Some,

It makes me think that AJ was one of the lucky ones to be placed in the orphanage. When you watch you will see that so many of the children are actually abandoned on the streets by their biological parents and know their parents don’t want them. What that does to their emotional state I can’t imagine. like Slava, run away because of the home-life; alcoholism, violence, neglect.Some are left without papers, which I can only assume means they can’t travel anywhere or ask for help from an orphanage (without proof of identity how can you prove who you are?). One child stated that at age five his parents left him on the street with this papers and he was able to make his way to an orphanage. Lucky kid.Most of these children endure harsh temperatures in the winter, little food, and most turn to prostitution and drugs early to make money.

In the 1990’s Russia noticed a vast increase in these street children and has done a tremendous amount to reduce the number of children on the streets. However, in 2007 there were 10,000 children living in Moscow. he official number right now is about 700,000 but most feel the real figure is between 2 and 4 million.It really makes me feel that AJ was lucky to be placed in an orphanage. I still don’t feel like we “saved” him from a street life. Most importantly, Russian Social Services did that when they intervened on the day of his birth.And you know what? I am beginning to think that that is there was someone very important looking after him that day.

Post from: Blisstree

Russian Street Children

Adoption has become a very controversial topic lately not only because of posts like this but even in the general public when people like Madonna adopt children who have parents still in the picture (and not ready to relinquish).

My husband and I adopted because we are infertile. We hope we are not, as many people see adoptive parents these days, baby stealers. We are parents of a fabulous 4 year old but we don’t think that we deserved him any more than anyone else deserves a child. Our journey to him was just as unique, just as adventurous, and just as special as anyone else’s pregnancy or adoption.

Our infertility is not the result of STD’s, weight, smoking, an abortion, age, or anything else self inflicted or choice related. Our infertility is the result of poor genetics and inherited reproductive issues. We were 26 when we started trying to get pregnant and we were nervous. I had already had one surgery to help with scar tissue and we knew that there was a possibility that I would be unable to conceive. What we did not know was that my husband had fertility issues as well.

My OB knew of all of my female issues so he sent us to a specialist after 6 months (most OB’s won’t even talk to you without trying for a year). We did some more testing and then one round of ICSI. What we found out after that one unsuccessful round was that we had LESS than one percent chance of conceiving WITH medical assistance.

So, when people say things like But infertility is a medical problem – not a social issue – that needs to be resolved with medical treatments and with preventative education. It is NOT resolved by being the recipient of a child that a mother was pressured – because of no alternatives – to let go because they don’t agree with adoption practices it breaks my heart.

Should we have lived the rest of our lives childless because medicine couldn’t help us or should we have been able to adopt a child?

Our first son was in a Russian orphanage for two years before we adopted him. His biological mother and father never visited him. They never sent one letter or message to him. They never attempted to make contact with him and didn’t even show up for court the day of his relinquishment hearing.

Were his birth parents pressured to relinquish him? (We know that social services stepped in.) Did we steal him from them? (Is it stealing if there is no contact?) Did we use our infertility as an excuse to adopt? (No, it was our way to build our family.)

Every country has their own political woes, poverty, and social injustice. I, however, am not fine with women having babies for ffinancial gain or for adoption representatives selling babies to make a buck and if I thought our second son was in that position I would NOT be adopting him.

Adoption has become an open subject (as it should be) but it needs reform. Unfortunately, its not all about open adoption records but how birth mothers are perceived in the media, the adoptive parent/birth parent relationship, how international adoptions are processed, how agencies run their programs, and I could go on. But, that is all for later…

Clicking publish. Your turn to talk.

Post from: Blisstree

Adoption; Infertility, Baby Stealing, and the need for Reform