IMG: Sxc.hu

Without going into too many details, this letter showed me that she has a low self-esteem of herself and the way she looks. It broke my heart to read these words and to remember back then and think of how she was feeling. I remembered how those first crushes could be and how much feelings hurt when things didn’t turn out. Now this happened this past Thursday, I’ve yet to tell her. I mean what do you say? Sure, I didn’t mean to read it, I’d tried reading her story. But it is like reading a diary, just not something you do.

I did inform her dad on Friday afternoon, before she came home. We decided he’d do a father daughter day with her and show her how much he cares. The two went shopping, walking the mall, shopping, got her ears pierced and finally her nails polished. When she got home I had ice cream waiting for everyone, just because it was Friday.

What do you do with a child’s broken heart?

Post from: Blisstree

What Do You Do for a Child’s Broken Heart?

Image by tony sak via Flickr

Sometimes it’s hard to comprehend “real” romantic love for some people. Especially once you’ve been really hurt, deceived, or abused by someone you felt strong love for at one point. I’ve often noticed (after the aftermath) that I had loved someone who really didn’t love me back with the same depth, or in the same way, if at all.

Is it possible that some people really aren’t capable of “real love”?

I think that our life stories are what dictate how we react to the world at any given time, and some people are more resilient than others. Personally, I’ve been told on several occasions that I’m viewed as a strong person. Even my ex (who is a Mama’s Boy with three older sisters and sure tried my strength) once told me that he felt I was the strongest woman (emotionally speaking) that he’d ever known, and he was surprised at my visibly broken heart. Wow… you know?

“One cannot give what one does not possess.
To give Love you must possess Love.”

“One cannot teach what one does not understand.
To teach Love you must comprehend Love.”

“One cannot know what one does not study.
To study Love you must live in Love.”

“One cannot appreciate what one does not recognize.
To recognize Love you must be receptive to Love.”

“One cannot have doubt about that which one wishes to trust.
To trust Love you must be convinced of Love.”

“One cannot admit what one does not yield to.
To yield to Love you must be vulnerable to Love.”

“One cannot live what one does not dedicate oneself to.
To dedicate yourself to Love you must be forever growing in Love.”

“Love” by Leo Buscaglia

Yes, I sure as hell think love is a real thing, and I think that as humans, we can love many, but only truly give our hearts to just one.

Post from: Blisstree

Is Love A Real Thing?

A friend of mine found herself at the end of a relationship this week.  She suspected that things were off  and that a break-up was possibly in the near future, but when it happened, well her suspicions brought no comfort.  This woman, she is really the total package, bright, funny, successful, creative, honorable, lovely, and a good friend to many.  In an attempt to help my friend, I decided to do some research and if I found anything helpful, I’d share it with you. I was surprised to find that a lot of what works, well it’s just following your instincts and doing what comes natural. 

Avoid your ex, if at all possible. Time and distance are going to be the surest ways to a fully healed heart, but you can’t get there if you are constantly pulling that bandaid off. 

Cry if you need to cry - watch a funny movie, if you’d prefer to laugh. Movies are a great distraction.  Music helps, too.  When my marriage broke up, for some reason, it felt good to sing along with the sad songs.  I would listen to one particular Bonnie Raitt song, “I Can’t Make You Love Me,” continuously as I drove up and down the road just outside of town, trying to get my youngest to sleep when she had colic. I was wallowing and it helped me to move to the next step of my grief.  It’s healthy to allow yourself to feel bad.  

Get out of town.  If possible a change of venue can do wonders.  Even if it’s just for an afternoon.  Fill up a little cooler with sodas, grab some snacks, and take off for anywhere that’s elsewhere for awhile.  Escape the memories for a time or better yet, drive to some place that holds good memories for you – memories that have nothing to do with him.  Reinforce the idea that you were fine before you met him and with time you will be fine without him.    

Exercise, jump on your bike and work up a sweat. It is good your heart – both your soul and the muscle that pumps your blood.  If feels good to move, to do something for yourself that has nothing to do with your ex.  I never feel as in charge of my life and my future as when I finish a run. 

Pick up a journal to record your thoughts in, maybe doodle a bit.  I have a bit of an office supply obsession and I look for any excuse to buy a new pen, pick up a new notebook.  My local Barnes Barnes & Noble has a beautiful selection of  journals.  If you can’t find what you are looking for there, then pick up one of those old school black and white spotted composition notebooks and create your own cover by gluing wrapping paper or photos from a magazine onto it.  Crafts and hobbies – now is a good time to get creative.  Making something is fun and gives you a sense of accomplishment. 

Pick up a good book, something that will take your mind off your break-up, maybe a mystery or something from the vampire romance genre (spicy is very distracting).  Possibly something from Amazon.com which features hot new releases and is updated hourly.  Or chose a book that is an old friend – for me that would be something in a Harry Potter story or To Kill A Mockingbird.

If you are into meditation, you might try the imagery suggested in How to mend a broken heart in 5 easy steps from the Urban Monk.  Visualization works in many areas, the whole if you can see it, you can be it, school of thought.

How to Mend a Broken Heart from eHow.com, features a step-by-step list of what to do from day one on.  I’ve never seen such an extensive, heal your heart plan and I sent it over to my friend as soon as I found it. 

My last advice is to indulge in a little chocolate, but avoid too many margaritas.  A hang-over does not go well with a broken heart. 

Photo Credit – Michelle Smith

Post from: Blisstree

How To Heal A Broken Heart

Though you can find poetry in a broken heart, it, sometimes, isn’t healthy to dwell on them. It’s true that you’re allowed to mourn for your loss but to go at it constantly and consistently? Do you really have to tell everyone that your loss has hardened your heart? That an intelligent showing of coping is to express it in poetic alliterations? That being alone and going into a dating hiatus is an act of strength and independence? Will you truly and I mean truly find the answers to your burning questions?

Dear, you will fall in love again one way or the other.

So, I implore you to cease with all the emo outbursts or the lackluster effort of concealing your emotional turmoil. A sad heart will never attract anyone. If you continue to exhibit a baggage, you might as well put a sign on your forehead that says “Occupied”. This will simple turn prospects off. No, they won’t find your “poetry” appealing nor attractive. Why? Because this so-called poetry pertain to someone else AND most don’t really like to be emotional janitors.

You have got to learn how to be happy on your own. This means no ranting about some guy or girl who may have broken your heart, intentionally or not. This means you don’t claim to “hate men” but know deep in your heart that you simply wish to find “the one”. This means you are indeed happy with who you are and what you’ve become, believing that you’re someone’s “the one”. Give yourself a little more credit.

So, please. Mind your aura and countenance. They do tell if you’re emotionally stable, ready and available.

Just my two cents.

Post from: Blisstree

On Auras and Countenance