As I mentoned to Edie, it is difficult living day to day with someone who has Alzheimer’s and can be very stubborn. They’re also often frightened by what’s happening to them, so strike out verbally and physically at those closest.  That often is the caregiver.

When I was caring for Mother, I read somewhere that you could end up becoming very angry at that person and had to be careful you didn’t harm them physically. “No never,” I thought. “She’s my mother.”

However, as the tiredness and frustrations grew, I began to understand what the author meant. I had to learn to laugh, to joke with Mother, and make an attempt to stay calm. I also realized I must get away from the caregiving at times and have space for myself.  I had to learn not to take what Mother said and did personally because she often didn’t know it was ME she was venting her frustrations on.

How have you learned to cope when caregiving seems too much?

Post from: Blisstree

When Caregiving Becomes Too Much

1. Ducks and ducklings – We raised a few of these on the farm and the mother ducks hatched a number of fluffy yellow babies each spring.
2. Geese - We also had a few geese.  One old gander liked to chase us.  Mother would take a swipe at him with a pail of water and send him flying.
3. Chickens – In addition to operating a dairy farm, Mother and Father raised several hundred chickens and sold eggs.  We children were kept busy helping with both operations.  In her Alzheimer’s years, Mother thought the chickens were in the backyard of her little retirement house and “fed” them bread crusts each afternoon.
4. Baltimore Oriole - A pair built their nest and raised their young in a large tree in our back yard each year.  Mother pointed out their distinctive swinging nest and introduced us to their song.
5. Robins – These, too, were occupants of our yard.  We liked to watch them pull worms from the ground.
6. Pheasants – As a 4-H project, Mother encouraged us children to raise  the pheasants provided through the County 4-H.  The first time we hatched the pheasant eggs under brooding hens.  But the survival rate was better when we got the baby pheasants and raised them.  Then we let them go in designated areas in our fields.
7. Red-winged blackbirds – We watched these birds with the distinctive red on their black wings flying and singing in the swampy areas of the pasture.
8. Bluebirds – We looked for these in the orchard where Father raised apples to sell.  Another of the many farm projects we were involved in.
9. Road runners – Mother enjoyed seeing these when she and Father traveled West to visit Jim and me when we was stationed at an Air Force base in Texas. 
10. Bantam or banty chickens - Mother raised a few of these small hens and roosters, just for variety on our farm.  Actually I think there was one proud rooster strutting around with a number of hens.
11. Turkeys – Mother’s brother raised these for sale on his farm.  It was fascinating to visit and listen to them “Gobble, gobble, gobble.”
12. Peacocks - Another of Mother’s brothers had two peacocks and some pheasants on the farm. Watching the peacocks spread their colorful tails was an awesome sight for children.
13. Hummingbirds – They made an appearance in summer and poked their long beaks into the flowers around the house.

As I jot down the various birds and the memories they evoke, I realize this is something anyone could do with Alzheimer’s family members.  Use them as memory joggers for your own family history ramblings, too.

(Ace Trading image at Amazon)

Post from: Blisstree

Thursday Thirteen – 13 Birds Creating Memories in an Alzheimer’s Life