From the Akron Manual;

Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.- Matthew VI, 34.

Those words are taken from the Sermon on the Mount. Simply, they mean live in today only. Forget yesterday. Do not anticipate tomorrow. You can only live one day at a time and if you do a good job of that, you will have little trouble. One of the easiest, most practical ways of keeping sober ever devised is the day by day plan – the 24-hour plan.

You know that it is possible to stay sober for 24 hours. You have done it many times. All right. Stay sober for one day at a time. When you get up in the morning make up your mind that you will not take a drink for the entire day. Ask the Greater Power for a little help in this. If anyone asks you to have a drink, take a rain check. Say you will have it tomorrow. Then when you go to bed at night, finding yourself sober, say a little word of thanks to the Greater Power for having helped you.

Repeat the performance the next day. And the next. Before you realize it you will have been sober a week, a month, a year. And yet you have only been sober a day at a time.

If you set a time limit on your sobriety you will be looking forward to that day, and each day will be a burden to you. You will burn with impatience. But with no goal the whole thing clears itself, almost miraculously.

Try the day by day plan.

[Oh No! I quoted the Bible! I must be a religious organization!]

Post from: Blisstree

A Simple Plan

What Kind Of Beginners’ Meetings Work Best?

“Many kinds have worked well. They range from small, unplanned, informal discussions, with newcomers doing most of the talking and a different leader each time, to large sessions, prearranged in a series, with one continuing leader giving prepared talks on specific A.A. subjects.

A combination of these two types seems to work best. Groups have found that newcomers’ chances of recovery are higher if they can actively take part in A.A. discussions as soon as possible—and that they also need someone with A.A. experience to tell them the essential facts about alcoholism and our program of recovery.

Therefore, many beginners meetings include both (1) a brief talk by the leader, for not more than twenty or thirty minutes in an hour meeting, and (2) discussion by all present.”

I’d ask my friends here in this area whether they thought the beginners we see are getting a chance to participate in A.A. discussions as soon as possible when what we’re doing is “first stepping” them silly with a First Step meeting each and every time a newcomer enters our rooms. Then, we almost neglect to even mention the First Step as we go around sharing our stories … “when I first came to AA etc.”

This writing tells us that AA’s experience is that the beginners’ chances of recovery are HIGHER if they actively take part as soon as possible! How can they do that when they have no experience staying sober? No experience with the steps? No experience with a sponsor? And we do all the talking at their first few meetings?

Post from: Blisstree

What Kind Of Beginners’ Meetings Work Best?

I sat in a meeting today in a group that has a list numbered one through forty (1-40) yet no one chose any of those. The chairperson was new to chairing and has a lot to learn – this wasn’t his doing – it’s ours. Having asked for a topic or a burning desire and receiving nothing, he resorted to a First Step meeting in a manner that was nothing less than the “easier, softer way.” Can’t think of anything – is there a newcomer in the house? Okay – First Step meeting. So, please leave your topic suggestion in the comments below and I’ll update the post from day to day.

I’ll start with a few close to my heart – 1) Ego 2) Pride 3) Humility plus any one of the Twelve Steps or any one of the Twelve Traditions.

Edited: Yay! We have new topics! From my friend S.;

• Anxiety
• Letting go and Letting God
• Unreasonable expectations
• Setting the bar low
• Projecting outcomes
• Living in today

And from Linda!

• Emotional Pain
• Self-Acceptance
• Getting thru an obsession
• Positive thinking

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It might be worth considering a couple of important points that might help;

What Does A.A. Do?
1. A.A. members share their experience with anyone seeking help with a drinking problem; they give person-to-person service or “sponsorship” to the alcoholic coming to A.A. from any source.

2. The A.A. program, set forth in our Twelve Steps, offers the alcoholic a way to develop a satisfying life without alcohol.

3. This program is discussed at A.A. group meetings.

a. Open speaker meetings — open to alcoholics and nonalcoholics. (Attendance at an open A.A. meeting is the best way to learn what A.A. is, what it does, and what it does not do.) At speaker meetings, A.A. members “tell their stories.” They describe their experiences with alcohol, how they came to A.A., and how their lives have changed as a result of Alcoholics Anonymous.

b. Open discussion meetings — one member speaks briefly about his or her drinking experience, and then leads a discussion on A.A. recovery or any drinking-related problem anyone brings up. (Closed meetings are for A.A.s or anyone who may have a drinking problem.)

c. Closed discussion meetings — conducted just as open discussions are, but for alcoholics or prospective A.A.s only.

d. Step meetings (usually closed) — discussion of one of the Twelve Steps.

e. A.A. members also take meetings into correctional and treatment facilities.

f. A.A. members may be asked to conduct the informational meetings about A.A. as a part of A.S.A.P. (Alcohol Safety Action Project) and D.W.I. (Driving While Intoxicated) programs. These meetings about A.A. are not regular A.A. group meetings.

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(1) At “open meetings,” speakers tell how they drank, how they discovered A.A., and how its program has helped them. Members may bring relatives or friends, and usually anyone interested in A.A. is also welcome to attend “open meetings.”

(2) “Closed meetings” are for alcoholics only. These are group discussions, and any members who want to may speak up, to ask questions and to share their thoughts with fellow members. At “closed meetings,” A.A.s can get help with personal problems in staying sober and in everyday living. Some other A.A.s can explain how they have already handled the same problems — often by using one or more of the Twelve Steps.

Post from: Blisstree

Meeting Topics

Joe said: “The message that I carry is AA’s message. 12 steps which guarantee a spiritual awakening to be the result. My obligation is to try to share my experience with those twelve steps with other Alcoholics and to practice the 12 disciplines in all my affairs. Most important to me is that I be cognisant that this is AA’s program and AA’s steps! Not mine! My program is what brought me to AA! One path of steps which provide access to power. I do not gain power through the steps I gain access to power. All twelve steps, all day, everyday for a lifetime, to the best of my ability. This is not a program where I came to “not drink” one day at a time; it is a prgram, a design for living, that enables me to live one day at a time! That is the message I try to carry.”

Which really does work for me.

Jo said: “The message I attempt to carry is the program as outlined in the Big Book, found in the first 164, as filtered though my experience, strength and hope over the last 18 years.”

Which certainly also works for me. What I’d very much like to pass on to those who’ve begun reading here after those posts last year is what your perception is of what message we carry as sober members of Alcoholics Anonymous.

What Is “The Message?”

Post from: Blisstree

Let’s Try Again – What Is “The Message?”

You’re going to hear from folks who are called “chronic slippers.” They are not bedtime shoes, they are people who come and go, stay sober for a short time, relapse, come back etc. etc. etc.

Rob the Hat and old man Charlie used to tell a story about, of all names, a fellow named Mark who’d come into one of the Centereach groups. Mark would shake and bake for a while, stay sober for about three months, get to feeling better and then start to share about how he was thinking about drinking again. Then he would disappear.

A few months later Mark would reappear and go through the process once more. He’d shake and bake for a while, stay sober for about three months, get to feeling better then start to share about thinking about drinking, then disappear again.

After the third time Mark did this the oldtimers in the group gathered to see what ideas they could come up with to help Mark. The next time Mark did this, as he began to share about thinking about drinking, Rob, Charlie and a few others handed Mark a fifty dollar bill and told him that as long as he was going to drink again to do it up good. This scenario happened twice more.

The third time the group handed Mark a fifty dollar bill and told him to do it up good, he looked at them and yelled “F’ YOU!!!” Rob, Charlie and the others smiled as they said “Now you’ve got it!”

It has been my experience by listening and observing folks who keep slipping that there are consistencies in their stories and how they speak. One thing they invariably say is that they have been around AA for however long they choose to tell us.

Be a Don M. penguin – get in the middle!

Post from: Blisstree

Around – And Around – And Around

GOD, grant me the serenity
to accept the things
I cannot change,
Courage to change the
things I can, and the
wisdom to know the difference.

Living ONE DAY AT A TIME;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardship as the
pathway to peace.

Taking, as He did, this
sinful world as it is,
not as I would have it.

Trusting that He will make
all things right if I
surrender to His Will;

That I may be reasonably happy
in this life, and supremely
happy with Him forever in
the next. Amen

Just mho, it never gets old and the repetition can’t hurt…

Post from: Blisstree

The Serenity Prayer – Long Version – Repeated

Equality

To me, this could be one of the Top Ten ideals/principles we can strive for. Shamefully, there are folks who, imho, differ and differ out loud and irrationally. Consider;

“Our membership ought to include all who suffer from alcoholism. Hence we may refuse none who wish to recover. Nor ought A.A. membership ever depend upon money or conformity.”

Conformity eh? What does that mean? To me that means that those who would judge me less than a real alcoholic because I say I’m recoverin(g) instead of recovere(d) – can go to he**! I have no requirement to conform to your controlling insanity of perfection!

Thank God the real oldtimers were experienced enough to tell us “We realize we know only a little” rather than your all knowing spewage…

“Any two or three alcoholics gathered together for sobriety may call themselves an A.A. group, provided that, as a group, they have no other affiliation.”

And if they don’t do “it” my way, I have the choice to change the channel to another station.

“Prior to A.A., I often felt that I didn’t ‘fit in’ with the people around me. Usually ‘they’ had more/less money than I did, and my points of view didn’t jibe with ‘theirs.’ The amount of prejudice I had experienced in society only proved to me just how phony some self-righteous people were.”

That’s right – I just called you self-righteous. A self-righteous a** I might add. My POV doesn’t conform to yours and you’re willing to fight to the end to make us conform. My, how sober! Yeah – that was meant to be sarcastic.

“After joining A.A., I found the way of life I had been searching for. In A.A. no member is better than any other member; we’re just alcoholics trying to recover from alcoholism.”

You are dispensing all that death you accuse us of giving out to newcomers when you chase people away with your “Perfect Alcoholics Anonymous.” An AA they find impossible to live up to because they are required to live every single syllable of the Big Book every waking moment of every day. If you spot it, you got it.

End rant…

Post from: Blisstree

Equality

“Then it is explained that other steps of the A.A. program can be practiced with success only when Step Three is given a determined and persistent trial. This statement may surprise newcomers who have experienced nothing but constant deflation and a growing conviction that human will is of no value whatever.”

Are there really newcomers like that? (j/k)

“They have become persuaded, and rightly so, that many problems besides alcohol will not yield to a headlong assault powered by the individual alone. But now it appears that there are certain things which only the individual can do.”

Gonna leave a newcomer with themselves eh?

“All by himself, and in the light of his own circumstances, he needs to develop the quality of willingness. When he acquires willingness, he is the only one who can make the decision to exert himself. Trying to do this is an act of his own will.”

Despite what some might think, no, you can’t force someone else’s will upon them

“All of the Twelve Steps require sustained and personal exertion to conform to their principles and so, we trust, to God’s will.”

[Sustain]

Therefore, it seems, as I was told and experienced, there is no such thing as “microwave” sobriety. And I can’t solve mine or your problems by bulldozing my way through them based on self-will. I have to ask for spiritual help.

Post from: Blisstree

Why They Said I Bulldozed Through Life

“Living Sober,”

“Like almost any other ideas, the suggestions in this booklet can be misused.” Exactly like the suggestions in a meeting can be misused. And? The point? Won’t it all be what it will be according to someone else’s plan anyway?

Looking at the slogan “Easy Does It” the book says;

“Some of us have found that we could abuse this sensible notion, turning it into an excuse for tardiness, laziness, or rudeness. That is not, of course, what the slogan is intended for. Properly applied, it can be healing; misapplied, it can hinder our recovery. Some among us would add to it:”

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“Easy Does It – But Do It!”

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I know that many of you will continue to apologize for showing up late for a meeting. Have any of you noticed that these meetings you show up late to, started without you? Hmmmmm?

“We have found that for us recovery began with not drinking – with getting sober and staying completely free of alcohol in any amount, and in any form. We have also found that we have to stay away from other mind-changing drugs. We can move toward a full and satisfying life only when we stay sober. Sobriety is the launching pad for our recovery.”

If, using my common sense, that isn’t saying that the definition of sober is truly “clean and sober” then I don’t know what I’m reading… yeah, it’s a bitc* getting sober of you’re still drinking.

Post from: Blisstree

Awaken Your Common Sense

I’ve been accused of a lot of things in my life. Most recently, my feelings (and my friend Mike’s feelings) were accused of killing suffering human beings. That’s pretty caustic but not unusual, for the person who made the accusation is obviously in a defensive state of mind. Gosh, I’ve been there too.

In the 12 & 12, in the talk on the Fourth Step;

“The sponsors of those who feel they need no inventory are confronted with quite another problem. This is because people who are driven by pride of self unconsciously blind themselves to their liabilities. These newcomers scarcely need comforting. The problem is to help them discover a chink in the walls their ego has built, through which the light of reason can shine.”

The dilemma? Well, let’s see… so many express that they get upset when an “oldtimer” is crusty and holds nothing back when telling the newcomer the truth. At the same time they’ll look to the literature for a comforting answer. About like the person who goes from sponsor to sponsor, sponsor shopping, until finally they find the one who will co-sign their bs and give them the answer they seek. Right up there in that quote it says “These newcomers scarcely need comforting.”

Directly from our literature! Their ego has built a wall, a solid wall without any deformities or holes through which reason can enter. They don’t even have the opportunity to worship the God of Reason! (That’s also from our literature!). Further on, the talk says “For most of us, self-justification was the maker of excuses; excuses, of course, for drinking, and for all kinds of crazy and damaging conduct.” We had made the invention of alibis a fine art.”

Crazy and damaging conduct? Reads thusly, “It is because of people like yourself that a sick person might pass on and not get the help because of the self righteous rhetoric that your mouth spews forth.”

Further still, we read “But in A.A. we slowly learned that something had to be done about our vengeful resentments, self-pity, and unwarranted pride. We had to see that every time we played the big shot, we turned people against us. We had to see that when we harbored grudges and planned revenge for such defeats, we were really beating ourselves with the club of anger we had intended to use on others. We learned that if we were seriously disturbed, our first need was to quiet that disturbance, regardless of who or what we thought caused it.”

Slowly learned. Big Shot – which in this instance I will personally point at one person proclaiming themselves “recovered” after less than four years away from their last drink, having never to drink or drug again! Harbored grudges. Isn’t it possible that when harboring grudges one of the ways it manifests itself is through character assassination? Anger? That previous paragraph makes a clear reference, I believe.

Then, to end this portion of this discussion, we read “To see how erratic emotions victimized us often took a long time. We could perceive them quickly in others, but only slowly in ourselves. First of all, we had to admit that we had many of these defects, even though such disclosures were painful and humiliating. Where other people were concerned, we had to drop the word “blame” from our speech and thought. This required great willingness even to begin. But once over the first two or three high hurdles, the course ahead began to look easier. For we had started to get perspective on ourselves, which is another way of saying that we were gaining in humility.”

Blame. I think most would agree that this statement “Old timers like yourself kill suffering people because of how self-righteous you feel” may not use the word blame but is all about blame. That’s pretty bad behavior friends. It isn’t honest and is definitely justification for the bad behavior both before and after it. All that aside however, it most certainly is nothing like making a gain on humility!

Again from our literature – “Here are the steps we took, which are suggested as a program of recovery:” Somehow this has become rather repugnantly twisted into “Remember a person cannot work your ‘program’ and you can’t work theirs.” So, now we each have our own program? Here’s a news flash! MY program gets me drunk! Run that past any sponsor worth their weight in sobriety.

A program of recovery A program of recovery A program of recovery A program of recovery A program of recovery A program of recovery A program of recovery!!!!!

Perhaps next we’ll discuss anonymity and the only requirement for membership and a few more Traditions that have been vehemently ignored. Perhaps?

Post from: Blisstree

Driven By Pride Of Self