.

Borya and the Burps: An Eastern European Adoption Story, in my opinion, is one of the first children’s books to (almost) accurately portray an Eastern European adoption.

There are adoption advocates out there who will say that children may be frightened by Borya’s perspective of the orphanage and what is going on around him but those things are very real to a child.

For example, Borya wonders where the other baby went and if he will be all right (Borya’s tummy hurt all night.During times of high stress AJ has tummy issues still. ), Boyra is frightened his new Daddy will give him a shot like the other male who does in the orphanage (AJ loved males because he never saw them. He loved his male doctor and he loved Eric. He hated women and was scared of them because he was constantly disciplined and medicated by them, thus he was afraid of me.), and when the caretaker tells Borya that his new mommy and daddy are here to get him he responds with confusion and fear (what child would not be fearful of strangers and of leaving the only place they have ever known? Every child who has ever gone through this situation would certainly understand that.).

The book basically tells the story of how a couple go to an Eastern European country, go to an orphanage, find their child, go to court, and then return to their home. As simplistic as it is it does explain what the orphanage is like for a child, how court can be daunting, and how the process is emotional for everyone involved.

See other reviews at Perspective Press.

Post from: Blisstree

Book of the Week: Borya and the Burps

I read the book, LifeBooks : Creating a Treasure for the Adopted Child, and gathered as much information I could about AJ, and his history, our process, our first trip, and so forth. However, on our way to the Arkhangelsk airport to head home we were in a car accident. Luckily, no one was hurt badly but I tore the cartilage in my right knee and our in-country representative broke her knee cap.

So, between trip one and two I attempted to coach track (I hobbled and took stats while the kids ran), went to therapy, and just three weeks before we traveled to bring AJ home for good I had knee surgery to repair the cartilage.

I certainly could have completed his lifebook during my recovery period but I was in so much pain (I’m pretty whimpy) that I did not do much.

Ultimately, this book is the best out there on lifebooks and adoption. “This book is by far the most enlightened, meaningful and relevant book out there. I have already bought several copies for my friends and for our homstudy agency. Most so called lifebooks focus on scrapbooking concepts. This is the only one I have found that talks about CONTENT. Not only what to write about, but WHY certain information needs to be included. It’s really a “How-to on Lifebooks” AND a “Talking About Adoption” book rolled into one.”

Resources:

• Scrapbook Kit In A Stack 12”X12” Pad-Travel
• Expo Expandable Organizer- Clear
• Scrapbook Kit In A Stack 8″X8″ Pad-All Occasion
• Super Deluxe Scrapbooking Kit
• Scotch Double Sided Scrapbooking Tape
• Ribbon Glue ;
• Photo Corners 250/Pkg-Clear
• Scrapbook Tool Kit 13Pc-6-Paper Shapers, 4-Punches, 3-Crimpers

Post from: Blisstree

Book of the Week: Lifebooks

What has gotten viewers in a huff (mainly the adoption community and parents of children from China) is this excerpt from the movie (and of course the inaccurate portrayal of what domestic adoption is really like).

Numerous detractors have said online they think the joke is offensive, oversimplifies the adoption process in China and shouldn’t be used in trailers and film clips at awards shows, the San Francisco Chronicle reported.

“No one could be more sensitive to this idea than myself. My wife and daughter are Chinese, and my sister is adopted,” Reitman told the Chronicle in an e-mail statement. “While I am connected to this on all levels, I have always felt that it is important that we find humor in which we are most sensitive. It is through comedy that we can begin conversation instead of hiding behind political correctness — a wall that simply divides people and stifles communication.”

What do you all think?

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Juno Distasteful?

However, if one looks at this fabulous list of adoptees, adoptive parents, and, yes, orphans, one will see that no matter where they came from or whom they were raised by, they are extraordinary people.

Is that nature vs. nurture?

Adoptees

Michael Reagan (Ronald Reagan’s Son)

Nancy Reagan (First Lady- step-parent adoption)

Gerald Ford (step-parent adoption)

Eleanor Roosevelt (raised by grandmother)

William Clinton (step-parent adoption)

Herbert Hoover (raised by uncles)

Andrew Jackson (lost parents at 14, no adoption)

Adoptive Parents

Ronald Reagan

Famous Politicians

Jesse Jackson

John Hancock

Malcolm X

Sen Paull H Shin

Sen Robert Byrd

Birthparents

Strom Thurmond

Adoptive Parents

Senator Jesse Helms

Senator John McCain

Senator Lloyd Bensten

Senator Paul Simon

Senator Kay Bailey Hutchinson

William Delahunt

For more President’s Day Postings:

Blog Fabulous is Shaking Clinton’s Hand (which one? Read the post)

All Holiday Cafe has some great Educational ideas for kids out of school today.

Guerilla Parenting has a Month Rich in History Lessons

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US Politicians (and Presidents) and the Adoption Connection

She recently stated that her husband, Chris Martin of Cold Play, is interested in adopting (but she is only just “open to it”).

She said: “My husband wants to adopt. So I don’t know. I’m sort of open for anything.” (It is a good thing you are open to it because attachment to a non-biological child can be a tough thing to handle, ya know?)

She went on to say, “We might get one from Brooklyn. No baby is more helpless than another baby. And I’m a New York girl. People who have a lot often feel they have a lot to give.” (Glad you are going to “Get” a “helpless baby”…perhaps I will “get” one too.)

However, she also states that “People who have a lot also often feel like they have a lot to give,” said Paltrow. “I have a good friend who always says that if you’re a person of means at all, then you have to adopt because there are so many kids in the world who need homes.” (Because anyone who has money should adopt just because they have money?)

So, is she adopting just because she and her celebrity friends are and because she has the money to do so?

Or is this just a publicity stunt because she is working again?

Her comeback movie – the first since she took a break to become a mother – is due for release in October.

Romantic comedy ‘The Good Night’ – in which Gwyneth plays the girlfriend of a washed-up pop star – is written and directed by her brother Jake.

This all just irks me.

Post from: Blisstree

Paltrow to Adopt?

According to a BBC report, a group of ‘charity workers’ located in Chad were arrested on the tarmark of the airport with an airplane full of about 103 children. The group denies they planned to sell the children for adoption, instead claiming they were sending them to ‘host families’ at a nice price of 2,400 euros (US$3,450) each. The group also claimed the children were from Darfur, Sudan and they were rescuing them from their ‘war torn lives’. It turns out many of the children were from Chad and not without families.

Apparently Guatemala is not the only place that children are seen as commodities.

Since the Vietnam War and Operation Babylift children have been ripped from their mothers arms so that the media can use adoption as the do-gooders mission and even that is wrong in all aspects of life. But since adoption has become the “mod” thing to do (note: Angelina, Madonna) it is also becoming the thing we do for orphans. Instead of “feeding the starving kids in Ethiopia” like we did in the 80’s we are now adopting them into our own homes and “saving” them because its “cool” (of course I am being flippant but some part of me and even the media sees it this way, as more and more celebrities are jumping on that bandwagon).

But, are internationally adopted children all orphans?

According to the New York Times, many children in the international systems often have living family members, as do both of mine. The issue with having living family members and being eligible for adoption is that birth parents can be unable or unwilling to take care of the children, thus making the children look like orphans in the system. And, obviously, children like these have living parents and should never have been taken from them.

But is it right to take children from their natural country, even as adoptive parents?

I believe that adopting children for the sake of “saving” them is wrong. What parent would really truly love their child if the only reason for adopting them was to “save” them from the “hardships” of growing up in countries like Chad or Ethiopia? Does it actually mean that this child will be better off living in suburbia drinking Diet Coke and eating Cheetos?

But when it comes down to a child’s best interests is it about the country in which they live or is about having parents that love them and a family that comforts them?  Now, I know all too well that love does not make an adoption work because my son’s problems were real. We have struggled from the day we met him to build a family but I would bet my life that he would chose family over an institution life any day.

Was taking him from Russia in his best interest? Personally, I think yes. Do we try to take the Russia out of him? Never.

Post from: Blisstree

Has Adoption Become “Child Trafficking?”

• In Russia it can be frowned upon to give fragrances because it might be considered insulting (although some women love special perfumes and often request it from families).
• It is most often customary in a two trip adoption to wait until the second trip to give gifts because it may be considered a bribe if a gift is given before hand.
• When giving money in international countries make sure to give larger bills (if giving American money) because this is difficult to exchange.
• Chocolates are not necessarily a good gift because every country has great chocolates.

Gift Ideas for Russian Orphanage Directors, Doctors, Representatives, and Caregivers

For Men:

Wallets (with money), Watch, Scarves, Gloves, Hats, Key Chains, Money Clip, Jewelry for their wives or children, etc.

For Women:

Scarves, Gloves, Body Lotion, Bath Soaps, Hand Creme, Hand Bags, Shopping Bags (nice market bag), Nice Jewelry, Vases, Picture Frames, Fruit and Flowers, Candles, etc.

For the orphanage

Donate some new plants, diapers, NEW (for health reasons) clothing (or if acceptable, gently used), a new tricycle, medical supplies that don’t expire (or donate OTC medications with translations) toothbrushes, combs, crib sheets, blankets, hats, mittens, coats, swaddles, bottles, nipples, crib toys, teethers, Neosporin, alcohol wipes, band aids, underwear, socks, etc.
For International Foster Mothers

Most Foster Mothers have families and children of their own and probably appreciate money more than anything else so why not a great new handbag, a pretty piece of jewelry and some cash for the family?

Many foster mothers might also like a gift from your home town. For example, ideas include: t-shirts, sweatshirts, or baseball caps (for a child) of a sports team, postcards, trivets, books, or toys for their children.

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Gift Ideas for Adoption Caregivers