Keeping one’s illness, when it involved mental or emotional conditions, “in the closet” was common when I was growing up.  You only whispered about someone’s mental disorders.  Families tried to keep that person at home, while not literally “in a closet,” figuratively so.

You tried not to talk about Aunt Mollie who laughed at inappropriate times, wore her clothes backward, took walks in the middle of the night, or held conversations with people of the past.  Perhaps she even had to spend some time in a mental institution and have “shock” treatment, the common way of dealing with mental and emotional conditions then.

Is Alzheimer’s in “the closet?”

Although we’re able to talk more openly about dementia and Alzheimer’s nowadays, it wasn’t always so.  In the early 1990s, soon after my dad’s death, realized my mom was developing the same symptoms as her sister, who had been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s.  However, when I mentioned this to family and friends, many didn’t want to face it and didn’t want to talk about it.

Yet, if Mother had developed a physical illness, there would have been no problem.Yes, we would have had to arrange care, but there would have been more family involvement and communication. 

Many families still don’t want to admit a member has Alzheimer’s.  They find some stigma attached.  Since it’s nothing they have done to cause it, nor the person who had developed it, why not associate with that family member?  In spite of frustrations and disappointments, you actually can enjoy them and bring them pleasure.

Carol Bradley Bursack has more to say on this topic at Minding Our Elders and Our Alzheimer’s.com. 

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Post from: Blisstree

Is Alzheimer’s a “Closet” Disease?

How you feel about yourself may have an effect on your feeling overburdened and overwhelmed as you care for your Alzheimer’s family member.  Even caregivers in nursing homes and hospitals can get burnout. 

According to an article at qimr.edu.au and Alzheimer’s Daily News, a recent study revealed the factors determining carer burden lay not in the severity of dementia among sufferers, but instead on caregivers’ feelings about themselves.

Become involved in activities that will help boost your confidence.  Find ways to relieve your stress.  Read books and listen to music that will raise your spirits.

What do you do to feel better about yourself?  Do you need a boost in confidence and moral?

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(c)2008 Mary Emma Allen

Post from: Blisstree

How Do You Feel About Yourself & Your Alzheimer’s Caregiving?

So often we don’t know where to turn when Alzheimer’s becomes a reality with a family member.  We’ve heard of the condition, but haven’t paid too much attention until it hits a family member or friend and we’re caught in the caregiver role or supporting a caregiver.

More resources are available nowadays than when my mom and aunt developed Alzheimer’s.  I wanted to learn all I could to better understand what they were going through, to help them,  and to cope myself because I ended up the main caregiver for both.  Today, one of the resources you have available is The Alzheimer’s Action Plan by P. Murali Doraiswamy and Lisa P. Gwyther with Tina Adler.

Sub titled as “The Experts’ Guide to the Best Diagnosis and Treatment for Memory Problems,” this book does give you information in many areas.  It tells about early and accurate diagnosis, state-of-the-art treatment, life after diagnosis, changes beyond memory loss, a brain-healthy lifestyle and frequently asked questions.  It’s a resource book I wish I’d had when Mother and Auntie encountered this illness.  It may not have all the answers, but enables you to “intervene early to maintain the highest quality of life.”

For a very complete review, read The Alzheimer’s Action Plan: Book Review at The Tangled Neuron.  The blogger also met the book’s authors at the International Conference on Alzheimer’s Disease (ICAD).

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(c)2008 Mary Emma Allen

Post from: Blisstree

The Alzheimer’s Action Plan – a Great Alzheimer’s Resource

We have a winner for the Glass Full of Tears Giveaway, associated with the Bloggy Giveaways Carnival.  A copy of the book is on its way to her.

Kristen  mentions in her comment:

My first job ever was working in a Nursing Home. I saw many different faces of Alzheimer’s and dementia while working there- the good, the bad, and the incredibly sad. But also the very wonderful!

Thanks, Kristen, for entering the giveaway and for sharing your experience.  Alzheimer’s is all of what you mention…and if you let yourself look beyond the sad and and not so good, you will see the very wonderful.  This is something I learned when caring for my aunt and mom.

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(c)2008 Mary Emma Allen

Post from: Blisstree

Winner Announced for Glass Full of Tears Giveaway at Alzheimer’s Notes

Are you watching the Olympics?  With Michael Phelps setting Olympic records, swimming will be taking a “front seat” in sports.  More youngsters likely will want to become involved in swimming lessons and events.

If you have youngsters in your caregiver’s household, you may find their interest sparked by the Olympics competitions.  Are you all interested in learning more about swimming?

Here are a few books about swimming for entertainment and instruction.

The Boy Who Wouldn’t Swim

Sergio Makes a Splash

Learn to Swim

Adam Sharp, Swimming with Sharks (a mystery)

Freestyle Made Easy

Mark Spitz: The Extraordinary Life of an Olympic Champion

Golden Girl: How Natalie Coughlin Fought Back

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(c)2008 Mary Emma Allen

Post from: Blisstree

Is Your Family Enthralled by the Swimming Events in the Olympics?

Finding opportunities for summer fun (vacations, days at the beach, barbeques with friends, attending the latest movie) often seem limited for Alzheimer’s caregivers.  They’re tied to the home caring for a person they find it difficult to take out with them.  Or it requires a great deal of work to plan and accomplish, whether you’re arranging for care when you’re away or taking them along.

*Plan more backyard and at-home activities that the Alzheimer’s patient can watch (or stay in their room if they desire).  More people are aware of Alzheimer’s disease and are more accepting of someone with Alzheimer’s than when Mother and Auntie were ill.

*If you have relatives living nearby, arrange exchanges with them.  Sometimes relatives living at a distance will take the Alzheimer’s family member for a week or more.  (This also makes them realize the difficulties you face in your caregiving.)

*See if there is a daycare near you that will take Alzheimer’s patitnes.   When Mother was living with me, I was fortunate to find a local nursing home that took people for day time care.  I also was able to make arrangements for her to stay overnightthere  when I had to be away for the weekend.

*Sometimes the local senior center has daycare facilities if your patient isn’t too advanced with Alzheimer’s.

*Check with the senior center, support groups, local home health agency, your church, etc. to see if there is anyone you can engage to stay with your family member.  (Something like checking out resources for babysitters when you have children.) 

Do you have solutions you’ve found that enable you to get away...for an afternoon, an evening, or a week?

Check out these posts for more ”at-home” summer fun:

Time Travel Experiences for Alzheimer’s Households

13 Summer Projects for Caregivers, Alzheimer’s Patients & Children

Snowballs in July – An Activity for Alzheimer’s Caregivers’ Children & Grandma to Watch

Panda Picture Books

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(c)2008 Mary Emma Allen

Post from: Blisstree

Alzheimer’s Caregivers: Finding Opportunities for Summer Fun

I was asked, in a recent comment on a post,  what a daughter should do when her elderly father, who had broken a leg and was in a nursing home, acted like a zombie.  That previous post concerned overmedication, with a link from a post by Liz Lewis.  I had related an experience with my mom.

Since I’m not trained in the medical field nor know the complete situation with the lady’s dad, I don’t want to give suggestions that will steer her in the wrong direction. So I’ll suggest places one  might go for answers.

*Have you talked with his doctor to see why this amount of medication has been prescribed? Is your dad in a great deal of pain without the meds?

*Check the policy of the nursing home where you’re considering moving him. [She's planning to change nursing homes.] Some have a minimal drug policy unless absolute necessary for pain. This was the case with my mom.

*Check to see if your state (probably under the Dept. of Health and Human Services, Div of Elderly and Adult Services) has an Ombudsman program. I knew nothing about this until a lady called me, when I had to move Mother to a second nursing home after the first one closed. She calmed me, answered questions, and helped me get everything organized. Essentially they’re advocates for the elderly living in long-term care and nursing home facilities. The ombudsman should be able to answer your questions or help you find answers.

The problem so often is that these parent care situations come upon us suddenly. We aren’t prepared and don’t know where to turn for information. I hope this helps.

What have you found helpful when you’re at a loss for answers?

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(c)2008 Mary Emma Allen

Post from: Blisstree

Is Your Alzheimer’s or Elderly Parent Overmedicated?

Do you refuse to let siblings and others care for your parent or spouse because you think there will be negative effects?

Do you complain about the stress and strain of caring for an Alzheimer’s family member, yet won’t look into respite care and continually find reasons why it won’t work?

In other words…Are You a Caregiver Martyr?

You may not be aware that you are.  You may think only you can care for this person.  Yes, they may complain if you change their routine, if you aren’t at their “beck and call” or leave them with someone else for awhile. 

However, take stock of the situation and realize the change may be good for both of you.

Consider whether you really have to do everything yourself (sometimes there is no choice or very little alternative) or whether this gives you an opportunity for people to feel sorry for you. 

So….ask for help.  Seek ways to make the caregiving easier for you…for your sake and for the patient’s sake. 

(c)2008 Mary Emma Allen

Post from: Blisstree

An Alzheimer’s Caregiver Martyr – Are You One of These?

Dr. Lasich is offering one lucky Alzheimer’s Notes reader a free copy of High Heels to Hormones: A Woman’s Guide to Spine Care.

All you have to do is leave a comment by end of day Friday 25th June and the great random number selector will choose the winner. 

And while you’re waiting for the winner to be selected, head over to Healthbolt and read my book review about this useful little book. And while you’re there, leave comment for a second chance at winning a copy of High Heels to Hormones.

Post from: Blisstree

Book Giveaway: High Heels to Hormones (A Woman’s Guide to Spinal Care)

Today, if someone else watches your patient or they nap, too,  you also can take a “power nap” with a clear conscience, according to Yvonne Russell’s post at Home Biz Notes, Happy National Siesta Day. There she lists the benefits of a 10-120 minute nap.

So Happy Napping!!

Maybe you’ll find it so beneficial you’ll squeeze in power naps other days as well.

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(c)2008 Mary Emma Allen

Post from: Blisstree

Can Alzheimer’s Caregivers Sneak a Nap During National Siesta Day?