A child was considered neglected if his parents or caregivers did not provide supervision or food, clothing, or shelter. Abuse was sexual or physical.

The aggression was defined as arguing, cruelty to others, destruction of property, disobedience, and threatening of fighting. It was based on the primary caregiver’s perceptions when the child was 4,6, and 8.

I wonder what they would find if they interviewed parents of children from Russian, Chinese, and other Eastern Block orphanages?

Post from: Blisstree

Early Neglect Predict Aggressive Behavior

“I always wanted to get back at them,” Richard Sonnen said of his classmates. “I always wanted to strangle them. … I was always mad. I was always angry and I would come home and cry to mom and dad.”

Richard was adopted from a Bulgarian orphanage when he was 4.5 years old. However, after a few months home he began to show anger and was unpredictable. Sonnen stated that when he was 6 Richard told her he wanted to kill her.

By eighth grade Richard was being treated by a psychiatrist and was on anti-psychotic medications. He was diagnosed with bipolar disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder, and “other disorders”.

When he was a junior in high school Sonnen uncovered a plan that Richard had made to set bombs around the school, as he had been repeatedly bullied since middle school.

But what comes next is even worse. After being institutionalized (on his parent’s request), Richard stays for over a year and a half, gets well enough to attend college, and proceeds to allegedly make a threat against his new school.

However, now that Richard is over 18 his parents have no legal authority to medically help him and he leaves school to go live on his own.

What worries me about cases like this is that they seem all too familiar. I have a child that seems very much like Richard. A sweet as candy kid  when he wants to be who also has the anger and aggression, a child who deals with psychosis (and tries hard to manage it), a child who WILL deal with bullying and who very well deal with bipolar.

My hope is that because we are dealing with the issues early and treating him early with therapies and medication that we can work through his issues before they become issues.

Post from: Blisstree

Warning Signs in Shooting Spree?

On an average day we don’t deal with adoption. On an average day we deal with AJ’s special needs. What is really interesting is that I have had this post in cue for about three weeks, since before we saw the psychiatrist and before this startling article on restraint and adoptive parents.

Let me first preface this post with pointing out that every child is different and every family is different. What techniques work for some families may not work for others. However, when things go too far, as in this case, it is unfortunate and pretty obvious that the parents needed outside help. We have, since AJ entered our home, sought outside help because we know that we need it. He sees a neuropsychologist, a psychiatrist, a biomedical pediatrician, a speech therapist, an occupational therapist, and his regular pediatrician. I see a therapist as well and we have also seen an attachment therapist, although we no longer see her.

Our lives are complicated. Everyday we deal with AJ trying to understand words, follow directions, listen, control impulsive behaviors, control aggressive and violent hitting and kicking, emotional outburts, and frustration because he can’t do things or understand. AJ is a complicated little guy with a lot of jumble inside. Our neurologist says that he has so much information inside his head but he can’t put it all together…its like telling him to go upstairs and get your slippers but he doesn’t remember what slippers are. He knows that he knows what they are but he can’t find the picture in his head. So, instead he goes upstairs and plays with the kitty, thus getting in trouble for not getting the slippers.

But, if I were to give him a picture of the slippers and told him to go upstairs and get the slippers he would probably go upstairs, get the slippers, leave the picture upstairs, and come back down…slippers on and holding the kitty. (Remember, they are MY slippers and I did not tell him to get the kitty.)

The real problem we are facing right now is his aggression and his anger. We treat AJ biomedically because we found it works for us but we are still dealing with his aggression.

Now that we have seen the psychiatrist we have started him on medication; half of the lowest dose of Risperdal that we can use.  We have already seen a difference in him but he has only been on it for 4 days. I will keep you posted.

Post from: Blisstree

Medication for Aggression? Is Risperdal the Answer?

He got upset because I would not allow him to keep the key to the bathroom (they have a key to let you into the bathroom, not sure why but they do). I quietly asked him to give it back and explained that it was not his to keep or play with…that other people had to be able to use the bathroom but he was determined to play with it. It was going to be his. I again told him that I was sorry…that he was going to have to give it back.

Now, brace yourselves because this is where it gets a little scary.

After I placed the key onto the counter he turned to me and hit me in the gut, something I knew was coming so I grabbed his hands. He then kicked me, immediately screamed at the TOP of his lungs (remember, library?), and turned to climb the counter to get to the key. I gently pulled him down and he tried to head butt me and then turned and ran. He found the entrance to behind the counter and tried to get in but I stopped him, turned him around (again, kicking and screaming, kitting, headbutting, etc) and sat him down. Actually, I attempted to sit him down. Most of the time I can sit him in a time out and talk to him but this time he was far beyond anything I had EVER seen.

He got up again, kicked me, again, and ran to the counter, screaming. This is when I picked him up under my arms restraining him as best I could (purse is where? Oh yeah…grab that too) and walked out the door…nope. He decides to throw his glasses.

I stop.

He struggles and grabs my HMMM HAAA. A nice lady picks up the glasses and hands them to me, along with his hat. Gloves are gone.

I then hike up a hundred steps with a screaming five year old restrained under my arms.

Because he wanted to play with a potty key?

Now, the words certainly don’t do the violence and the aggression justice but I think you get my point…what the heck am I supposed to do here? And how am I supposed to deal with this when the Bebe comes home? We have not seen behaviors like this until now, at least not to this extent and It Scares Me.

BTW, I am calling the doctor today.

Post from: Blisstree

It Scares Me

He has not been sleeping, has been dealing with some aggression again, and is having some issues with me…fighting for some independence to put it mildly. He’s four, what kid wouldn’t? The trouble is that AJ can’t have some of the independence most four year olds have because he does not understand the rules, the safety issues, and boundaries.

So, if you want to catch up on who I am until I can get to you…please visit My Two Boys and Discussing Autism. Tomorrow is Columbus Day and AJ is home with me but make sure to check back Tuesday for a special treat!

Post from: Blisstree

I Am…