his head; and carries a goblet of wine. He is friends with the fauns and centaurs, and is shown celebrating a harvest festival. Other portrayals have appeared in both the Disney movie and spin-off TV series of Hercules. He was depicted as an overweight drunkard as opposed to his youthful descriptions in myths. He has bright pink skin and rosy red cheeks hinting at his drunkenness. He always carries either a bottle or glass of wine in his hand, and like in the myths, wears a wreath of grape leaves upon his head. He is known by his roman name in the series ‘Bacchus’, and in one episode headlines his own festival known as the ‘Bacchanal’.”

Geez – he went so far that he wore a wreath of grape leaves on his head? Yeah, he was one of us

[This image has been (or is hereby) released into the public domain by its author, Ryan Freisling at the English Wikipedia project. This applies worldwide.]

Post from: Blisstree

Bacchus Boomeranged On Us

From today’s Daily Reflection;

“Whatever is done is over.” Simple, easy statement that irked me. Oh heck no, its not over! One unreimbursed rental coming up! For days on end… weeks, perhaps even months or years. It would bounce around in the gray matter and never get resolved. Kept me awake at night and determined my attitude towards me, you and my loved ones. Fueled my unending excuses to drink.

“It cannot be changed. But my attitude about it can be changed through talking with those who have gone before and with sponsors.”

Didn’t have motivation to speak with anyone for a very long time. Didn’t want to hear any nature of solution. I was happy with the anger. It identified me.

“I can wish the past never was, but if I change my actions in regard to what I have done, my attitude will change. I won’t have to wish the past away. I can change my feelings and attitudes, but only through my actions and the help of my fellow alcoholics.”

The irony? I have changed my actions and my attitude. I became motivated to alter my actions and my thinking because I eventually wind up in enough pain over what I had done to those I loved. The self-hatred overflowed and the only way to stem it was alcohol – until that stopped working. And I still hated myself for the harm I perpetrated, especially on “her.” I find sobriety, I change, develop hope and they change also – except the way they change is: their anger gets worse, their hatred of me gets worse, their negative judgment of me gets worse. I drank, they lived with me. I don’t drink anymore, they can’t live with me.

God and I have a straaaaaange relationship. And – there’s no booze on my breath. Go figure…

Post from: Blisstree

Whatever Is Done Is Over

Dr. Paul O’s Step Study Program

The guide begins with;

“Welcome to The Land of Beginning Again! If you aren’t satisfied with the way your life has been going and you’d like to chuck the whole thing and start all over again, then you hold in your hand a tool for doing just that and for doing it right this time. Beginning again, in the opinion of the editor, is what the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous are all about.”

Folks, if you think will power, rather than the Twelve Steps, will work on your alcoholism (or any other disease arrested by the Twelve Steps), then, please, by all means, try to eat a box of Ex-Lax and try your will power on that!

But for those of you who might truly be real alcoholics (or, again, apply the Twelve Steps of your recovery group), this is the deal!

I can’t reproduce here what this guide offers, the space is simply not enough. Click through to Dr. Paul’s guide and scroll down past the halfway point to where it says: Fourth Step Guide

If you follow these directions, I’m sure you’ll be a bit surprised once you come to the end and discover you’ve done a Fifth Step, perhaps without realizing that you have.

I’d also suggest you read through the questions presented as each meeting with the group is given, such as for the first meeting;

• Are you aware that your illness affected both your mind and your body?
• Do you believe or can you accept the concept of an allergic reaction to alcohol?
• What is an allergy?
• Do you agree with the idea of hospitalization?
• Have you ever experienced the phenomenon of craving? (page XXV)
• Did you like the effect of alcohol?
• Did you reach the point where you could not differentiate “the true from the false”?
• Did your alcoholic life seem normal?
• The doctor seems to say that a “psychic change” must occur. What is a psychic change?
• Can you accept the fact that alcoholism “has never been, by any treatment with which we are familiar, permanently eradicated?”

Post from: Blisstree

How To Do A Fifth Step

5th STEP Prayer

God I thank you from the bottom of my heart that I know you better. Help me become aware of anything I have omitted discussing with another person. Help me to do what is necessary to walk a free man at last. AMEN

(p. 75 BB)

Post from: Blisstree

5th Step Prayer

Don H. would tell us when he shared that “AA has changed. Used to be that you’d throw your problems out on the table in a meeting then you’d wait to hear the solution. Now, you throw your problems out on the table and then go out and have a cigarette. You don’t wait for the answer. I wouldn’t mind if you’d throw your problems out if you’d just tell me what you’re going to do about them!”

Lest you attempt to diminish Don – he died with 55 years sober and was a direct descendant of some of the first 100 members of AA – so, don’t. I had come to know and have a world of respect for him. He taught me a lot. I was not alone…

“We have been trying to get a new attitude, a new relationship with our Creator, and to discover the obstacles in our path.”

It does not say “find a new woman,” for that bonehead who mentioned that was what he was here for. It says a new relationship with our Creator. I understand Creator as my God. You might perceive it somewhat differently. I no longer see a woman as my God! (If you’re a woman, you ought not see a man as your God!) I no longer worship booze either! (If you knew God before AA why did you worship booze instead?)

“We have put our finger on the weak items in our personal inventory. Now these are about to be cast out. This requires action… This brings us to the Fifth Step…”

“Coming to his senses, he is revolted at certain episodes he vaguely remembers. These memories are a nightmare. He trembles to think someone might have observed him… He is under constant fear and tension – that makes for more drinking.”

I know that someone observed me. Now that I’m thinking about it, it is, once again, something I regret deeply. I did incredible harm to a person I was telling I loved. Why did I do it? I found that out in my Fourth Step. The reason I did it will now be “cast out.” I haven’t done it again. It is no longer one of the endless excuses to drink.

There is a rule in the Fifth Step. Do you know what it is?

Post from: Blisstree

The Fifth Step

From the 12&12 of Alcoholics Anonymous, page 55;

“So intense, though, is our fear and reluctance to do this (talk to somebody), that many A.A.’s at first try to bypass Step Five. We search for an easier way – which usually consists of the general and fairly painless admission that when drinking we were sometimes bad actors. Then, for good measure, we add dramatic descriptions of that part of our drinking behavior which our friends probably know about anyhow.”

You know, stuff exactly like what we did in those glorious gin mills we hung out in…

Somewhere along the way, early on, I more than likely did what many do – go one step further by bragging about their exploits when drinking! I’ve got to tell ya’ – we’re not impressed! Great drunk-a-logue! When do ya’ get sober???

Then, the current twist for a newcomer who isn’t working at changing – “went to a bar the other night and made it through the whole night and didn’t drink!”

We’re still not impressed!

Got a few meetings under your belt and now, out of nowhere, you have some kind of power over alcohol eh? Page 56 tells us more about you. It says: “Few muddled attitudes have caused us more trouble… They will tell how they tried to carry the load alone; how much they suffered of irritability, anxiety, remorse, and depression.”

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Bragging Not Allowed!