The Home Study is not a report on your home but a series of papers and reports about you and your spouse (and other children if you have them already).

The laws in every state require all prospective adoptive parents to have a home study. Agencies are required to both educate and prepare parents for their adoption as well as gather information about the family; do they meet the needs of the state and the prospective country?

• Family background.
• Education/employment.
• Relationships.
• Daily life.
• Parenting.
• Neighborhood.
• Religion.
• Feelings about/readiness for adoption.
• Approval/recommendation.

Needed Documents: birth certificates, marriage licenses or certificates, and divorce decrees, if applicable. Fingerprints from state and national agencies.

ONE word of advice: If you are not yet married and want to get married out of the country make sure to apply for a US marriage license and have a Civil ceremony in the US. Or, if you already had a wedding outside the US please start tracking down your marriage license NOW. It is VERY difficult to get.

Post from: Blisstree

What is an Adoption Home Study?

Summer Adoption Programs try to match children with families who intend to adopt them, not as a trial period but as a chance to get to known them better (most host children are older and traditionally have a more difficult time finding families). Additionally, some families will host children in the hopes that they can find a family that would like to adopt them (but could not host for one reason or another). Sometimes meeting a child means all the difference in the world.

CNN has a video about Vietnamese children today.

If you are interested in hosting next summer contact the following agencies:

Adoption Associates (Michigan and Florida only)

New Horizons for Children (Regional programs now operate in the North East, South East, Central TX, and West Coast)

Cradle of Hope

Any others?

Post from: Blisstree

Summer Adoption Programs

Last year we were in Guatemala City the day after Christmas to meet our future son and this year we will be there for the New Year to bring him home. For us, it has been a long year, waiting, dealing with the unknown, trying to understand mistakes that should not have been made.

But, when it comes down to it we know that Gus is in a good place, that he is taken care of and that he is happy. We don’t look forward to the grief we know he will have for his foster family and the potential rough adjustment he will have but we also know that it comes with adoption. AJ went through it and it is my belief that most children, no matter how hard parents try to ignore it, go through it.

Guatemala has experienced it’s own turmoil this year, enough to leave children without homes, adoptive parents in flux, the adoption community (agencies) in a state of financial emergency, and even in legal trouble for European Adoption (ummm… Orson Mozes?) and adoption personnel in Guatemala.

We feel so grateful that we have made it this far, that we have finally made it to the finish line so to speak. There are so many families before us that are still stuck in this process. We know what it feels like to take the steps needed and then falter. We missed months of his first year because of foolish mistakes.

Perhaps there were reasons…

Post from: Blisstree

Guatemala Adoption, Finally

Do we talk to AJ about his birth mother? No. He can’t handle it yet. I wish he could but he can’t. We talk to him, instead about Russia. About the orphanage. About the country he came from, not about “where” he came from.

I wish I could because she is part of me too. No matter where my child is from his birth parents are a part of him and we need to teach him that. We need to show him that. With AJ we just need to allow him to guide us and let us know when it is the right time.

To define open adoption would be like defining the word faith. Every open adoption is different in that every family has their own degree of openness in which they are comfortable. Technically Open Adoption refers to the sharing of information and/or contact between the adoptive and biological parents of an adopted child. This can occur before, during and/or after the placement of the child. However, there are typically three types of open adoption: confidential (minimal information shared), mediated (information mediated through an agency), and fully disclosed (involves full disclosure between adoptive and birth parents).

Adoptive parents should know that having the birth parents in their lives does not have to be a threatening situation. Having them close allows you to better know your child by knowing the birth parents.

Additionally, research conducted back in 1993 shows that adoptive parents and birth mothers are generally satisfied despite the “normal” amounts of grief that accompanies adoption.

Read some Birth Mother Stories at Adoptive Families

Read these stories on Open Adoption.

Post from: Blisstree

The Basics of Open Adoption

We were traveling to a country we had never been before, we did not know the language, and we were going to be meeting our son for the first time. Our stomach’s were in knots. Lucky for us, our agency planned a three day stop-over in St. Petersburg to sight-see. It broke up the trip a little and really allowed us to relax and get to know the country.

Before you board that plane headed to the international country of your choice, prepare yourself.

1. Be prepared to travel on short notice and be prepared for unexpected travel arrangements. We did not have to travel on short notice but when our flight was canceled out of Detroit (and we told the airline of our pending court appearance) they were happy to switch us to another airline, first class. Our trip to Guatemala was very short notice but because we had traveled to Russia two years before we knew many of the items to take. We did not know, however, the area we were traveling to or the language. Big mistake on our part.

2. Have a communication plan in place. We learned what we like to call “Toddler Russian”. It was very simple Russian but it allowed us to speak with our son. Everyone else that we needed to speak with spoke English or had a translator for us. Not all countries will have this though so be prepared.

3. Prepare Medically. Check up on your vaccines and be prepared for medical mishaps. We got all of our vaccines before traveling to Russia and made sure to take antibiotics as well as stomach ailments to both Russia and Guatemala. Because of the language barrier you can not always find what you need when you need it. However, hotels are usually pretty good at getting you medication, especially in Guatemala. Russia has a difficult time translating.

4. Some adoption resources say to pack light and buy necessities there. However, my suggestion is to make sure you HAVE the necessities because you never know if you will find them, especially on your first trip. Purchase space saver bags that can be blown out without a vacuum and use them wisely (they work great!). Buying a 2 oz. tube of diaper creme for $8 is not fun.

5. Document everything. I am so glad that I sent daily emails home because it created a journal for me to share with AJ later in life. I took so many pictures I was afraid he would hate the camera but he loves it now.

6. Sight-see if you can. You probably won’t be able to do it with baby or toddler in tow on trip two so do it now. We traveled to St. Petersburg and loved being able to see part of the country. Enjoy. Our trip to Guatemala did not allow sight-seeing because Gus was staying with us in the hotel and he was not legally ours (and therefore we could not leave the hotel). I feel we missed out on a lot of the culture. I plan on going back sometime.

7. Know where you are going. When we traveled to Russia I knew so much about Russia and Arkhangelsk that I was practically a walking encyclopedia. When we traveled to Guatemala on our first trip it was a last minute trip because we had originally been told there would not be a referral. I didn’t know a thing about the area.

8. Buy souvenirs on your first trip if you can. Don’t try to purchase things with a baby or toddler in tow.

9. Don’t bring siblings. This is a time for bonding with your new child and a sibling will only get in the way and demand attention. You will want to focus your attention on your little on, get to know them, deal with medical issues, and find time to relax (if you can).

10. Photo copy all of your documents. Photocopy your passports, visa card, ID, drivers license, dossier, health insurance card, airline tickets, etc. and keep them in a safe place. We carried one copy of everything each in case we were separated. I know this may have been overkill but we felt better knowing that if one of us was injured or lost we both had all of the information we needed. In retrosepct it was smart because we were in a car accident and may have needed them.

11. Bring enough entertainment for yourselves in case the televisions don’t work or you can’t leave the hotel for some reason. On our trip to Russia we brought a DVD player and several movies, books, playing cards, crosswords, etc. We did the same for our trip to Guatemala. You never know when you will be stuck someplace and have absolutely nothing to do or have to entertain a cranky toddler. Baby Einstein and Winnie the Pooh came in handy on our second trip to Russia.

12. Call your bank and Credit Card company to let them know you will be traveling internationally.

13. Pack clothing for dual purposes and pack detergent. You can wash clothing in sinks so pack light on the clothing.

14. Pack convenience items. Use pre-soap dishwash rags, Huggies pre-soap baby wash towels, breakfast bars and prepackaged goods, take and toss items, ziplocs, etc. They are your BEST Friends.

Post from: Blisstree

International Adoption Travel Tips, Trip One

I am sure you have heard plenty of adoption horror stories, right? Many of them are because of bad agencies.

My first word of advice is to go through this list of questions when visiting an agency you like (or talking with them on the phone). It will certainly help you narrow down your choices.

Second, remember that although this is an emotional decision for you, the agency is a business and you, unfortunately, are their client. To them, this is a way to make money and they often will, and can, say things to do that.

Third, make sure you understand the fee structures, what money you will get back if something happens, how to file a complaint, etc.

Fourth, talk to other parents on their recommended families list as well as talk to other families on forums. NOT all families will be happy with their agencies, remember that. But, DO LOOK for the BIG RED FLAGS: Accreditation, misrepresentation, bait and switch, promises not kept, something sounding too good to be true, time lines that sound surreal, etc.

Fifth, GO, GO, GO, to the informational meetings. I can’t stress this enough. You get a much better feel for the agency when you do this. My husband and I thought we really liked one agency but ended up being creeped out by their promises and time-lines.

Post from: Blisstree

Five Steps to Choose an Adoption Agency

Agencies who do not have accreditation should transfer pending cases to accredited agencies (including refunding fees that have not yet been serviced). Cases may be able to proceed on the same track it was on prior to the transfer depending upon the facts of the case.

Am I concerned?

More than you know…

Post from: Blisstree

Guatemala and Agency Accredidation

Gosh, I love that little guy. Over the next two weeks watch for posts from three years ago…all of them will be in italics and labeled with the 2005 date. Enjoy.

Post from: Blisstree

Three

A third agency,  European Adoption Consultants, EAC, is now undergoing a thorough investigation because they did not report the incident in a timely manner.

Alexei Golovan, the Moscow ombudsman, said that Agencies must be held accountable for their work. “If they fail to meet their responsibilities, they should be barred from operating in Russia,” he said, adding that he would like to see more Russian parents adopt children.

Apparently, 14 children have been killed by their adoptive families as compared with 12 in Russia (over the last 15 years).

Post from: Blisstree

Agency Barred after VA Toddler’s Death

According to the MOE website this is not an official revocation of the accreditation but a suspension to allow time to clear things up. Family and Children’s Agency has one month and the Cradle of Hope has three months to correct whatever caused the suspension. Until then, they are not allowed to process adoptions in Russia.

This is unfortunate for agencies like COH because their China program is not moving quickly and I can only assume they have a limited number of families in the Guatemala program now.

You can use translation websites like Babelfish to translate the MOE website.

Here is the information that I received from a listserve. You can also find the info on FRUA via Karen.

Here is order 654 in Russian – (use google or promt or bable fish to
translate it)
http://www.usynovite.ru/documents/federal/regulations/229/

21. Delegation of the relevant foreign organizations are obliged to report
within a week of the Ministry of Education and Science of the Russian
Federation, as well as in the executive authorities of relevant subjects of
the Russian Federation about the change of location, phone number, personal
representation of employees, changes in respect of a valid license (or other
document), confirming the (confirmation) of foreign powers relevant
organizations to implement activities for the adoption of the reorganization
or liquidation of the foreign organization, as well as on any other changes
affecting the activity to adoption of children.

Paragraph 25

25. Representatives of the organizations represented in the Foreign Ministry
of Education and Science of the Russian Federation:

A)  annually in the manner determined by the Ministry of Education and
Science of the Russian Federation, a report of its activities adoption;

b) immediate information on cases of deaths of children adopted, abuse,
inability to adapt their adoptive parents in the family, adoption and repeal
(or) the conversion of children in another family (as well as information is
submitted immediately of foreign organizations in the executive authority
subject of the Russian Federation );

c) at the request of the Ministry of Education and Science of the Russian
Federation copies of contracts entered into the relevant foreign
organization with the competent authorities of the State of the whereabouts
of foreign organizations engaged in the preparation of opinions on the
living conditions of candidates for adoptive parents and the opportunity to
be adoptive parents and will be required to monitor conditions life and
upbringing of adopted children, to prepare and provide to the foreign
organizations relevant records and information on children as well as
provide other information about the activities of adoption of children.

Post from: Blisstree

Russian Accreditation Suspensions