Today was the final straw. I had busted my rear to grocery shop, mop, vacuum, do dishes, laundry and get some work done. I was extremely tired, but needed to get dinner ready and prepare for tomorrow’s kindergarten field trip (which I am chaperoning.) Did the kids know all of this? Probably not, but did they care when I told them that I needed help cleaning up the mess? Hell no. They whined, argued and fought when I assigned menial chores to each of them. Something in me snapped and I lost my cool. I turned into Momzilla/drill sergeant from hell. I squinted my eyes, lowered my voice and got very close to their faces as I threatened the loss of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness…in that order.

For some odd reason, it worked! By the time my husband returned home, the house was clean, dinner was on the stove and the kids were saying “Yes Mam.” I know it sounds too good to be true, but it really happened. Did I spank? Nope. Did I have to put six kids in time out for three hours, just to make them do a simple two minute chore? No way. All it took was a good scare. The kids had not seen Momzilla since the show and I think it made them realize that no amount of Supernanny’s advice would override my God given right to unleash the beast when necessary!

Post from: Blisstree

Unleashing The Beast

What is the most useful weapon in killing the horrid greed monster that often grips children?

My son just turned eight. During the week of his birthday, he went to Disneyland, Chuck E. Cheese and got breakfast in bed. Still, he found things to complain about. He even went so far as to say, “This is the worst birthday ever!” Something in me snapped. The realization that I had enabled his greedy attitude by giving into his every birthday whim, came back around and bit me right in the butt. He’s not the only child in our family who has displayed such a despicable attitude of greed. The greed epidemic seems to have spread through out our brood. Something needs to change.

In your personal experiences with battling the greed monsters in your children, what tools have proven most useful? Has there been one specific cure for this very contagious ailment? I have a good mind to board the next plane to some impoverished third world country and show them what it is really like to have a “worst birthday ever.” But in reality, I know that the change I seek, needs to take place now and must start with me. Dr.Borba offers this advice over at Family Education:

Step 1: Provide your kids with experiences that focus on basic values, instead of material goods or destinations.

Step2: Cut out the frivolous treats and stand firm.

Step3: Try to cut out exposure to things that encourage greed (the media, for example)

Step 4: Teach your kids to love what they have, instead of having what they love.

There are other steps in the process of slaying the greed dragon, but for now, we are going to focus on these first four steps. In the meantime, if you would like to read Dr. Borba’s book, Don’t Give Me That Attitude, it is available for purchase at Amazon.com. Tomorrow, I shall strap on my armor and declare war against the greed! Wish me luck!

Post from: Blisstree

Slaying The Dragon

With Valentine’s Day quickly approaching, I thought that it might be nice to focus on ideas that inspire parents to spread a little more love and positivity around the home. Being a disciplinarian doesn’t mean you have to be mean. In fact, acting kindly on a regular basis, makes it easier to enforce discipline and create a greater respect for parental authority. My Peer Leadership teacher once gave a lecture on the importance of feeding each other with positivity. He made the point that all people walk around with an emotional collection bin. Every action or comment that is made toward them, during the day, goes into the bin. As the day wears on, the bin gets full and overflows. Everything that was put into the emotion bin spills out into the atmosphere. If the bin was filled with mostly negativity, then that negativity will spill out and effect others. But if we fill each other’s bins with positivity and love, then our bins will overflow with good things and create a positive chain reaction.

I have never forgotten his words and I find that positivity starts in the home. When I spend the day barking at my children and spewing negative commentary, it causes my kids to become negative Nellies, in turn. I have realized that I can greatly affect the mood of this house and all who dwell within, just by speaking and acting in love. Here are a few ideas that may help to create a more positive home environment and take very little time and effort.

1. Cut out paper hearts and laminate them. Once a day, use a dry erase marker to write a little word of appreciation or positive observation to each child. Pass out the hearts at the dinner table or any time that you are all gathered together. Make sure that they read them aloud, so that the positivity gets verbalized.
2. Write a love note and stick it in your child’s backpack, lunchbox or pocket.
3. Sit with them at bedtime and tell the story of the day that they were born. Make sure you include your feelings of joy and excitement, so that they know how special their birth was.
4. Make up a song about each child. It can be sung to a familiar tune. Be sure to sing their praises whenever they look glum.
5. Sit in a circle and have each family member say something nice about everyone in the circle. My kids were surprised to learn of the nice things that their siblings thought about them.
6. Make a collage out of magazine pictures that depicts the great things about each child. Hang it on their wall, above their beds, as a constant reminder of why you love them so much.
7. Go through old pictures and talk about the memories of when they were young. Include lots of reasons why you love each memory. It will flatter them that you actually remember things that happened so long ago!
8. Hang a picture of each family member on a poster board. Write positive adjectives on sticky labels and hand them out to each family member. Let them take turns at applying each label to the member that they feel best fits the label’s  description. Display the board for all to see.

What are some ideas that your family uses to spread a little love around?

Post from: Blisstree

Spread The Love