However, there are men who need not resort to rudeness or callous behaviours to be called men. They see no need to break necks or be serial monogomists to exercise their manhood. They respect women; are gentlemen; know things such as honour and chivalry.

In and around relationships, whether platonic or romantic, men will find themselves in a situation wherein they have to balance their masculinity in dealing with women. Perhaps asking the question, “what should a man do or say in this given situation?” Or “should I give in and be seen a wuss or hold my ground since I am the man?”

I’d like to focus on a simple example, communicating with women — partner or friend.

Some men fail in this aspect in relationships. They often liken women to how men think. They, sometimes, expect women to see things and situations the way they do. They would neglect in altering their manner of addressing these women, which may cause significant damage to the relationship. Esp when the man is dating or in a relationship with that woman. Women friends have a higher tolerance for any failure to communicate properly. The former can easily be disappointed and, oftentimes, offended and hurt. Though, this is not saying that the woman is weak and easily dissuaded; the damage, irrepairable.

The manner in how a man communicates with his partner matters a great deal. Pitch, tone, and choice of words should be considered. Again, I’m not saying that this gives you license to lie or deceive. I’m merely pointing out that a man should be respectful and polite in communicating. His partner is not a slave that you can order around or malign. And even women friends aren’t like your mates whom you can dish out crude jokes or mercilessly jeer.

If we talk about couple arguments, it’s quite understandable that frustration and anger can also be felt by men, which can trigger offending manners in communicating. But we all know that we ought not to act on our anger, right? Cuz, more often than not, we end up doing something foolish, which we’ll soon regret.

My personal advise to men: “sweet talk” them women. Be the better man all the time. Use a more mellower tone. Be the rational voice in arguments. Soothe her worries with comforting and securing words (again, this is not an excuse to lie and deceive). Be polite. Be a gentleman. Let the women be the emotional creatures that they are and accept that. Treat them as you would treat your own mother or sister.

This doesn’t mean you’re a lesser man after it’s all over. It doesn’t signify that you’ve lost your masculinity. And it doesn’t mean you’re a wimp that women can easily manipulate. If you truly understand what I’m trying to say about this topic, then you’ll know that I’m simply trying to let you know that this “advise” is meant to better your communication skills.

Did I make sense?

Post from: Blisstree

Sweet Talk, It Helps

Like I said, there are situations wherein an individual is faced with the possibility of getting rejected. Now, the question I want to raise is this: Is there a perfect way of handling rejection?

In most situations, most if not all, will lose their composure. They can stomp, rant, scream, cry, or even (god forbid) be violent. However, I reckon it depends on how emotionally stable that person is and how the person goes about rejecting the other.

Personally, how I react varies. If it triggers a painful emotional scar then yea I’d be throwing a fit — seemingly mimicking a ghost of the past, which is hard actually since it’s like I’m going against two things, the present AND the past. Exhausting, really. But there are times when logic and rational thinking kick in. I’m so lucid that’s it’s scary.

I can quite understand the blow to the ego and all. Makes it all the more harder to take, IMO. Though, if people are compassionate and properly communicate — politely and warmly communicate — then it’s bearable, I think. Don’t brush me off. Don’t say goodbye in an email. Don’t say no and not make me understand your reasons. Don’t use mediums or reasons that obviously ONLY suitable to your own convenience.

But yea, I do wonder if there is someone out there who actually handles rejection quite well.

What about you guys? How do you handle rejection? Is there a limit to how much of it you can take? What are your pet peeves?

Post from: Blisstree

WWYD: Handling Rejection

Well, okay. Let me give it a go and list some of the things they talk about: Makeup and girly stuff while freshening up, recent shopping haulage, latest gossip (either showbiz or family or friends, whatever they’re most interested in), men and sex (depends on how bashful these friends are about that topic) or just a chance to compare notes or catch up on small things if they’re with a crowd and it’s the only time they can get away and talk.

Quite recently, I overheard a conversation among three snotty high school kids in the aforementioned location. Can you guess what they were talking about? Well, basically, they were gossiping about and getting a laugh at the expense of their classmate whom they think are not as “cool” as they are. Nice, yeah? Well, that’s cold hard truth. Cool, indeed. Heh. Some people find the comfort of toilets befitting of such behaviour.

Personally, I’m not the type who practices this sort of thing, needing to go to the bathroom with my girlfriends. I can go to the toilet on my own but of course I won’t turn away an offer to be accompanied by a friend who needs to go to the toilet, too. Conversation is to be expected if you’re with someone, right? But we don’t use going to the bathroom as an excuse to hold a meeting or whatever. I can always single out friends to talk in private outside the bathroom, just away from the group we’re with. Or perhaps schedule a different time to have that talk.

You guys have any idea on what sort of things girls talk about in the bathroom? Do you really think that it’s something that men should pay any sort of attention to? Is it really something significant?

Discuss.

Post from: Blisstree

What do girls talk about in the bathroom?