It seemed my brothers and I always felt different. Especially after working diligently to prepare our lists to Santa each year, waiting with eager anticipation until Christmas, only to be discouraged and disappointed one more time.
Second best – at most! Sometimes Third or lower…
Eventually you lose the energy to make a list finding yourself staring at the “wishbook” forlornly having no faith whatsoever that any wish or desire would be fulfilled.
From today’s Daily Reflections;
“Material values ruled my life for many years during my active alcoholism. I believed that all of my possessions would make me happy, yet I still felt …read more

From AA’s Twelve & Twelve, page 86;
“There can be only one consideration which should qualify our desire for a complete disclosure of the damage we have done. That will arise in the occasional situation where to make a full revelation would seriously harm the one to whom we are making amends. Or – quite as important – other people. We cannot, for example, unload a detailed account of extramarital adventuring upon the shoulders of our unsuspecting wife or husband. And even in those cases where such a matter must be discussed, let’s try to avoid harming third parties, whoever they …read more

Doesn’t [always] mean I am guilty…
Listening to newcomers at today’s Noon meeting I heard it again. What I sounded like with the same amount of “sober” time. Especially when I attempted to speak about what my father “did” to me to make me drink. That is until an oldtimer asked me if my father poured any booze down my throat.
From today’s Daily Reflections;
I Am Responsible
“For the readiness to take the full consequences of our past acts, and to take responsibility for the well-being of others at the same time, is the very spirit of Step Nine.”
“The very thing I fear …read more

From today’s Daily Reflection;
“Made direct amends to such people wherever possible”
This reflection speaks of not being able to make amends to those folks who were casual acquaintances. People who passed through our lives briefly or barely. Like those neighbors I used to live near who no doubt heard my late night yelling…
“The only amends I can make to those untraceable individuals, the only ‘changes for the better’ I can offer, are indirect amends made to other people, whose paths briefly cross mine. Courtesy and kindness, regularly practiced, help me to live in emotional balance, at peace with myself.”
Just a personal …read more

“Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.”
First Things First – changing wherever to whenever gives a different meaning…
The Very Spirit;
“The readiness to take the full consequences of our past acts, and to take responsibility for the well-being of others at the same time, is the very spirit of Step Nine.”
Full consequences. Not partial, half, a little bit or just some. Full.
The only exceptions? Cases where our disclosure would cause actual harm.
Not delaying because we are afraid…
“Earnestly asking God’s help and guidance – meanwhile resolving to do the right thing …read more

It might be inevitable…
Those who don’t grow will inevitably go – back to drinking (drugging, overeating, etc.). Pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization.
Let’s take a shot (and I mean shoot at it lol) at complacency. From today’s Daily Reflection;
“Sobriety fills the painful ‘hole in my soul’ that my alcoholism created. Often I feel so physically well that I believe my work is done.”
Were we to leave it right there I’d imagine many would get a different idea. Sounds like we could be approaching finished doesn’t it? Then – that horrible word – however…
“However, joy is not just the absence of pain; it …read more

That’s right – “Steps Eight and Nine are concerned with personal relationships.”
Thought – if you’re new and having troubles with your personal relationships and thinking of drinking, don’t keep it to yourself and think perhaps you can solve it on your own! Meetings, sponsor, oldtimers.
Make note – From the 12&12, page 77;
“First, we take a look backward and try to discover where we have been at fault; next we make a vigorous attempt to repair the damage we have done; and third, having thus cleaned away the debris of the past, we consider how, with our newfound knowledge of ourselves, …read more

Once upon a time when I was a car salesman I lost jobs because I was told I was too honest. Then, and now, I still see polls that show that one of the Top Ten Most Dishonest jobs is a car salesman. So, I’m grateful.
Naturally, I consider that, in “those days,” I was drinking so how honest could I have been? I suppose only my customers could say…
When working an Eighth and Ninth Step there is a lengthy discussion in the Big Book about just exactly how honest we ought to be. The answer, for me, is on page …read more

To grow I must admit my challenges. Prayer is one.
From page 96 in the 12&12;
“We well remember how something deep inside us kept rebelling against the idea of bowing before any God.”
Of course there is something else that continues to remind me of the nature of my dilemma – page 39 in the Big Book;
“But the actual or potential alcoholic, with hardly an exception, will be absolutely unable to stop drinking on the basis of self-knowledge. This is a point we wish to emphasize and re-emphasize, to smash home upon our alcoholic readers as it has been revealed to us …read more

I did it, still do it on occasion. I see others doing it. There are even those who engage groups to do it.
I Am An Exception! I Am Different!
Taking today’s “Daily Reflections” and breaking it down a bit;
“During my drinking life I was convinced I was an exception. I thought I was beyond petty requirements and had the right to be excused.”
Separate myself from you. All of you! I’m special. I’m different. I deserve special treatment. Blah, blah, blah.
How many of you would like to say “EGO!” I would… The right to be excused? From what? The consequences of my …read more