But on April 16, Jaheem appeared happy when he came home from school with a glowing report card. It may have been a glimmer of hope for his mother Masika Bermudez that her darling boy may have found peace with the situation. But later that evening, when her calls for him to come to dinner were not answered, she and Jaheem’s sister went up to his bedroom and found his body in a closet hanging by a belt.

This, just weeks after another 11-year-old boy, Carl Joseph Walker-Hoover, from Massachusetts, took his own life after relentless taunts by his peers.

What most surprised me is that DeKalb County, Georgia has what experts called an “exemplary” anti-bullying program in place that included an awareness program and a specially trained staff member to address the issue. Kids even were asked to sign a no-bullying pledge.

So what went wrong? And what can we, as parents, do to stop our child from bullying or being bullied, since we cannot rely simply on our schools?

Here’s yet another resource, a free Bully Reporting Site powered by www.BullyStoppers.com where parents and students can provide details of bullying situations. And, here is an example what the reports look like. The anonymous bully reporting is designed to help students who suffer from bullying, decrease behaviors that build over time and lead to violent outbursts, create a deterrent effect against bullying in a school or bus, and prevent embarrassing students who report problems.

Will it help? Who knows. The U.S. Secret Service National Threat Assessment Center seems to think that such a system could have prevented many of the countless school shootings over the years. Regardless, a workable solution must be found before another child kills himself.

Photo, Flickr, sarah bara wears mascara

Post from: Blisstree

Suicides Question Anti-Bullying Programs

I could see the family had obvious troubles, but I didn’t see their problems as being that far out of the ordinary.

I think the biggest problem this family has is the fact that dad has to be gone so much with his job as a truck driver.

Having been a single parent for a number of years, I can speak firsthand on the benefit of having two parents around.

There’s a very good friend of mine who is with her children 24/7 while her husband is off traveling for business most weeks and sometimes more than a week at a time.  I’ve seen her struggle with raising her children – being both the mother, father, nurse, disciplinarian and so on.

I think it would help the mother’s recharge tremendously and help them do these multiple jobs more effectively IF when dad does come home, he allowed mom a little time just for her – away from all responsibilities for a few hours.

I’m fairly certain that Jo Jo would come down on me much the same way as she came down on dad in this particular episode – because if he’s a bully, then I guess that makes me a bully too.

Post from: Blisstree

SuperNanny visits the Weinstein Family

Jo Frost tries to help a family with four children whose father’s disciplinary style is more bullying than beneficial.

I’m going to be tuning in for tonight’s episode and in fact, I’m going to phone a friend of mine and suggest that she watch the episode as well (I’ve got a great excuse for asking her to watch – this blog).  Perhaps by having this friend watch this episode, she’ll be able to recognize some of the bullying that goes on in her own home.

Do you think it’s possible for people to see themselves in discussions like this when they seem so oblivious to these problems any other time?

I certainly hope so!  Doesn’t it take a bully to make a bully?

Post from: Blisstree

Tonights Episode – Weinstein Family

Oshkosh Teens Speaking Out is a group of local young people from various religious denominations taking a stand against bullying in light of school violence throughout Wisconsin by asking parents to pay more attention to their kids.

The group, which started meeting around the end of October, is finalizing a letter to local parents with instructions on how to be better parents and how to deter their kids from becoming future bullies and perpetuators of school violence.

A sampling of tips for parents from Oshkosh Teens Speaking Out:

Understand that I am not perfect – be patient
Teach me to how to say “NO” – by saying “NO” to me.
Get to my friends and their parents too
Let my dreams be different from yours
Spend time with me and show me you care – listen more than you talk
Family time is worth more to me than a big house, vacations and other stuff
Tell me that you love me

I think these teens are truly onto something.  Having been the victim of bully’s throughout my own high school career, I see the overwhelming need for parents to become more active in their kids lives – and to stop trying to blame everyone else for the ill actions of their kids.

I’d love to hear some of your bully stories and how you’ve learned to combat them on your own.  Whether you’re a kid or a parent, I think it’s important that people learn to stick together and come up with new and inovative ways of tearing down these intimidating walls.

Post from: Blisstree

Youths target parenting to prevent bullying

Last night a close friend of mine phoned and was very anxious about some harassment her teen daughter was enduring via the internet and more specifically, MySpace. 

Now, before anyone starts getting all up into the MySpace thing, let me point out that this particular mother actually monitors her daughter’s online activity and only allowed a MySpace profile IF the mother’s MySpace was added as a friend and if the profile were private.  So if any of you have kids that are wanting a MySpace, I’d highly recommend you speak to my friend and taking a few lessons.

Perhaps I am a Lifetime movie addict or perhaps I place too much stock in the news – but over the last few years, I’ve seen a HUGE increase in the number of bullies that are born to a pink blanket, rather than blue.  Girls are vicious!

Teen girls are being harassed, chased down with cars, threatened and even beaten or killed out of nothing but pure jealousy.  And its high time parents wake up and realize their daughter could be one of those being harassed or even one of those who’s doing the harassing.

Over the course of this little fiasco, my friend phoned the boy who has found himself caught in the middle of his psycho girlfriend and the girls he’d like to have as friends.  Not only was my friend able to talk to the boy and ask him to refrain from speaking to her daughter at school and placing her in harms way of his psycho girlfriend, she was also able to speak to his parents.

As it turns out, this little girlfriend of his has a history of inappropriate behavior and some of it quite shocking.  It seems that in an act of jealous rage, this girl tried to run another over with her car.  Shocking, isn’t it?

What’s even worse, is when other concerned parents phone this girls mother, she lets them know she’d rather not get involved.  Personally, I think she should have thought of that before she chose to have children.  But that’s just me!

I encourage every parent to take stock and interest in the online activity of their children!  Talk to them.  Pay attention to when they seem a little down or distant from the rest of the family.  Much of this could indicate they are being bullied.

I’m very interested in reading your stories and experiences with bullies and how you dealt with them.  Perhaps you were the bully at some point and had conscience enough to seek forgiveness.

Bullies are becoming more and more a problem that seems to get little attention until it escalates into a Columbine.  But what can be done now?

How can my friend protect her daughter?  How can my friend encourage help for this other girl when her mother cares so little?  How can I keep my boys from ending up with a psycho girlfriend like that?

Anyone?  Ideas?  Anyone?

Mean Girls available on Amazon
 

Post from: Blisstree

Real Life Mean Girls