Post from: Blisstree

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Post from: Blisstree

Do You Talk About Sex?

Post from: Blisstree

Are You Considered A Non-Mom? NBC Thinks SO!

Why?

He was already Baptized in the Russian Orthodox Church, or so we were told (he has a small cross as “proof”).

But the reason we did not re-baptize him in our faith is that 1. we did not have a church to call home and 2. we knew that the Russian Orthodox Church was part of his heritage and we did not want to take that from him. Our belief is that if he ever wanted to chose a faith other than the ROC than he could do that on his own.

A friend of mine from the Chicago Moms Blog seems to have similar views. However, because both of her daughter’s grandparents are religious she and her husband decided to Christen her daughter…a choice I stand behind because it is something we will probably do for The Bebe, as he will NOT be Baptized or Christened when he joins our family.

The problem is that now that I would like to Baptize The Bebe I feel that I should Baptize the boys together, in one faith.

What do you think?

Post from: Blisstree

What Role Does Religion Play in Adoption?

Raymond and Meta Poeteray handed their daughter, Jade, over to social workers in Hong Kong saying the adoption had not worked out.

In a statement published by Dutch newspaper De Telegraaf (and the BBC News), Raymond Poeteray — a Hong Kong-based Consul — said his daughter was “very sick,” and suffers from a “severe form of fear of emotional attachment.”

Jade currently lives in a separate house, (the Hong Kong Foster system) and the entire family is in therapy.

“We tried intensive family therapy to find a cure. To our great disappointment, things didn’t get better, they got worse and the rest of the family began to suffer immensely from that,” he wrote in a letter signed by him and his wife, Meta.

“In mid-2006, on the advice of known medical specialists, professionals from the adoption organization ‘Mother’s Choice’ and the social services of Hong Kong, it was decided that in (her) interest she should be placed in a separate house and we would not be allowed to have any contact with her. The therapy for our family and our daughter continues to this day.”

I have heard of several children who have found new homes after they have been adopted. I have mixed feelings about disruptions despite what the norm is within the adoption community. Most adoptive parents and adoptees look down upon disruptions and dissolutions because, well, you are relinquishing a child you chose to raise forever. My thoughts and my heart  sway towards what is best for the child, and the other children in the home, in cases such as Jades. Would it really be best to keep her in a home where she is not wanted or loved?

I have a friend who recently dissolved her relationship with the daughter she adopted from Russia two years ago. In my heart I know that it was the right choice for her, her family, and her daughter. Often, children have such special needs that can not be met in particular homes.

Is it not better to find the right home than to allow the child to suffer in the wrong one?

Are the Poeteray’s telling the truth when they say that their daughter was ill and unattached? Or is the an issue wherein the mother is unattached? Has a nanny cared for the child more than the mother? Did they adopt her to fill a void and not because they wanted a child? Did they ever really claim her as their child?

They seem to blame her for the dissolution but how much effort did they put into the relationship before they realized they were in trouble?  It seems to be, from everything I have read, that they never had their hearts in the right place. But, that is just my opinion.

This is cross posted to Chicago Moms Blog where I also write.

Post from: Blisstree

Attachment and Dissolution, More on Poeteray

What I found in my research is that there are two basic issues in breastfeeding an adopted child; getting milk to come in and getting the child to latch, basically what every mother contends with, right? But, because nursing an adopted child is more about bonding and attachment than nutritional support (in my opinion at least) does it really matter how much milk comes in when there are supplements that can aid a nursing mother?

Since there is more to breastfeeding than breastmilk, many mothers are happy to be able to breastfeed without expecting to produce all the milk the baby will need. It is the special relationship, the special closeness, and the biological attachment of breastfeeding that many mothers are looking for. As one adopting mother said, “I want to breastfeed. If the baby also gets breastmilk, that’s great.

That said, what is the “science” of breastfeeding an adopted child?

1. According to many specialists it is possible for an adoptive mother to breastfeed without ever being pregnant. Much like that of midwives, many women lactate at just the stimulation of the glands. Given that, an adoptive mother can begin stimulation by using a breast pump like the Medela Lactina Electric Breast Pump. It is not recommended that mothers purchase these pumps because some women never produce more than an ounce or two of breast milk but they can be rented from pharmacies or borrowed if sterilized.

2. There are also herbs and a drug called Domperidone, which is not recommended as a first choice to facilitate milk production. Dr. Jack Newman has a lactation protocol that is widely used.

3. Most likely an adoptive mother will not produce enough milk for the baby, thus needing a lactation aid. I learned that a lactation aid is a container that holds formula, breast milk, or glucose water and supplies the baby with supplement through a small tube that leads down to the nipple and into the baby’s mouth. This is done so that there is no bottle/nipple confusion.

More tomorrow on the breastfeeding “debate”, as there are many women out there who disagree with breastfeeding an adopted child.

But, I would love to hear your opinions today.

Anyone out there breastfeed an adopted child?

Do birthmoms/firstmoms have opinions about it?

Pre-adoptive parents considering breastfeeding?

Leave your comments here and I will be sure to include them in my next post. I am also compiling a post for Chicago Moms Blog for Thursday’s topic day. You guessed it, Breastfeeding!

Post from: Blisstree

Breastfeeding an Adopted Child, Yah or Nay?

While standing in line and writing a check (again, something last minute. Are you sensing a pattern here?) I glanced at my Drivers License and smiled at the great picture. Ah, ten pounds ago. Umm, okay, 15 pounds, but I’m working on it. But, what was horrifying was my address.

It was wrong.

And it took me a year to notice that? Granted, it was only off by one number, er, missing a number. But I never noticed?

So, I walked over to the license department where, miraculously, there was no line. Obviously everyone is out spooking today and is not going to have their picture taken in a devil’s costume. The man I talked to was sweet when I asked him if I had to have my picture taken again. I blushed so nervously that he laughed. You see, I had no make-up on and probably still had tooth polisher stuck in my gums. Thankfully, he took pity on me and told me that I don’t need a new picture because they keep them on file. Whew. No Bride of Frankenstein here.

What have I been doing in the last year that distracted me SO much that I didn’t notice my own address was wrong on my drivers license?

Hmmmm…..
Well, I’ve been trick or treating with ducks and pumpkins, Grounding Ducks, trying to rescue brand new glasses and crocs from the river, sending a dossier to Guatemala, starting an Autism Blog with a bang of a post, contributing to Chicago Moms Blog, starting a domestic adoption when Guatemala closed, chelating AJ, dealing with Pinocchio, and trying to get the lead out and have a HUGE giveaway. And that is just the tip of the pumpkin.

What have you all been doing?

Post from: Blisstree

It Took Me a Year?

Oh, I will put laundry in the washer and transfer it to the dryer. I’ll even fold it. But, I HATE to put it away. I have a consistent pile of laundry that I affectionately call Mount Laundrious. In fact, there have been times that my own mother has come over to my house just to put the laundry away.

Now thats embarrassing.

And cooking? I will do anything to avoid it but I LOVE to cook for a party and for holidays (and I do a dang good job). My new secret? Supper Supers. I attended a sponsored event (3-A-Day) through the Chicago Moms Blog and fell in love with it. To find a location near you…

This was at the Northbrook Facility.
Today I’m tagging Family Reunion.

Post from: Blisstree

Seven Things: Day Three