As I began to get heavier and heavier as a child (mid-to-late elementary school and early junior high), a remarkable thing happened–fewer and fewer pictures of me were taken by family members.  In fact, when I say that I was bigger than the average kid, many people don’t believe me… and I have trouble proving it.

Isn’t it telling that I have virtually no photos of me when I was at my largest?  It’s as if I had been erased by people around me who were embarrassed of my size…  That past, that exile still haunts me today. 

Sadly, but predictably, after I began starving myself, the cameras came out.  My private papparazzi started snapping shots left and right.  “You look great!”  “That outfit looks fabulous!”  “You look like Molly Ringwald!”  (Remember, this was the 1980s!)

And I lapped it up in my desire to finally BE someone and not be treated as if I had disappeared.

I find it very ironic that at my biggest, I was treated as invisible.  Then, when I lost too much weight too suddenly, I had a presence.

God, I hated myself.  And I hated that I was treated as someone even though I felt terribly lost inside. 

Today, I don’t mind getting my picture taken, but I do think, “What if I gained weight?  Would anyone want to photograph me?” 

I suppose the answer is that it doesn’t matter and I shouldn’t give a fig.  But too often, I do.

Would I disappear if I gained weight?

Post from: Blisstree

The disappearing years

I understand.  I’m a parent, too, and I’ve battled anorexia as both a teen and an adult.

To help you gain an understanding of how insipid anorexia, bulimia and binge eating can be, I’ve compiled a list of eight warning signs that an eating disorder could be on the horizon.

1.  Your child constantly complains of being “fat”.

I don’t care if your child IS currently overweight — do not ignore this sign!  If all your kid talks about is how big he or she feels, it’s a problem.  And even if your son or daughter could stand to lose a few pounds, it isn’t normal for kids (especially little ones) to obsess over the shape of their bodies.

2.  Your child runs to the bathroom after eating.

Okay, so this isn’t always a bad sign — sometimes they simply have to do their “business”.  But if it’s happening after every meal and he or she takes a considerable amount of time in the lavatory, it could signal something’s amiss, such as purging.  (Remember — purging doesn’t have to follow bingeing.  Many people with ED-NOS purge just about anything they ingest, whether it’s a large portion or a teensy one.)  Listen for sounds of vomiting or tooth brushing after every trip to the bathroom.

3.  Your child’s friends are all on diets.

Warning!  Danger!  Peer pressure has been known to trigger anorexia and bulimia, especially when every member in the group your child pals around with is regularly dieting.  Though you can’t necessarily choose your child’s friends after a certain age, you can help him or her see that the friends who think they need to diet are mistaken.

4.  Your child is withdrawn, moody, ashen, lethargic.

Okay, so this sounds like most ‘tweens and teens, right?  Not so!  I teach kids of this age, and the idea that they’re all a bunch of brats is simply not true.  Sure, they get in bad moods… but don’t you?  If a dark mood persists, however, it could warn of clinical depression, which is known to go hand-in-hand with the onset of eating disorders.

5.  Your child stops eating foods he or she used to enjoy.

Cake is out.  Candy is verboten.  Meat?  Ha!  Though there’s nothing wrong with a kid changing tastes in food, watch out for signs that he or she is starting to eliminate major types of foods — fats, sugars, carbs — from his or her daily intake.  I know that becoming a vegan (or at least a vegetarian) is “in vogue” right now, but keep a watchful eye.  Many anorexics hide their conditions by claiming that they no longer “like” or “want to eat” groups of foods.

6.  Your child wears heavier clothes, even when it’s hot outside.

Red flag!  In 100 degree temps, most kids want to at least wear a short sleeve t-shirt with shorts!  But I’ve seen MANY young men and women dressed like they’re ready to hit the ski slopes during a heat wave.  Eating disorders rob a person of his or her ability to regulate body temperature; if your son or daughter is sporting several layers in July, keep an eye on him or her.

7.  Your child loves to talk about eating disorders.

This was me.  I loved to talk about anorexia.  I borrowed books on eating disorders from the library again and again.  I wrote ESSAYS on eating disorders, for crying out loud!  (And my mother made fun of one of them in eighth grade, by the way.  That was at the beginning of my disorder.  I really resented her for that for a long time.)  Many of us who have tangoed with ana or mia can’t get enough information on the conditions.  We crave knowledge about this insidious disease.  (Hey, look at me — I’m in recovery and I’m STILL talking about it!)

8.  Your child suddenly wants a scale.

No child innocently wakes up one day desperately wanting a scale.  A Hannah Montana CD, yes.  The latest $100+ pants, sure.  A trip to Disneyworld, absolutely.  But not a freakin’ scale.  So if your kid starts bugging you to buy one (or goes out and buys one for him- or herself out of the blue), don’t just shrug your shoulders.  Pry a little.  Be a parent.  Be tough.  Be loving.

Remember:  You are the adult.  I don’t care how much your kids bitch and moan about you being unfair or not understanding them.  You’re often the FIRST PERSON to see the signs that an eating disorder could be in the cards.  Don’t look away — please.

Post from: Blisstree

Eight Pre-Eating Disorder Warning Signs Parents Can’t Ignore (but often do anyway)