That being said, sometimes your man just needs to be taken care of.  I obviously don’t want to set women back, but sometimes I think it can be a positive aspect of a relationship to feel comfortable and confident enough to pamper your boyfriend or husband.  Just like women, men can get stressed out and overwhelmed by whatever life has dealt them.  Maybe it’s a hard week at work, too many all-nighters spent studying, or sudden financial setbacks that have caused your lover to lose his mojo, but you can help to bring him back.  Set all of your preconceptions about traditional women’s roles aside and put forth some effort to take care of him.  Do the grocery shopping, cook him his favorite meal, do the dishes, draw him a hot bath, give him a massage, and just take care of all of the household responsibilities for one day to let him relax and regain perspective on his life.

I wanted to write this post because I know that a lot of men and women are going through difficult times related to unemployment and financial troubles, so I want to propose that maybe you can offer a special relaxing day for your husband or your boyfriend to let him know that you love him and you are there for him as he goes through this difficult time.  Hopefully he will understand and regain strength and offer the same to you when you find yourself in a similarly challenging life situation.

Image: sxc.hu

Post from: Blisstree

Sometimes He Needs Extra Attention

If you have been feeling this recent economic relationship strain, don’t worry because you are not alone.  I have been hearing about new and challenging issues from friends and family in all stages of relationships.  Here are some common challenges:

• We can’t afford to fly to visit each other anymore.
• I can’t move to a new city to be with him because I can’t find a job.
• I can’t afford to go out to the bars and pay for drinks.
• I can’t afford to take someone out to a dinner and a movie.
• We pooled our finances and it’s not enough to buy a place to live.
• We can’t afford to put on a wedding.
• We didn’t want both of us to have to work.
• I can’t afford an engagement ring.
• Now that we’re married, we don’t want to ask our parents for money.
• I lost my job and I need to just focus on myself.

All of these issues exist for many couples regardless of the economic recession.  But if you are one of the lucky few who only find yourself in these negative situations because of a fall in stock prices, my advice is:

• Patience. If your relationship is strong, then you can wait it out.  Maybe you have to pay rent or continue long distance for a couple more years than you had planned, but stay calm and remember what’s important in your life.  After you make it through these challenges, your relationship could be stronger than ever!
• Budget. There are ways to impress your date and provide for your family without spending tons of money.  Don’t push your budget because of other people.  Figure out what you can afford and live within your means.  Everyone is stretching their money right now, so don’t feel uncomfortable about holding back on things that you could have paid for a few years ago.

Image: sxc.hu

Post from: Blisstree

The Economy is Affecting My Relationship

I just read a great article from Dr. Phil with advice about maintaining a successful relationship:

• Have a solid friendship.
• Meet each other’s needs.
• Set specific goals.
• Get back to basics.
• Take responsibility.
• Turn the negatives into a to-do list.

While all of these pieces of advice are important, I think that “Have a solid friendship” is truly the most helpful.  It is so important to have a great friendship with your life partner that goes beyond sexual attraction or other initial reasons for a relationship.  A best friend will bring you laughter and support when you need it, and that is something that you want from your partner as well.  The most successful relationships that I have seen in my life have been couples that enjoy life together and treat each other like best friends.  The reality of marriage is that as you grow old together you you might lose some of the passion that once existed, so it is important to know that you enjoy each other’s company and know that you can rely on each for everything.

Rebuilding a flawed relationship is a great challenge, but I think Dr. Phil’s points are insightful and offer a great place to start.  It is possible to heal problems and find a way to grow close again so that you can happily grow old together.  You can read his entire article at Dr. Phil – Maintaining a Successful Relationship.

Image: sxc.hu

Post from: Blisstree

How To Rebuild a Flawed Relationship

Image: Zuma Press

I didn’t really know what to expect when I started this movie, but I have to say that I was extremely impressed.  The movie uses the art of conversation to expose insecurities and confusion that arise in a marriage.  I felt that the film was almost Shakespearean in the way that the archetypal characters delivered heart-wrenching monologues expressing frustration and confused emotions.  The characters and their interactions were truly brilliant.  A mentally ill neighbor pops in at key moments and delivers lines of brutal honesty to the couple about the lack of truthfulness and happiness in their relationship.

Although the movie is depressing in its portrayal of married life, it does expose the real challenges that men and women face when they find themselves trapped in a life of mortages, child-rearing, monotonous work days, and household chores.

If you are in a serious relationship, I strongly recommend watching this movie with your significant other or spouse and having a conversation about it.  Your reactions to the characters may bring ideas to the surface that would be worthwhile to discuss.  The movie brings up issues about the difference between male and female roles in a family and the contrast between emotional detachment and complete expression of extreme emotions.

Just as the characters in Revolutionary Road struggle with communication in their relationship, I encourage movie-watchers to explore the best ways to communicate with their partner in order to understand and help one another when they are going through a difficult or transitional period.  Successful communication is the key to a healthy and balanced relationship.

Revolutionary Road is now available on DVD.

Post from: Blisstree

Revolutionary Road: Relationship on Film

Here’s some inspiration for us today. A quote by one of my favorite poets, Emily Dickinson:

“To undertake is to achieve.”

What this means to me as a diabetic is that simply making the decision to be healthy and take care of ourselves puts us ahead of the game. While diabetes may be a daunting thing when we first hear it or when we are first diagnosed, we can live well. We can live a positive life.

Post from: Blisstree

Inspiration Quote from Emily Dickinson

I’m Cherie, your new Diabetes notes blogger.  I’ve had Type 1 Diabetes for about 20 years and am a strong advocate for great care and research.  I can’t wait to share news and updates with you, and hope to get your feedback on what you’d like going forward in this blog. 

To give you some of my background, I thought I’d tell you about my diagnosis.  When I was in my early 20s I felt lousy.  I went to the doctor and he rudely told me that I was a young girl and there was nothing wrong with me.  I insisted that he at least take some blood work.  I knew there was SOMETHING wrong with me but I didn’t have any inkling that it would be diabetes.  I worked out constantly and never had a low-blood episode.

After the blood work came in, he never called me with the results.  I finally called and he wouldn’t speak to me, instead he shouted to his nurse, “Tell her she’s a young girl and she’s fine.” 

The nurse said to me, “You’re the diabetic, aren’t you?” 

I was shocked.  Diabetic?   No, I said.

She scheduled an appointment for me anyways, despite what the doctor said.  When I came in, he STILL insisted there was nothing wrong with me.  When I told him the nurse had called me “the diabetic,” he told me to ignore her because she is “just his assistant.”

And that was my first introduction to some of the health care professionals you meet when you’re diabetic.  I went to another doctor shortly after this episode, and he immediately ran blood work and confirmed that I was diabetic.  I’ve been his patient ever since.

Diabetes can be a struggle for many reasons.  Healthcare people that are uninformed or rude are just one aspect.  I don’t think people always understand how arguing with insurance or pharmacies can weigh on your mind when you’re diabetic.  And that’s not including testing or injections.  We diabetics deal with a lot.

So let’s talk about some of the stuff we deal with going forward.  I’m going to give you some updates but what I hope to achieve is great conversation.  Go ahead and comment.  Argue with me.  Agree.  Tell a joke.  Share your experience. 

Post from: Blisstree

Hello!