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	<title>Blisstree &#187; back off</title>
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		<title>Breaking Up Is Not Inevitable</title>
		<link>http://www.blisstree.com/articles/breaking-up-is-not-inevitable/</link>
		<comments>http://www.blisstree.com/articles/breaking-up-is-not-inevitable/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 06 Jun 2009 16:00:47 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Michelle Smith</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Relationships]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[back off]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Breaking Up]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[communication]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dating]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[listen]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://www.blisstree.com/?p=92106</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I read a piece from AOL Personals today about 5 of the biggest break-ups cues. I think if you are hearing some of these phrases from your partner, it&#8217;s possible that your relationship is heading toward a break-up, but it&#8217;s not inevitable.
For example, a request for space might mean just that &#8211; give your partner some space. No one wants to feel pressured or crowded. Back off, let your loved one miss you a little (this is advice that I give to my daughter&#8217;s boyfriend all the time.) 
Backing off can work two-fold. First, your partner gets the breathing room they [...]<p>Post from: <a href="http://www.blisstree.com">Blisstree</a></p>
<p><a href="http://www.blisstree.com/articles/breaking-up-is-not-inevitable/">Breaking Up Is Not Inevitable</a></p>
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			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I read <a href="http://personals.aol.com/articles/2009/05/16/the-5-biggest-breakup-phrases/?ncid=AOLCOMMlovecrssaoln0063&amp;icid=main|htmlws-main|dl4|link4|http%3A%2F%2Fpersonals.aol.com%2Farticles%2F2009%2F05%2F16%2Fthe-5-biggest-breakup-phrases%2F%3Fncid%3DAOLCOMMlovecrssaoln0063">a piece from AOL Personals</a> today about <strong>5 of the biggest break-ups cues</strong>. I think<strong> </strong>if you are hearing some of these phrases from your partner,<strong> it&#8217;s possible</strong> that your relationship is heading toward a break-up, but <strong>it&#8217;s <em>not</em> inevitable</strong>.</p>
<p>For example, <strong>a request for space might mean just that</strong> &#8211; <strong>give your partner some space</strong>. <img class="alignleft size-full wp-image-92107" src="http://www.blisstree.com/files/2009/06/dandelion-michelle.jpg" alt="dandelion-michelle" width="275" height="384" />No one wants to feel pressured or crowded. <strong>Back off, let your loved one miss you a little </strong>(this is advice that I give to my daughter&#8217;s boyfriend all the time.) </p>
<p>Backing off can work two-fold.<em> </em><strong><em>First</em>, your partner gets the breathing room</strong> they have requested. <strong><em>Two</em>, you can focus on what you want again.</strong> Sometimes <strong>we get so locked into the pursuit aspect that we lose perspective</strong>. Maybe the relationship isn&#8217;t going in the right direction for you, either.</p>
<p>If someone says that <strong>they will call you later</strong>, well they may be b<strong>usy and unable to talk.</strong> Again, I suggest backing off. People are busy. It&#8217;s not all about you.</p>
<p>If your partner is comparing you to someone else or <strong>calling your bad names</strong>, then <strong>he/she is just rude</strong>. I say it might be time to <strong>move on</strong>. Or <strong>call them on it</strong>. Say, &#8220;That is hurtful.&#8221; You don&#8217;t have to put up with abuse. That&#8217;s <em>not</em> part of a healthy relationship.</p>
<p><strong>Silence is not good</strong>. As my friend, Scarlet, told me during my last relationship, &#8220;<em>No answer is your answer</em>.&#8221;  I think she was quoting, <em><a href="http://search.barnesandnoble.com/Hes-Just-Not-That-Into-You/Greg-Behrendt/e/9781416909774/?itm=3">He&#8217;s Just Not That Into You</a></em>. She was correct. He was a two-timing jerk and I&#8217;ve happily moved on. </p>
<p>My point is this &#8211; <strong>don&#8217;t make assumptions, don&#8217;t expect the worst</strong>. These are stressful times we are living in and everyone can use a breather now and again.</p>
<p>Image credit: Michelle Smith</p>
<p>Post from: <a href="http://www.blisstree.com">Blisstree</a></p>
<p><a href="http://www.blisstree.com/articles/breaking-up-is-not-inevitable/">Breaking Up Is Not Inevitable</a></p>
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