Has the traditional role of the grandparent gone by the wayside?
An interesting article on Human Events.com makes the case for reviving the role of grandparents.
The author compares the traditional grandparent to that of an advisor or a Board of Directors, someone who provide direction and counsel rather than manage day to day activities.
It goes on to day that current societal changes have necessitated a more direct involvement for grandparents at the expense of their traditional role:
Unfortunately, in many cases in today’s society, the role of Grandparents has evolved into that of a surrogate parent. Whether because of necessity (single parent …read more

As if there weren’t enough “wars” going on in the media what with the whole “working mother v. stay at home mother” thing, now there’s a whole phenomenon of “parent wars” where the Boomer mothers and the Generation X daughters differ on parenting ideas.
According to the story, mothers and daughters differ on parenting issues such as food and discipline,and, it concludes that both parties should try to understand the other, and, grandmothers should remember that the child in question isn’t their child.
Now, I’m pretty sure that these dilemmas aren’t unique to Baby Boomers and X-ers, after all, mothers …read more

Though it probably makes sense, research now supports the idea that grandchildren who were lovingly cared for by grandparents are more likely to take care of the grandparents as they (the grandparents) age.
In addition, it supports the idea that it’s good when grandchildren are involved in their grandparents’ care.
I only had one grandparent alive when I was a young adult, my mother’s mother, and, I wish I had done things a little differently.
I was in college when my grandmother’s health declined. Like me, my mother was an only child, and, was her sole caretaker. On top of that, my …read more

A group of high schoolers in Georgia has answered, “Who’s going to take care of the elderly who have no one?”
After interviewing 74 year old Sammy Green, it became apparent that he was wondering what was going to happen to him after he died:
He told the teenagers he most likely would be cremated since he had no money and no kin to bury him as he had buried his parents. And he believed cremation would doom him to an eternity in hell. He said being buried in a pine box was all that could redeem him.
The teenagers were taken with …read more

I thought you might enjoy The Saracastic Journalist’s account of a visit with her grandfather. It doesn’t need any words from me.

It’s getting close to time for one of the moments I’ve been dreading since my mother died. OK, maybe it’s not all that serious, but, still: Grandparents Day at school.
It’s not that it’s emotional, it’s just getting too darn complicated. You see, we’ve gone from just the right amount of players, to not enough players, to too many players.
When the older two kids started school, my mother, and, my MIL would split the Grandparent’s Day duties, since, it was always nice to have one grandparent per kid at the classroom receptions. Afterward, they’d all go shopping and out to lunch. …read more

Grace, at I-91, Exit 6, 2 Doors From Archie’s, reacts to an NPR segment on the radio, and, discusses why she believes that caring for elders at home is different today than it was in the “good old days”.
She talks about how long ago there weren’t nearly as many elderly people to be cared for since, those who were in need of care weren’t nearly as sick, since, prior to modern medicine, a medical crisis was more likely to kill a patient rather than leave them incapacitated and in need of care.
She very accurately describes the foundation of the dilemma …read more

Another twist on the “triple decker sandwich” is the family with 3 (or more) living adult generations.
With people waiting longer to get married and have children, I imagine the family with great-grandparents, grandparents, parents, and children will become even more rare. While it’s not something I’ve experienced in my own family, my husband’s family, until a few years ago, had 5 generations of daughters living.  It always made for a good photo op for the local newspapers.
While the family history in such a situation is invaluable, the part of me that hones in on this type of stuff (Pessimist? Perhaps. I prefer to think of it …read more

I can’t imagine:
There’s no doubt that Brenda Rice is part of the sandwich generation. Make that a triple-decker sandwich.
In addition to caring for her mother, who has severe dementia, Brenda baby-sits daily for her year-old grandson. On top of that, her 17-year-old son still lives at home.
I was going to say, “I don’t see how she does it”, but, I know when people have said that to me, it just seems so odd. Everyone has their own reality, and, sure, there are times when it’s really, really hard. But, you just do it.
What other choice is …read more

Taking care of children and parents at the same time? I know we’re not alone because at least 10 other people wrote books about it. Check them out here:

The Complete Eldercare Planner, Second Edition: Where to Start, Which Questions to Ask, and How to Find Help
Unwrapping the Sandwich Generation. Life Vignettes about Seniors & Their Adult Boomer Children
The Sandwich Generation:Caught Between Growing Children and Aging Parents (free e-book!)
The Hard Questions For Adult Children And Their Aging Parents: 100 Essential Questions For Facing The Future Together, with Courage and Compassion
Navigating the Journey of Aging Parents: What Care Receivers Want
Caring for Your …read more