I sometimes wonder if it’s me being melodramatic, or if it’s accurate that while I have a lot of people in my life, and a lot of activities to share in, I have very few quality relationships. I am no one’s best friend. There’s no one who sees me as their great love.

In general, I feel like I have a lot of acquaintances, a few friends, and literally no one that I can talk to about everything on my mind, and know I will get an open, non-judgmental ear. I want that so badly – but then I wonder, is that asking too much?

I try to be that person to the people who are important to me. Am always there for them when they go through breakups, or job stress, or life dramas. And they are sort of there for me, but never to the degree. Do I just give too much? Or am I giving what isn’t even being asked for?

I’d love to see your thoughts – do you see you have unequal friendships? Do you get what you give? Do you expect to?

It’s interesting how in dating, there is “the rules” and “the secret”…but in friendship, we pretty much take it, or leave it, as it goes.

Image: Sxc.hu

Post from: Blisstree

Levels of Friendship

I have a situation that I am at a total loss of what to do about.

Several years ago, I became acquainted with a friend through several other mutual ones. She’s one of those awesomely strong women – she moved cross-country on her own straight out of college, is brilliant, and when she tragically lost her husband before even hitting their 30th birthdays, she soldiered on, moving again, on her own, and setting up stakes in a new state in a new house, just her and her dogs and her bunny.

We bonded pretty quickly, and because we lived in different states, would only see each other every few months and would predominantly have frequent marathon IM sessions about everything from sex to mutual friends to work. We talked all the time, and gave each other tons of advice – tough talk and otherwise.

Several years have gone by, and this weekend, I visited her home and stayed with her for the weekend. We had an awesome time – she took me out for a belated birthday dinner, we shopped, we talked. When I mentioned having worrisome problems with my computer, and not being able to afford a new one right now, she GAVE me her old one – a laptop she used to use but had sat forgotten for the past two years since upgrading to a newer model.

The end up of this story is that today I came home, and as starting up this new computer, I noticed a folder on the desktop “aly therapy”…filled with ichat transcripts of every single conversation we had had up until the point she stopped using this computer. These transcripts were, weirdly, also saved in text and internet explorer format, as well as in a giant zip file.

I am in shock. Saving it like that makes me wonder…why? And what she really thought of me. But…this is something that happened two years ago, and since then, she’s been an awesome friend. I would have never known she did this if she hadn’t made this really generous gesture now. Should she be punished for it? Should I not say anything at all?

I don’t know what to do! Help me, fair Blisstree readers!

Image: Sxc.hu

Post from: Blisstree

True Colors Shining Through?

Doesn’t it seem that when something is bothering us, we think we’re the only person on the planet experiencing whatever that hurdle is?

Weight gain, career issues, family issues (I KNOW my family is weirder than yours)…kids, husband, house…whatever it may be — we believe we are all alone.

And sometimes it’s not really a hurdle, as much as it is a character trait:

I like to pretend I’m a Broadway dancer, play the soundtrack from A Chorus Line and dance around my office.

I’ve never told anyone that small little tid bit, because like so many of us, I’m afraid of being judged or ridiculed — plus who would I tell?

Truth be told, since I left the traditional work place to start The Pet Set, I have less true friends.

Recently, I experienced a blip my personal health screen, which had me worrying for days.

Keeping everything to myself, I reviewed my entire family’s health history and decided that I probably have 2 years to live.

(I’m exhausted just thinking about my crazy thought process.)

Then one day, I decided to have a chat with a friend of mine, who with sensitivity and wisdom, blurted out:

EVERY WOMAN I KNOW is going through what you are describing:->

This does not discount the need for me to get checked out…but boy I sure don’t feel as hopeless or lame.

Share with your girl friends.

Post from: Blisstree

Girlfriends Are Fabulous