My family had lunch with my friend Suzanne and her crew the other day. The last time I saw her was two years ago, when Truman and I drove two hours to her small town to visit with her and her two boys. Truman was barely 3 then and he tornadoed through their house, destroying a lamp and nearly giving her 2-year-old a concussion when he lobbed a toy across the room, narrowly missing the little tike. That was bad enough, but when Truman threw one of his stellar temper tantrums and swung his arms at me, actually making contact …read more

I want to know who those parents are that leave their kids alone with Michael Jackson or, worse yet, let their beautiful little boys spend the night – in the same bed – with that … man. I don’t care how much Jack-o would be willing to pony up, he’s not touching my son. I also flat-out refuse to support his plastic-surgery-and-Peter-Pan-Complex habit by financially (or otherwise) contributing any of his endeavors. Various news reports, like this from ABC News, are reporting that the one-gloved wonder will announce that he will do a series of “comeback” concerts in London that …read more

WANTED: Cat
NAME: Coco Conundrum. Aliases include Baby and That D@am M.F.’ing Cat
DESCRIPTION: Black, shiny shorthair coat. Gold eyes. About 10 inches tall. Enjoys playing at all hours of the night , climbing the drapes, and chewing paper. Curious to a fault.
DOB: Approximately June 2008
FAMILY HISTORY: Questionable
CHARGE: Fish murder and breaking my son’s heart
WARNINGS: Should be considered armed with claws and dangerous
I should have seen the warning signs. Coco Conundrum was becoming just too interested in Picasso the beta fish that Truman just had to-had to-had to have for Christmas. (We had been through four since December, unbeknownst to …read more

In theory I would like to be one of those mothers who limits my son’s television viewing to one hour a day and discourages the video games that have so corrupted this “Playstation Generation.” But for me, to be the best mum I can, I need to maintain some ounce of sanity, especially when I have to have an uninterrupted conversation with my husband or, say, buy a week’s worth groceries without blood-curdling tantrums. Which means, there are times when a video or a game is the only thing that can pacify my child – next to sedating him and, …read more

My son and I are at an impasse. He doesn’t want to wear pull-ups to bed and I don’t want to get up at 3 a.m. to change his sheets. He just turned 5 and my inner parent is telling me that he should be diaper free by now. My doctor (yes, I consulted him) says he is normal. That he will soon learn to mind his bladder at night and besides, he says, no 18-year-olds are heading off to college in pull-ups anyway.
Still, try to tell that to a 5-year-old “big boy” who is sobbing at his bedside because …read more

This week I heard about a father, aged 23, who was arrested because he had left his toddler son in the car while he went to see the new Dark Knight movie. His son, thank goodness, was alive and fine. Some people passed the car and saw him crying and sweating inside the 87F car, and called police.
It reminded me of the mother, roughly the same age, from a couple of weeks ago who had left her toddler in a hot car outside while she went inside a bar to drink for a few hours. Her child …read more