I admit that I don’t know much about open adoption because we have two closed adoptions. Our adoptions are closed. They are international adoptions. We are okay with that.

Do we talk to AJ about his birth mother? No. He can’t handle it yet. I wish he could but he can’t. We talk to him, instead about Russia. About the orphanage. About the country he came from, not about “where” he came from.

I wish I could because she is part of me too. No matter where my child is from his birth parents are a part of him and we need to teach him that. We need to show him that. With AJ we just need to allow him to guide us and let us know when it is the right time. Read more

One of my favorite bloggers wrote a heartfelt post just under two years ago on how thankful she is for her beautiful and spirited daughter whom she relinquished for adoption at birth.

Please read her elegant words.

Today’s guest post is from yet another b5media writer and adoptee. Julie Bonner has an amazing birth story and journey.

Adoption has always been a close topic to my heart. I was adopted when I was 8 months old. I went back and forth for years when I was a teenager trying to decide if I wanted to search out my birth mom. I never took that leap of faith and I really didn’t realize why until I was older. It was because I was scared. I was scared that I would open myself and my family up to a relationship that would be destructive. I had enough destructive relationships in my life at the time to keep 5 of me busy. Why add one more?

I also had the fear of not being wanted. What if I did finally find my birth mom and then she wanted nothing to do with me? What if I opened up old wounds for her that she had tried so hard to forget? For years and years there were these questions swirling around in my head. So, I did nothing until late one night on a whim.

It was very late and I was surfing the Internet. I ended up on this adoption forum. How? To this day I still don’t know how or why, but it was an event that would change my life forever. I was reading all these postings from people who were searching for their birth parents or from ones who had already found them. There was one comment that hit me so hard that I just sat there at my computer sobbing. One girl had finally tracked down her birth mom after looking for 2 years. When she finally found out who she was, it was too late. Her birth mom had already passed away. She was devastated and offered one word of advice to those of us thinking about taking that leap. She said “Do it”. Do it before it’s too late and you end up regretting a decision that you can never take back.

So, I took her advice and started my search. I was one of the lucky ones. It took me only two weeks to find out who my birth mom was and get her contact info. How did I do it so fast? I found some old Texas documents that someone had scanned and posted on the Internet. They were old birth records from the county I was born in. I scanned and scanned the document until I found my birth date. All I had to do was match my birth certificate number to one of the names of the women.

I had to rush order a birth certificate and when it got to me, I ripped that envelope open so fast, grabbed the documents I had printed out and one of the numbers matched. To say that I had a dozen emotions flooding through my body would be an understatement! I was excited, scared, elated, happy and totally freaking out all at once. Now I just had to track down my birth mom’s married name and address. I contacted one of the adoption angels from the forum I visited and within a day she sent me who she was 99% sure was my adopted mom’s information. She suggested writing her a letter instead of calling because calling is a little invasive. So, I wrote the letter, put a picture of my family in there and mailed it off. That was in August of 2006.

On July 4^th, I received an email from my birth mom. I was shaking as I read the email. I had no idea what to expect. Would she tell me to leave her alone? Would she be happy? Needless to say, she was ecstatic to hear from me. We emailed back and forth a few times and then I called her. Hearing her voice, MY birth mom’s voice for the first time was an experience I will never forget. I felt so complete at that moment. I finally knew that she was something that was missing in my life. She was someone that I needed and I had waited all these years to do something about it. I will not allow myself to regret waiting so long, but instead look toward the future.

My birth mom was married and had two kids who were younger than I was. We all wanted to meet, so she flew me out to Texas to spend a few days with them. For my entire childhood and teenage years we lived 30 minutes from each other. 30 minutes!! I spent a few days in September of 2006 with her and her family. I was able to meet her mom, her sisters, her husband and kids. It was an instant bond with everyone. My half sister and I are so alike it’s scary.

A few months later, her and her family visited Georgia, where we were living at the time, and they got to meet my husband and 3 kids. Again, instant bonding. We had so much fun together and felt like we had known each other for years.

It’s now been over two years since she came into my life and it has been amazing. I don’t get to see them as much as I would like, but we talk on the phone and she sends my kids crazy good packages for their birthdays, Christmas and other holidays. My kids call her grandma and her husband grandpa, as well as my half sister and brother aunt and uncle. It just felt natural for them to call them that.

I am so thankful for that late night that I decided to surf the Internet and ended up on that adoption forum. I am so thankful for the fact that my birth mom wanted me in her life and that things have worked out so amazingly well. I know that my case is rare. I have had people who are adopted hear my story and it has made them want to search out their birth parents. I always advise them to not go into it with any expectations. Just take that leap of faith only if you are truly ready for whatever may happen.

Thanks for listening to my story. I would love to hear some of yours!

–
Julie Bonner
Staff Writer
www.b5media.com

I met Michelle last year via the internet. I entered Bloggy Giveaway and won a beautiful white baby blanket with mint green stars. At the time we were in adoption limbo…between Guatemala and domestic so when she heard that baby Gus had the blanket with him as his transition blanket I think she cried.
If you put 5 families,formed by adoption in a room, you would hear 5 very unique adoption stories. If you were to ask those 5 families what the relationship with their child’s birthmother is, you would hear 5 unique relationships.

In my family’s case, in 2005 our lives were changed forever when a pregnant woman went to our adoption agency and chose our profile from a pile of others. She and her partner, like my husband and me, were open to the idea of open adoption. She and her partner, like my husband and me, wanted to meet the other party involved before committing any further. In July, just two weeks before our daughter’s birth, we met for the first time.

After that first meeting, we agreed to moving forward with an open adoption, meaning that we would exchange identifying information, and that the adoption records would be, in essence, open. It meant that we could, when we were ready, exchange emails and phone numbers, and proceed with communication without the aid of our adoption agency. Read more

Because this month is National Adoption Month I have asked some of my favorite bloggers to Guest Post here and tell their adoption stories. You all know my story; an international one. I thought you might want to hear from Foster Mothers, First Moms, Adoptees, and Moms who have adopted domestically. So, all month I will be bringing their stories to you.

Today we have our first Guest Post from Overwhelmed with Joy, a mother who adopted domestically. On her blog she calls him Snuggle Bug. You can also read about their foster daughter, Boo, whom they would like to adopt. This Guest Post is about her son’s birth.

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My husband and I were one of the lucky adoptive couples that were allowed to be present the day our son was born, in December of 2004.  His birth parents called us as they were heading to the hospital and told us, “Get over here, quick!”   We raced to the car, our stomachs swirling with excitement and anxiety, and stamped down the urge to speed as we drove to the hospital.  We arrived before our son’s birth mother was taken to her birthing room. Read more

The CNA has announced that the birth mother interview process will end on August 31. All interviews must be completed by that date or the case will be turned over for review.

Please see the CNA website or Guatadopt for more information.

This week marks the week that we traveled to Russia, three years ago. Can you believe that? It is hard for me to believe because we have encountered so much and everything in our lives has changed.

We don’t often talk with AJ about his adoption because it brings up memories for him that are very hard for him to process. We do talk to him about where he is from and we talk to him a little about Russia and the Desky Dom (orphanage) but we never actually talk with him about his birth mother or the actual process of adoption because he just does not understand it. Read more

I have a new philosophy. I’m only going to dread one day at a time.

Charles M. Schulz, Charlie Brown in “Peanuts”

There are days in our lives where we awaken delighted in what we are doing and there are days we awaken dreading what the sunshine will bring us. Most days we have control over the the kind of car we drive or what we eat…we even have control over what happens throughout the day. Should we answer that phone call or let it ring, pay the bills or forget about them until tomorrow?

What we don’t have control over is other’s actions, thoughts, feelings, whereabouts.

Anxiety sets in as I know that my future son’s birth mother meets with PGN today to tell her story all over again. Is her story true? In my gut I feel it is. But, what if it isn’t?

Over the past few years NPR has offered up a fabulous series on adoption, not only stories and journals about adoptions covering domestic but also transracial, international, birth mother, and adoptee.

Their latest story is that of an orphan in the 1950’s.

In 1994 they presented The Many Faces of Adoption with four families out of the 1.6 million American families with adoptive children.

I have waited to post anything about the birth mother interviews in Guatemala because it is so hard for me to write about…so hard for me to think that Gus’s birth mother has to go back, yet again, and explain her situation to people who don’t know anything about her and her life. Read more