For example, I was at the gym today.  Changing.  As I put on my shorts, a women in her late 40s/early 50s walked up to me.  When she was about a foot away from me, she said (very loudly), “And what are you?!?  A size zero or something?”  She wasn’t laughing, she wasn’t joking around.  She was… well… kind of mad. 

It was strange. 

Was she mad at me?  I wanted to tell her, “Hey, honey.  Chill.”  But instead I just shook my head in shock and answered, “No, I’m not.”  (And truth be told, I’ve never been a size zero, for the record.)

People with eating disorders know about this anger, I think.  Hey, try saying something totally laid back about anorexics or bulimics or binge eaters on a blog like Breaking the Mirror–the angry comments can often be brutal.  I’ve been called everything from a “wannarexic” to a “retard”.  It’s interesting.  And bizarre.

Anyway, I’ve come to the conclusion that the topic of weight and size infuriates people.  I’m not certain why, exactly, but it seems to make otherwise rational persons go nuts.

Thoughts?

Post from: Blisstree

Anger and eating disorders

Therefore, I suppose it shouldn’t be too surprising that plenty of women and men with eating disorders such as anorexia, bulimia and binge eating turn to self-mutilation.

Don’t believe me? Just head to any pro-ana or pro-mia discussion board. (Or don’t – I wouldn’t want them to trigger any latent EDs.) The subject of “cutting” appears far more frequently than you might imagine.

I’ve tried to uncover figures to see how many anorexics, bulimics and binge eaters tend to “cut” or perform another self-injurious action. Here’s what I’ve found thus far:

• At CaringOnline the authors report that “…A study by Favazza and Conterio (1989) states that episodic and repetitive self-mutilation are frequently seen in conjunction with, or as a replacement for, eating disorders. In a study of 290 self-mutilating women, they found that 22% of the subjects suffered from only bulimia nervosa, 15% from anorexia nervosa and 13% from both disorders, for a total of 50%.”

• At MentalHelp.net, Allan Schwartz, Ph.D. states “…It is not unusual for some people suffering from eating disorders to engage in direct bodily self-harm in an attempt to reduce the emotional pain and suffering. The self-harm can occur in the form of cutting and self-mutilation with a razor, knife or any sharp instrument.”
• TroubledTeen101 claims “…because teens who self-injure or self-mutilate often do not know how to ask for help, it is important to watch for some of these signs that a teen may be harming him or herself, or is at risk for doing so:… Unexplained injuries, such as cuts, scratches, burns, bruises, etc.;… A history of eating disorders…”

When I was at my worst, I never cut, but I would sometimes hit my thighs as hard as I could just to FEEL something besides the agony of loneliness and depression.

Does this whole connection between eating disorders and self-harm resonate with you?

Post from: Blisstree

On the “cutting” edge of eating disorders

They are about the present.

They are about how much we weigh today, how little we ate today, how many calories we expended today. They aren’t about planning five or ten years down the road; no, they are part of the “here and now.”

Yet for most people who suffer from anorexia, bulimia, EDNOS or binge eating disorder, the future does come. And for many, a full-fledged battle with ana or mia subsides into a period of recovery. However, the scars and wounds inflicted during the months, years or even decades of an eating disorder can literally stick with someone for life.

Consider these long-term problems so often experienced by former anorexics and bulimics:

• Infertility – Because female anorexics (and some bulimics) can experience amenorrhea (loss of menstruation), their reproductive systems may be comprised during the battle with ana or mia. Thus, years down the road, a fully recovered woman man not be able to naturally have children due to problems stemming from her ED.
• Osteoporosis – A lack of food eventually causes the body to leach nutrients from itself, including calcium. I’ve known of women in their 30s who have done so much damage to themselves that their bones are as brittle as a senior citizen.
• Heart Damage – Whether it’s from starving oneself or bingeing and purging, damage to the heart is very common in former anorexics, bulimics and even binge eaters. Once it’s been diagnosed, the individual must forever be cautious.

So the question becomes – is all this worth it? Is living for today worth risking tomorrow? At my age (mid-thirties), the answer is no. But when I was in my teens and depressed, I couldn’t see beyond high school let alone college. And I honestly didn’t care what happened.

How can we encourage young people (and older ones) with eating disorders that it’s worth suffering through a difficult recovery to enjoy years that aren’t fraught with irreparable health issues?

Is it even possible?

Post from: Blisstree

The eating disorder is gone… but the scars remain

Post from: Blisstree

Top Eight Ways to Be an Eating Disorders Recovery Advocate