Dear Christs Church Unity,

I am writing to ask where my A Complaint-Free World Bracelet is. I ordered it quite a long time ago – surely you aren’t going to blame this one on the post office. What did you expect when you went on Oprah and asked everyone to email you for a free bracelet? Obviously, you should have had about a billion bracelets already made – everyone loves free stuff. I’d like to speak to someone about the terrible customer service around here. What kind of operation are you guys running over there in Kansas City? Jeez.

Sincerely, Tracee

p.s. I did make the suggested donation of $10 and would really like a refund if you’re not going to send my bracelet immediately.

 Okay, before anyone gets themselves in a tizzy over my sense of humor – I AM TOTALLY KIDDING.

Apparently, the modest-size church has gotten over 6 million requests for the A Complaint-Free World purple bracelets that were featured on Oprah on March 27th. I know this because I did order a few, and I was wondering whether my order got lost or misplaced. But, I am aware that calling to complain would have been antithetical to the entire idea of a complaint-free world bracelet. They sent me an email this week informing me that my bracelet is probably in the mail and to be more patient. By the statement, It’s not like we’re Amazon.com, I’m guessing more than one or two people called to complain.

Here’s the concept: Place bracelet on right wrist, if you complain move the bracelet to the left wrist, then back again when you catch yourself complaining again. The goal is to wear it on the SAME wrist – no complaining – for 21 days. 21 days is supposedly how long it takes to break a habit.

I’m kind of a complainer and so is my kid. I thought we’d try to break the habit and see if we could attempt happy. If you accomplish the 21 days they will send you a Certificate of Happiness.

While waiting since March for my bracelet I’ve given the role complaining has in my life some thought. The bottom-line is that I’m not sure I can give it up. I think perhaps I get too much out of it. Laughs for one thing. I like to make people laugh and I’m such a brilliant complainer that people give me positive reinforcement for it. I’m not sure I can be all that funny if I’m just all happy all the time. Would it be worth it? I dunno. I’ll try it and let you know about my progress.

Since the bracelets got such a terrific response they are actually proposing legislation to make the Wednesday before Thanksgiving “Complaint-Free Wednesday.” I definitely think I could give up complaining for the Wednesday before Thanksgiving. So, I think I’ll write my congress-persons in favor of that. If the Friday after Thanksgiving is dedicated to wanton consumerism why shouldn’t the Wednsday before be dedicated to quit your bitching?

 For a bracelet email AComplaintFreeWorld@gmail.com. There is even A Complaint Free World Song you can download, sung by Stefana Dadas and the headline on her website says Women Saving the World. Dig that.

By the way, if you like the concept, as I do, you could consider donating a little cashola to the cause. Evidently this moderately-sized church is out half-a-million dollars. That’s $500,000 bucks. They are creating a separate non-profit corporation just to handle their complaint-free bracelet business.

Do you think God gave them such overwhelming success to see if they were true to not complaining? I mean, imagine being the associate pastor in charge of filling 6 million unexpected orders. Or the lady in charge of answering the phones while 6 million people want to know where their bracelets are. Pitch in by donating to their PayPal account through this link. (I hope that works, if not let me know. Without complaining, of course.)

Post from: Blisstree

Where’s My Freaking Complaint-Free Bracelet?