Recently I commented on an article about a stay at home dad. I appreciate his take on things, especially because his tales of trying to talk on the phone while the baby cried mercilessly were classic and exactly the types of things that work at home moms go through.

Afterward, I received quite a few emails and comments about the post. I got the impression we had a lot of stay at home dads that wanted to share their stories. I think we can all learn from each other in these new changing work times. Whether someone works in an office, stays home, works at home, is a mom or a dad or caregiver, there is a commonality that bonds us all together in this “career and kids” balance dance!

Here are a couple of the comments we rec’d from that post:

Mary Kennedy said:

“Cherie, this is a fascinating topic!! I’m a psychologist and I’ve worked with many “stay at home Dads” in my practice. Here’s what I’ve discovered. One of the biggest hurdles they face is going from a high-powered “business” environment to an unstructured “home” environment. When it’s just you and the kids at home all day, you have to set the pace. It’s hard for “stay at home Dads” to find the rhythm of their day. When you’re in the business world, the office defines it for you. So what’s the solution? Three quick bits of advice that I’ve found helpful with my clients 1) prioritize. Do the most difficult thing first. Get it out of the way when you’re fresh. 2) break up an overwhelming task, into small, manageable steps and 3) build in a small reward for yourself at the end of each day. Everyone needs to unwind, even it’s just for 15 minutes. Don’t think of it as loafing, think of it as re-charging your batteries so you can work more efficiently the next day! Hope this helps.”

I love this advice for dads and think it can easily be applied to moms who work at home as well. Mary makes a great point here in that when you’re working you’re defined by the act of going to the office. So when you’re at home, you can’t just “wing it.” You still need a plan.

Sonya said:

“Been there done that but unfortunately I was a single mom so no one really cared – it was just my duty. I bow down to the true male heroes out there.”

This is an excellent point, we can talk a lot of how hard it is to juggle career and family, but when you’re a single parent it is a million times more difficult. Just lacking the support of someone else that’s there (like a spouse) is emotionally trying. Not only that, but as Sonya said people just expect you to handle things, and people don’t seem to appreciate how difficult it is.

To that end, Sana illustrates how her and her husband worked out a schedule with comprises:

“Well, I have worked from home (although only two days a week) for about first complete year of my son. I was aware that it was not going to work if I was alone with the baby at home and have day-to-day work from office like conference calls etc. So my husband and I planned to work from home 2 same days a week and we were able to balance it out very nicely. One of us was always (well almost always) there watching the baby and working so that other one could take the calls. In fact we kind of made an arrangement so one of us would focus on work only in a separate room for couple of hours and the other one would watch baby and work and reverse the responsibilities the next couple of hours. we made the rotations and it worked nicely for us. I don’t think it is possible to get a regular work hours and focus if you are doing it all alone.”

Gully represents perhaps the best case scenario, where an employer is willing to give some concessions just to keep you on staff:

“Like all stories, there are many stories within this story that could be told, but I’ll start almost 6 years ago when we adopted 4 month old twins. My permanent residence was 900 miles from my job as a business systems analyst (which I held for two years at the time), and I would generally get home once a month or so. Shortly after the adoption, it was decided that we couldn’t continue in that fashion. That summer, while my older daughter was home from school, my wife got a job so we wouldn’t be without income. One morning that fall I walked into my boss’s office to tell my story and give notice. I never got chance to give notice. She simply said, “I don’t care where you work from. Go home.”

So I did. My wife kept her job, and I set up to work from home while at the same time taking care of the twins. A headset for the phone made it possible to comfortably diaper and telecon at the same time, and any work that required unbroken concentration was left until late at night when everyone else was asleep. That also left me awake to attend to anyone who might wake up during the night.

In the 5 years that I have worked from home, I have been back to the “office” once. I have worked hard to make it seem like I am always available and have never refused a call or ignored an email from work. My wife continues to work, and I continue as primary caregiver, since as a remote worker I don’t feel quite as secure as if I were on-site. However, if they decide to let me go tomorrow, it has gotten us over what could have been a very tough period.

When all is said and done, I do have to say that I am extremely grateful to this company (a manufacturing company no less, not a technology or web company) to have allowed me the opportunity to do this. The twins are now in kindergarten, and will start first grade in the fall, which will make things much easier during the day. Once they are in school full time, the prospect of a job outside the home becomes a possibility, but I would only do so if I were let go from my current position.”

I thank everyone for sharing these with us, and encourage others to tell their story as well!

Post from: Blisstree

Balancing Career and Kids: Do You Have a Tale to Tell?

Many people today are looking for telecommuting jobs. I know more people that telecommute in one capacity or another now than ever before. But can you make good money doing it?

In some cases, yes. I took a salary hit when I started telecommuting but then I also went into writing full-time which doesn’t pay as much as my other career in marketing. (At least not until you get really well established.)

It isn’t just writers that can telecommute, however. Here are a list of “seven surprising stay-home salaries.” Perhaps the best part of this list is the very end, which gives three tips about the realities of telecommuting. While many people telecommute to avoid the high cost of daycare, working at home isn’t a substitute for it. Nearly everyone I know who has kids and works at home tries to carve out time to work – which often means staying up late or getting up before anyone else in the house.

The good news of all this is that there are many options for working today. If you keep searching, you will find something that will work for your personal situation.

Post from: Blisstree

High Paying Telecommuting Jobs

There’s been a new phenomenon with woman and careers the last few years called the “work at home mom.” The gist is usually this: the family needs her income, can’t afford daycare, and so she manages to make some money to help the family while also being the caretaker for her children. Even if the family can afford daycare (and doesn’t “need” the woman’s salary), there are still moms who choose to work at home because of the flexibility it provides for their family.

But it’s not an easy thing. I know some women who are great at multitasking and they make it all work… but I know there are days they want to SCREAM.

I know a lot of women who do the WAHM (work at home mom) thing, but not that many guys who are doing it. So I was interested by this story from CNN, in which a new dad explains why he is trying to stay at home with his children.

His story of being on a conference call with his boss is hilarious, because OF COURSE as soon as he is on the phone, the baby starts crying… LOUD. Right into the phone. He makes the valid point that working at home is a difficult thing. It takes practice. You often have to work in spurts, focused on your work one minute but ever aware of your kids at the same time.

Or, if the kids are down for a nap, you have to focus and work while you have the quiet. Josh Lubin, the guy who wrote the article, also says that working from home takes practice. Very true! The more you do it the better able you will be to switch gears.

It should also be said that not every employer will be okay with working from home. I worked with a very professional woman who worked at home two days a week. You could always get her when you needed her, she was knowledgeable, great to work with, but our boss was not having it. Our boss would roll her eyes every time someone would suggest calling our work at home counterpart. One time I heard her say, “We could call her, but she’ll probably have a kid on her hip so how much help will she be?”

(Our boss, incidentally, was a real piece of work.)

Let me throw a question out to you all. If you’re a guy who works at home now, please comment. Let us know how you’re doing, if you’re in the same job, and if you’ll keep staying at home or go back when the kids are older. If there’s a lesson you’ve learned a long the way – please share!

Post from: Blisstree

Tales from a Work at Home Dad

If you need a part-time telecommuting gig, we have two openings here at b5 in the Lifestyles channel. One is for the Dating Dames blog and the other for Autism Vox.

Pay varies depending on the blog. I can tell you that if you want, you can blog from the comfort of your garden (just like the lady in this picture! LOL) Or you can do it in your sweatpants, or PJs…. or if you really want to get radical you could always get dressed. Up to you.

Many people are finding that blogging is a great way to make some extra cash. If you have a passion for your subject, it won’t feel like work at all.

Post from: Blisstree

Want to Work at b5?

Think the rich and famous have it easy when it comes to balancing their lives? Well… YES…. but there are a few who seem to have their feet on the ground at least! One of those is Brad Pitt. He’s got a bajillion kids right now (actually, only six) but he’s already thinking of the future and even retirement from acting.

He said, “I like the balance of it all right now, but probably at some point in the next few decades, I’ll be gone from the world of acting.”

Pitt says he wants to have his kids grow up and then will decide what to do after that. I thought this was an excellent example of someone who “has it all” and yet also knows that “it all” won’t last forever. He seems to be enjoying the moment (with his kids and career) and also thinking about what will happen next when the kids grow up and he’s not the hunky young actor he used to be.

It’s not so different from the rest of us. (Besides the money and fame, of course!) There are two things from his example that we can take away. One is that he’s grateful and living in the moment. He’s happy for what he has, but also is content that it all won’t last forever.

The second thing is that he’s looking forward. Many of us get attached to where we are right now so much that when a great opportunity comes along, we don’t even see it. We actually have to stop and realize it’s a great opportunity.

It isn’t that you can’t be content where you are. It’s just that things evolve and change. Family life and career changes, whether you like it or not. Even if you’re happy in your career, there are probably some things you don’t like but have accepted over the years (because you need to pay the bills – and rightly so!) But you don’t have to just stay planted where you are because the negatives aren’t as bad as they could be. What if there was a situation that didn’t have those negatives? Wouldn’t you at least want to consider it?

Things change even when YOU stay the same. Employers switch up things on you, coworkers leave, bosses change… even if you’re “content” you can be sure there will be things to shake you up a bit. Should you run all over looking for something new all the time? NO WAY! But you should you keep your eyes open to the all the great things the universe can send your way.

Post from: Blisstree

Brad Pitt on Life Balance