You’re caring for your parent or spouse, perhaps a friend, because you care for them, because no one else is handy, because you feel responsible.  However, often you weary of the demands of the caregiving task, especially when you have to juggle other aspects of your life.

Do you feel, even subconsciously, like a doormat?

Check out this article, Don’t Be a Doormat, at WebMD Daily and receive some tips on saying “No”…not in an uncaring or callous way, but in a diplomatic, firm, yet loving way that helps keep you from burning out.

For many women [and men], saying “No” doesn’t come naturally. But practice makes perfect, so start now! In choosing your responses, remember the K.I.S.S. principle: Keep It Short and Simple.

Your family members often say “No” to you when it comes to caregiving.  Learn to say it sometimes, too, and ask their assistance [or someone who has been there]  in finding help so you have time off or experience more relaxed duties.

What do you think about this?  Let’s chat!

(c) 2008 Mary Emma Allen

Post from: Blisstree

Are Alzheimer’s Caregivers Doormats?

Alzheimer’s in the Blogosphere, at Battling Alzheimer’s by Michael Davidsen, included Alzheimer’s Notes and Liz Lewis’ post, Brain Food for Alzheimer’s patients and their caregivers, in a round-up of blogs about this disease and caregiving.

The blog posts include articles and stories about Alzheimer’s, caregiving, humor and information, by victims, caregivers, family members, and researchers.  If you take time to check out these posts and poscast reruns, you’ll have a much better understanding of the disease and what those involved encounter. 

Hopefully you’ll receive comfort and inspiration, too. 

(c)2008 Mary Emma Allen

Post from: Blisstree

Alzheimer’s Notes Included in Blogosphere Round-Up

It’s exciting when you’re asked to share your knowledge and story at another web site or blog.  My story concerning one situation with Mother, Resolutions Aren’t Static in an Alzheimer’s World, appeared at CareStation on the AGIS site.

As soon as we resolve to follow a specific agenda or schedule when caring for our family member with Alzheimer’s, everything changes! Thus, many of our New Year’s resolutions don’t remain static.

I hoped to share here the fact that even though your life and caregiving tactics may change frequently, you can get through it.  Mother’s Alzheimer’s condition often necessitated changes in my husband’s and my plans.  This was particularly true one holiday season, a story which I relate at CareStation.

(Incidentally, Liz Lewis, my co-blogger here at Alzheimer’s Notes, recently wrote about AGIS, New Online Resource from Alzheimer’s Foundation of America and AGIS.)

(c)2008 Mary Emma Allen

Post from: Blisstree

Mary Emma Allen Guest Writer at CareStation on AGIS

   Blogging has become an important part of many caregivers’ lives, as well as numerous other people.  It keeps caregivers in touch with others in similar situations and helps them they can find encouragment.

Also, Alzheimer’s patients can visit one another’s blogs, leave comments and e-mail others so they don’t feel so alone in their unique world.

Whole Alzheimer’s patients and caregiver support communities have grown up around bloggers who link their blogs on blogrolls and web rings.   

The question, “Why do you blog?” has become the determining factor in the final (8th)week of the challenge at the b5 Business Channel.  The blogs have been narrowed down to four.  Home Biz Notes, where I co-blog with Yvonne Russell, is one of the finalists.

If you’ve been following the challenge (and if you haven’t!)  stop over at Home Biz Notes and read the final entry, “Why Do I Blog?”   Also, a portion of the final determination rests with the readers and your comments.  If you leave a comment, that will be a vote for our entry. 

Perhaps, while you’re there,  you’d like to let us know there why you blog.

(c)2008 Mary Emma Allen

Post from: Blisstree

“Why Do I Blog?” – Check Out the Business Channel Challenge Week #8

Many of you probably have a dog in your life.  Perhaps this pet helps entertain your Alzheimer’s patient.  Also, a dog may entertain you and help relieve the stress of your hectic days.  Dogs also are welcomed in many nursing homes where they provide therapy for the residents.

When Mother lived in her home, there was Tiny, who ate so much she became roly-poly.  In our multi-generational home in New Hampshire, we have Ginger.  She loves to romp in the  snow, but her paws get cold.

So when I read this post at Jen’s Domestik Goddess, How to Teach a Dog to Wear Boots, I simply had to share it with my daughter, friends who have dogs, and my Alzheimer’s Notes readers.   This may be something you’d like to try with your dog if you live in northern climates.  At any rate, most everyone will enjoy Jen’s photos, whether they have a dog or not.

(Incidentally, Jen mentions in the About section of her blog that her dogs are therapy dogs and visit old folks’ homes with her.  I wonder…with boots and all?)

Have  you ever tried boots on your dog?

(c)2007 Mary Emma Allen

Post from: Blisstree

The Lighter Side of Alzheimer’s Caregiving

Do you enjoy tea time with your Alzheimer’s family member…or have memories of family rituals involving them?  Afternoon tea was an everyday occurrence at my grandmother’s when I was growing up. 

Nanny would have her cup of tea while my aunts often sipped their coffee.  When I visited them at their Trails End Farm, I looked forward to 3 o’clock when we stopped quilting, sewing, cooking, cleaning or other tasks and sat at the table with tea, coffee, milk and cookies while we laughed and chatted.  Anyone visiting was invited to join in.

Tea for hospitality became a habit with my mom, too, one we continued even after she acquired Alzheimer’s and lived in a nursing home.  My grandchildren often visited her with me and looked forward to snacks while Mother and I sipped tea.

For Christmas this year, my daughter gave me a glass mug with tea infuser.   It also included a “tea flower” consisting of green tea scented with jasmine flowers.  This made delicious tea, actually cup after cup to keep me going the whole afternoon.  Now I’ve got to experiment with different teas and get some more flowers.

Do you have a favorite tea?  Or tea ritual?  I like to start the morning with English breakfast tea or Darjeeling.  Earl Grey is one I enjoy during the day.  I must see what flavors I can find for tea flowers, too.

How about relaxing with your Alzheimer’s family member over a cup of tea?  You may create some memories as my grandchildren and I have of tea time with Mother.

(c)2007 Mary Emma Allen

Technorati Tags: Darjeeling, English breakfast tea, quilters, quilting, tea+party, tea flower, tea infuser, tea time, Trails End Farm 

Post from: Blisstree

Memories of Tea Time Family Rituals

AGIS and Alzheimer’s Foundation of America (AFA) have teamed up to create a new Alzheimer’s and Dementia caregivers resource providing comprehensive online support for people caring for family and loved ones with Alzheimer’s Disease and dementia.

This new section includes research and medical information, current treatment options, warning signs and an Ask the Expert area that is maintained by a team of AFA licensed social workers. There is also a local search feature that will give caregivers access to specialized resources and facilities within their own community.

Post from: Blisstree

New Online Resource from Alzheimer’s Foundation of America and AGIS.

At the b5 Business Channel and Home Biz Notes, where I’m a co-blogger with Yvonne Russell, we’re involved in an 8-week “apprentice” type competition.  This week we were asked to give the prototype business owner inspiration by relating a success story.  I decided to tell about My Mother, the Country Grocer…Success Isn’t Always What You Think.  I hope you find inspiration in Mother’s story, too.

It was after Mother became ill with Alzheimer’s and I moved her to my home in another state that I began to realize how much she’d affected the lives of others during her lifetime.   Perhaps this is a lesson…value the people in our life and don’t take them for granted.  Try to see them as others do and we may realize their significance.

Do you have a “success” story to share about the Alzheimer’s patient in your life?

Post from: Blisstree

A Life Before Alzheimer’s – Mother, the Country Grocer

I know first hand and was very fortunate when my mom disappeared one morning in December when the weather, with wind chill was below zero.  I thought she was comfortably in bed, and would only wander around her kitchen and living room if she arose while I slept nearby.

I awoke and found Mother wasn’t in the house.  I looked out the front door into the blowing snow and wind.  I looked out the back door and called.  There was no sight of Mother, nor answering call.

I woke my husband and we both looked throughout the house, then put on our coats and boots.  As I opened the back door, I heard a faint, “Kitty, Kitty.  Here, Kitty.” 

There was Mother making her way up a slope beside the house. She had on a nightgown, slippers, sweather and scarf around her neck.  I rushed her inside.

“What were you doing outdoors?” I asked.

“Looking for Kitty.  I couldn’t find her.”

 ”Kitty’s here,” I replied, pointing to the cat stretched out in the rocking chair.

Then I added, “Mother it’s cold out there.  You could have frozen.”

“I’m not cold,” Mother insisted.  But she did agree to a hot cup of tea.

After she finished, and I had her in dry socks and slippers and a warm robe over her nightgown, she remarked, “I feel warmer now.”

That was when Jim and I decided we must take her to our home in another state.  What would have happened if we hadn’t been there?

Here’s an article with good tips, Act Before a Crisis To Prevent Those With Alzheimer’s Disease from Wandering, by Eric J. Hall in OurAlzheimer’s.com.

Post from: Blisstree

Winter Weather Warnings for Alzheimer’s Wanderers

Written by the Athletic Director of the University of Arkansas Razorbacks, this 92 page book offers his personal perspective (he cared for his late wife Barbara) on caregiving.

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Coach Broyles’ Playbook for Alzheimer’s Caregivers.