Topic: adult relationships

Let’s Talk About Sex: Titillating TV To Ignite Your Pillow Talk

Samantha Jones, Sex And The City‘s famous vixen-vamp, once said: “sex is a barometer for what’s going on in the relationship.” But now, according to a new scientific study, the real barometer is, actually, Sex And The City. Published in the June 2011 issue of the Journal of Communication, study author Emily Moyer-Gusé from Ohio State University found that, after watching an episode of SATC, viewers who identified with the characters reportedly felt more confident to discuss sexually transmitted diseases with their partner, friends and doctors, and were twice as likely to do so. And what’s more, the results of the study applied men as well as women, with almost half (46%) of the participants pillow-talkin’ within two weeks. To quote Carrie Bradshaw: “That’s just fabulous.” More »

You Want to Be Exclusive, He Doesn’t? Relationship Advice From Victor the Cat

Dear Victor the Cat:

I got back together with an ex about a year ago, but he didn’t want to commit to a serious relationship, preferring that we keep it casual (meaning he has freedom to sleep with other women). I thought our “relationship” would fade away when he moved to another city this fall to go to grad school. But he’s kept in constant contact, and we talk daily. He even still tells me that he loves me. But whenever I bring up the idea of us becoming exclusive, he refuses to discuss it. I’m dating other people, but it makes me feel guilty. And thinking of him being with another woman makes me feel sick. What should I do? More »

Does DNA determine if your fella cheats on you? If your guy’s a sleazebag, he may want to blame genetics. (via Vitamin G)

Ask Victor the Cat for Relationship Advice: Should I Re-Date My Mate?

Dear Victor:

It’s a short work week, so I’ll make this brief. I recently started dating a guy that I actually had a relationship with in high school (for six months), and then again in college (for another few months). Now, eight years after that, we’ve started seeing each other again. (He currently lives in our hometown, but is in the process of moving to my city — but for him, not for me.) It’s only been a few weeks this time around, and we’ve been able to take things slow, which is good. And we’ve been friends for a long time — also good. My question is: How can I make sure we don’t repeat the same mistakes we made in the past? Namely, conflict due to different life goals, and communication issues? More »

We laid out pee pads and cleaned up poo. We cuddled, and were nibbled and nipped. We documented exhaustively. We Facebook-ed and Flickr-ed our new bundle of joy. We threw a puppy shower in retaliation for any and all baby showers we’d ever attended, and ever would attend. We went to the park. We potty trained. We befriended strangers who took no interest in us, only in what was at the end of our leash. We “oooohed” and “ahhhhhed” at our adorable new arrival, but less at each other. We awakened in the middle of the night to clean up accidents, but not to have sex.

– Blisstree contributor Hailey Eber on the harsh realities of bringing a new little one home, and the serious strain that can create for you and your partner, from her post: Puppy Love: How My Beloved Pooch Almost Ruined My Long-Term Relationship

Personally, I think your girlfriend owes you an explanation (however brief) about why she uses the secret cell phone in the first place; and why she went “ballistic” and threw you out of the house. However, in a romantic relationship, we rarely get the responses, reactions, and results that we want. (Which is why I’m glad I’m a cat whose balls have been cut off. I don’t require or crave romance, only platonic cuddling.) Unfortunately, you may just have to accept that you and she aren’t together anymore, and that the relationship is over. You may want to start by referring to her as your ex-girlfriend.

– Blisstree relationship columnist Victor the Cat with pragmatic advice for yet another reader with a complicated love-life issue, from his post: Relationships on the Rocks: Sex, Lies, and Victor the Cat (Ask Him for Advice)

Gallery: 10 Classic Movies I Watch Over Thanksgiving to (Temporarily) Escape Family Melodrama

Long solitary walks, turkey trot races, iPods, iPads, pretending to have swine flu, baking for hours, saying you have to go upstairs to do some “work,” generous amounts of alcohol, pretending to watch football, anti-anxiety meds: All are perfectly valid ways to get through Thanksgiving weekend when you have a house full of challenging relatives and guests who overstay their welcome. (Or perhaps you’re being held hostage at Aunt Polly’s house for the weekend.) Either way, you can combine one or two of these excuses (I highly recommend alcohol) with my gallery of ten classic movies I watch over Thanksgiving to escape all the family melodrama — albeit temporarily. But if you’re unluckly enough to have an annoying relative who plops down next to you on the couch to watch one of these films and constantly asks: “Who is that?”, “Wait…did he just kill someone?”, “I don’t get it…are they a couple?”, or “Is that Julie Andrews or Shirley Jones?”, I’m afraid you’re on your own. Which is why I highly recommend alcohol. (And headphones.) More »

Relationships on the Rocks: Sex, Lies, and Victor the Cat (Ask Him for Advice)

Hi Victor.

I’ll cut to the chase. My girlfriend and I have been together for about four years. She has two kids and I have one but we treat and see ourselves as a family of five. There have been problems in the distant past, and last April she moved out. That lasted for about three weeks, and we’ve been back together since then. I’m not perfect, but have been trying to be the best guy I can be for her. In the past I was mistrustful, but that was a long time ago. But you know how it is — when an argument starts it always gets brought up. Up until last Tuesday, everything was going well; there had been a bit of, shall we say, distance from her, but all-in-all we spent every day together and knew everything about each other. She then ditched important plans on us, and then I found out that she has a secret cell phone I was not told about, but she was giving out the number and telling people not to give it to me. I told her calmly that I knew of this and wanted to talk about it. She went ballistic and threw me out of the house. More »

5 Recurring Dreams of Women In Long-Term Relationships (And What They Mean)

Check out this post relationship dream analysis by Kelly Sullivan Walden on Lemondrop.

For most of us women, relationships take up the lion’s share of our lives, so it would stand to reason that our conscious, as well as our subconscious, minds are absorbed with relationship thoughts, strategies, tools to hook him, understand him — sometimes even make him over.

Most of our nocturnal sojourns are a constant stream of subtle (or blatant as a foghorn) clues to navigate the sea of love in the most opportune way. The following are the five most common dreams among committed women and how they might assist you in making your relationship more sea-worthy:

Driving in a Car Together

What it means: Time to make plans for the next leg of your journey More »

What We're Reading:

Off I went, and no matter how many souvenirs I brought back with me, I couldn’t quite make up for my extended absence. Partly in retaliation, the boyfriend booked a nearly two-week trip abroad of his own home to see his family. He was angry, and I was angry at him for being angry, and that, it seems, is how we went from puppy dreams to a near break-up in approximately the time it took our little miracle to grow a full set of adult teeth and learn how to defecate outside.

Off I went, and no matter how many souvenirs I brought back with me, I couldnâ��t quite make up for my extended absence. Partly in retaliation, the boyfriend booked a nearly two-week trip abroad of his own home to see his family. He was angry, and I was angry at him for being angry, and that, it seems, is how we went from puppy dreams to a near break-up in approximately the time it took our little miracle to grow a full set of adult teeth and learn how to defecate outside.

– Blisstree contributor Hailey Eber on how one very small adopted dog triggered very big problems in her home and love life, from her post: Puppy Love: How My Beloved Pooch Almost Ruined My Long-Term Relationship

My Uncle John always cooks up a nice prime rib on Christmas Day, and the night before, Mom and I go out to eat. One year, the only place we could find open was a Shula’s Steakhouse. Their menu comes on a football, an actual leather football. God bless us, everyone! Kim’s experience is a little more Bedford Falls to my Pottersville, which suits us both just fine. Her upside is the Christmas-y feel of hot cocoa in her pajamas; mine is that Mom no longer has the desire to attend Christmas mass. The most important part is that it works for Kim and me. If there was ever any in-law badgering about the standing arrangement, it went by the wayside as soon as a lack of grandchildren rendered us more or less irrelevant.

– Blisstree contributor Patrick Sauer on the big Christmas traditions that he and his wife of ten years celebrate – separately and in different states – from his post: My Wife and I Always Spend the Holidays Apart (And We Like It That Way)

Puppy Love: How My Beloved Pooch Almost Ruined My Long-Term Relationship

I’m at my friend K’s apartment, crying and drinking whatever Trader Joe’s wine she happens to have on hand. “We just can’t stop fighting,” I mumble. “We just have different ideas as to how he should be raised. He wants me to stay home more; he doesn’t want us to put him in day care.”

K nods. I can see her analytical, lawyer-brain quickly equating my relationship and its issues with the one she left a year or so ago. “This is totally déjà vu,” she says. She’s silently thinking my long-term boyfriend and I are destined for the same fate as her and her ex – and her ex-cat.

Across the room, my six-month-old puppy sniffs a pile of junk belonging to K’s annoying roommate, blithely unaware of the drama he’s created. I flash forward to images of my life as a single mother. A dog walker. A tiny studio apartment or a strange, annoying roommate of my very own. Girlish glasses of Sauvignon Blanc and giggles over failed relationships and the pets that pushed them to the brink. How did it come to this? More »

Ask Victor the Cat for Relationship Advice: Thanksgiving With Annoying Relatives Edition

Dear Victor the Cat:

My long-term boyfriend and I are going to his family’s house for Thanksgiving (that entire weekend, actually…they live out of state). We’ve been together for eight years, so we know each other’s family really well. In my experience, it’s impossible for his family to get together for any occasion without there being some kind of major dramatic blow-up — always about something stupid and trivial, of course. There are scenes, loud arguments, tears, people slamming doors, and storming out of houses. (My boyfriend doesn’t do any of this…he tries to be the mediator and the voice of reason.) What’s worse, his family never apologizes (to us or to each other), and nothing ever changes — they just act the same ridiculous way during the next holiday. I’m sure we can’t be the only people who see this kind of dysfunctional family behavior around the holidays, can we?) It’s gotten so bad that I’ve told my boyfriend that if it happens one more time, I won’t be able to accompany him to his family’s house for holidays anymore. More »

“People ask me if spanking is painful,” says Babeland sex educator Cristen Kennedy, who recently started teaching a class on spanking at one of Babeland’s New York City locations. “Everyone processes pain differently. The goal is not to beat the crap out of someone.”

â��People ask me if spanking is painful,â�� says Babeland sex educator Cristen Kennedy, who recently started teaching a class on spanking at one of Babelandâ��s New York City locations. â��Everyone processes pain differently. The goal is not to beat the crap out of someone.â��

– Blisstree contributor Helen “Girly” Brown interviewing Babeland’s Cristen Kennedy about consensual adult spanking in the bedroom, from her post: Hit Me With Your Best Shot: Blisstree’s Guide to Sensation Play During Sex

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