Creating Boundaries

When it comes to the people in your life, do you find it difficult to create solid boundaries or do you find yourself agreeing or committing to requests that complicate your life?

What about people who make you uncomfortable in your own home? How do you alert them that you would rather they not visit or call you?

I’ve always been much better with the written word than a face-to-face or phone conversation. Recently I found myself in just such a position. I had to alert a relative who makes me feel so uncomfortable that I would rather she not visit or call me – but rather if she had a message to relay, she could call my husbands cell phone and get word to us that way.

I’d made my request four different times in writing. Three times directly to her and once through a friend of the family. Those methods didn’t seem to work.

I’d been back into a corner and had no other option but to call. Thankfully I got the answering machine and was able to leave the message – but not without a quivering voice.

Isn’t it terrible that people can make you feel so horrible? And what I don’t understand is why they would want to to begin with.

I’m hoping the book Boundaries will help give me a more clear method to use – because apparently I’m going about this all wrong.