The post I wrote about resources for Alzheimer’s caregivers, Thursday Thirteen - 13 Blogs About Alzheimer’s,  resulted in numerous comments and caregivers sharing information.

Image: sxc.hu

They even provided some more blogs for caregivers.

If you’re looking for information and just a place to get together with other caregivers, for comfort and encouragement, perhaps you’d like to check out these blogs.  Also, you may find tips on making life more enjoyable for the person with Alzheimer’s.

If you have any more resources, do share them with us.  Caregivers need all the encouragement and support they can find during their journey with their Alzheimer’s patient.

“There’s a new style of martial arts training sweeping the nation amongst older adults called ‘Cane-Fu Fighting’, “ says Derrick at Elder-Guru.

If you’re concerned about your elderly parents, physically challenged parents, or those who may be targets for attacks, robberies, and physical abuse, check out the possibility of them taking a cane-fu fighting class.  (You may want to take it along with them!)

This is physical defense using a cane.  The cane-fu classes also are good sources of exercise and many senior centers are offering them.

Check out the post about cane-fun fighting at Elder Guru for more information (click on link above).  There’s also a video to give you “live” action information.

Derrick mentions that even the Wall Street Journal recently published an article about this popular self-defense/exercise activity and links to it.

In Derrick’s post, he relates the incidents where an older citizen protected himself with his cane.  Of course, you have to use common sense when defending yourself, but a cane-fu class would appraise you of these matters.

Another form of parenting consists of caring for one’s parents or elderly relatives. You’ve gone from being parented to parenting that older person.   Most caregivers go into this stage of life without adequate preparation or support.

Finding caregiver support groups in your area, or online, can be a challenge.  Here are a few suggestions.

Check out the following places in your community to see if they have a support group or know of any:

• Home health agencies
• Senior Center
• Local Hospital
• Local Nursing homes
• State Alzheimer’s Association
• State Department of the Elderly or Family Services
• Others caring for elderly parents or spouses

If there is nothing in your community, the groups meet when you’re at work, or you live too far from an organized community, you might want to check out online support groups.  Also, by reading blogs about Alzheimer’s caregiving and leaving comments that the blogger and other readers might answer, you’ll feel more connected with the caregiver community and not so alone.

What suggestions do you have? Are there particular caregiver groups/organizations you find particularly helpful.

Many parents are caring for children still at home while becoming responsible for their parents. They’re that “generation between” or the “sandwich generation,” who are parenting in two directions.

When I cared for Mother and Auntie,  I had my dad and my uncle who needed assistance, too.  Father and Uncle Al had physical problems but not dementia or Alzheimer’s.  Mother remained my responsibility for eight years after the others passed away.

My daughter was grown and caring for her children.  So, even though I helped with grandchildren, I didn’t have full responsibility, as many of you do with younger children at home.

The balancing act is such challenge that you do need others to support you, even beyond family members.  Find support groups, both online and off.  Attend workshops that will give you insight and information.

Above all, take care of yourself. Find some time for yourself.  You must realize you are important and the balance of everything rests on you.  Caregiving for parents, along with children,  may not be a responsibility you sought, but it’s there.

Maintain a sense of humor. You’ll find those you are caring for generally respond better when there is laughter around.  You’ll feel better for it, too.

Share with us here some of your secrets of coping.

One of my readers commented on my post, Parenting More Than Our Children, that few things prepare us for the role reversal of caring for our parents.  Often we’re caring for our own children, too.

I agree.  I wasn’t prepared, and it seems so strange at first. However, I learned to enjoy Mother and Auntie as they journeyed through their Alzheimer’s world. There were frustrations, disappointments, but rewards, too. My daughter and her children’s lives are richer, as well, by caring for these ladies. The memories are often bittersweet, but this was a stage in their lives that I hoped we made easier for them.

Some tips on how to prepare yourself:

• Once I realized I’d be caregiver for Mother and Auntie, I took advantage of workshops and lectures offered by a local nursing home.  This gave me insight into various aspects of caregiving.
• I found a support group.  Actually in my case, it was my neighbor who was caregiver for her great aunt.  We discussed the challenges, the joys, and discovered resources.
• I tried to learn all I could from reading and workshops. and look at the world through  Mother and Auntie’s eyes.  They taken ill with Alzheimer’s before there was much on the Internet.  Today, check out Internet resources for information.
• Start your own blog;  visit other web sites and blogs to learn how others are coping.
• Communicate with family members as much as possible and enlist their help.  Discuss the situation and your feelings.

How are you preparing for parenting your parents, spouse or elderly family members?

Througout our lifetime, we often end up caring for, or “parenting,” more than our children. I became the caretaker for my mom and my aunt.  I helped care for my dad and my uncle.  I assisted with my mother-in-law.

We don’t think, when we’re raising our children that we may become caregivers for those who once cared for us.  We don’t make plans for this and it often hits unawares.

Auntie became my responsibility after my mom could no longer care for her.  She lived with my parents for more than a year when another relative couldn’t cope with Auntie’s Alzheimer’s forgetfulness and wandering.  Then Father died and Mother’s Alzheimer’s became more pronounced.

Because Auntie was a widow with no children, she became my responsibility.  I suppose I could have ignored the situation, but somehow it was something I couldn’t do.  During most of the time she was my responsibility, she was in a nursing home, so I didn’t have the “hands on” care I did with Mother.  But making decisions when she was ill or in the hospital, keeping in touch with nurses (I lived 275 miles away), and visiting whenever I could did become my role.

I cared for Mother in her home, in our home, and was responsible for overseeing her care in a nursing home for 8 years.  During this time I was helping my children with grandchildren.

However, all of them, no matter what age or generation, brought rewards to my life midst any frustrations.  Realizing that parenting encompasses more than caring for children will help you as you assume parent and elder relative care.

If someone you love is living with cancer, they may end up needing help or care from others. It may be a short-term thing as they go through treatment, or it may be longer term if their illness isn’t curable. While it may seem natural for you to step and offer to help, there are some things that you should take into consideration before committing yourself. This is important for both your sake and for the person you will be caring for.

The type of information that you need is practical, such as knowing the insurance policy, how to care for yourself, and the resources available to you.

The University of Maryland Medical System has put together this health calculator to help you understand where you may need some help: Caregivers Readiness Calculator.

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Tags: cancer blog, living with cancer, caregiving, caregiver