As I was preparing writing lessons for a group of homeschoolers, I pulled out some childhood photos for inspiration.  I’ll have the young writers use photos of events in their lives.  However, as an example, I’ll take photos from my childhood and incorporate them in similar projects.

I looked at a photo of my family (Father, Mother, my sister, brothers and me) seated on a rock with the Cape Neddick “Nubble Lighthouse” in the background.  This brought back memories of trips from our home in New York State to visit relatives in Maine and our picnic suppers at the lighthouse view.

So, in addition to writing about family trips to Nubble Light for my class, I’m relating some memories for our family legacy.  I marvel how Mother and Father had the patience to take four children in a car (no vans or SUVs in those days).  There were simply the six of us squeezed into a two seater car with small trunk for luggage.  We traveled many miles this way, often stopping to repair flat tires. 

Do you have memories of family trips in the pre-Alzheimer’s days?  Remember the adventures, the frustration, and the fun that we captured in photos and now in words.

Additional Information:

Sentinel of the Sea - Nubble Light: a History of Cape Neddick Light Station by Rose Labrie.  (Finding a listing at Amazon of this book brought back memories, too.  I knew Rose Labrie years ago when we both belonged to the Seacoast Writers Group.)

(AllPosters.com image at Amazon)

As I was writing an article for my Country Kitchen blog, Food Memories in Community Cookbooks, I was swamped with memories of Mother in her pre-Alzheimer’s years.  Actually I have two cookbooks published by the church we attended when I was a child, one from my mother-in-law’s church, and another published by the nursing home where Mother resided. 

These cookbooks represent different eras in my life and those of my family.  They bring back memories of neighbors, Sunday school teachers, family members and several at the nursing home.  I recall occasions when many of the recipes were served.

If you have any of these community cookbooks in which your Alzheimer’s family member participated, perhaps browsing through them with her would help spark memories and conversation.  Names of other contributors could bring forth stories.

I also need (Ah! to find the time!) to go through these cookbooks and jot down memories of the recipes and the various people who played a role in my life during those eras.

Do you have community cookbooks in your life?  Or your Alzheimer’s family member?

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Many Alzheimer’s patients have memories of Pearl Harbor, the attack on December 7, 1941 that precipitated the United States’ involvement in World War II.  Some fought in the war, others worked in war related industries on the home front.  Children helped with Victory Gardens, learned about rationing, air raids, and black-outs.

I was a child during those years of World War II and give talks about this era to those who have no memories of it. 

“Write down your memories about World War II,” someone told me.  So I’ve begun doing this so that my daughter, grandchildren and future generations will have some connection with it.  My stories also have been published in anthologies about this era.

If you know your family member or residents in a nursing home lived during the World War II era, why not ask them about their memories?  Write down or capture on tape these memories as well  Compile some of these in scrapbooks or photo albums. 

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Alzheimer’s Triumphs

As I recall my experiences with Mother and Auntie and read some of the comments I receive here at Alzheimer’s Notes, I realize there are small triumphs, or joys, if we’ll but recognize them…and remember them.

Write them down in a notebook.  You can read them when you have frustrating days and add to them as you go along.  I find, even several years after Mother and Auntie’s deaths, that remembering these incidents can bring a smile and fond thoughts about these ladies.

Amanda says:  I’ve worked with demntia patients in a nursing home, and it’s very sad to see what there going through.  But I found it very rewarding also since they are still wonderful people even though they’re lost in time.

I like Amanda’s expression that they’re “lost in time.”  I learned to enjoy my experiences with Mother in another dimension of time.

Krystle, who enjoys working in geriatrics, says of one patient: He had lost ability to speak and had to be led around wherever he needed to go; eventually he lost the ability to walk. One day, after I had worked there a year or more, he spoke to me. He asked me if we were going to go get something to drink. The entire time I had worked there I had never heard him talk. It’s the small triumphs that mean all the world with Alzheimer patients.

Yes, I agree with Kristle.  Those small triumphs, whether you’re caring for a family member or someone in a nursing home, make it all worthwhile.

What are your small triumphs with your Alzheimer’s patient?

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AlzheimersNotes.com

Do you associate any memories with a rocking chair?  Perhaps it’s connected with your Alzheimer’s patient.  Did he or she enjoy relaxing and rocking?  Maybe grandchildren or great grands surrounded them, listening to stories, playing, or sewing.

I think of my mom, when she had Alzheimer’s,  sitting in a rocking chair.  My grandchildren (her great grands) surrounded her.  She reached out and touched the peach fuzz hair of the youngest, smiled and said, “Nice children.”

I don’t think she knew whose children they were and if they were related to her, but the children smiled back and enjoyed these times with Great Grandma.

Memories are made at times like these.  They may be rocking chair memories or ones involving other events.  Treasure them!

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(c)2008 Mary Emma Allen

AlzheimersNotes.com

Since Alzheimer’s patients, at a certain stage of the illness, often live in the past, why not incorporate this family legacy into time travel for the youngsters in your household this summer?  Take advantage of the Alzheimer’s member’s memories…record and scrapbook them for your family legacy.

However, youngsters are familiar with time travel books so popular nowadays.  Why not do some time travel as you delve into these memories?

• Find places on a map that Grandma tells about.
• Research how she lived when she was a little girl
• See how far back you can follow your family tree
• Find out about those eras and what people did
• Pretend you’re living in those days…and travel back in time for “pretent” adventures

For instance, I discovered one of my ancestors was Uncle William “Buffalo Bill” Mathewson (not Cody) who operated trading posts on the Santa Fe Trail.  Why not discover what life was like for him and Aunt Lizzie in the 1860s era?

What can you do this summer to join your Alzheimer’s family member and enjoy memories instead of being frustrated because they live in the past.  You’ll also discover more about your family heritage as you enjoy “time travel.”

(Amazon image; click on image for details)

(c)2008 Mary Emma Allen

AlzheimersNotes.com 

Surviving the aftermath of caregiving and a family member’s death can take a terrific toll on you.  You now have the time from those daily tasks, whether physical caretaking or visiting and overseeing in a nursing.  However, it may be too much time to think about the memories of the “might have beens” when you think you could  have done differently.

Instead, hold tight those memories that are uplifting.  I find, the longer it’s been since Mother’s death, the less the hurt and loss and the more memories that bring a smile.  Even the Alzheimer’s years memories find a pleasant nook.

*Write down some of those memories…for your yourself, your family and to help others.

*Create a scrapbook of different phases of your family member’s life.  I’ve put together one I call A Legacy of Love, about Mother and our activities and interaction with her during the Alzheimer’s years.  As I did this, I realized many of those memories were happy ones of times we brought her joy.

*Make a collage of memories to represent different occasions.

*Jot down stories about mementoes that have meaning.  I’ve begun to develop a journal with stories about Mother’s wedding dress, her wedding gift quilt, the bird identification book she used, the wedding ring she wore for more than 60 years and other items.

*Compare memories with other family members.  You’ll learn you each recall differently.

What are you doing to hold fast to those memories that will uplift you and become a heritage for future generations?

(c)2008 Mary Emma Allen