Topic: cleanses

I Tried The Master Cleanse (And All I Got Was Stinky And Weird)

I Tried The Master Cleanse (And All I Got Was Stinky And Weird)

Despite the fact that it offers no nutritional benefit whatsoever and promotes known disordered eating patterns, the Master Cleanse is perhaps one of the most well known crash diets cleanses. It’s all over popular culture, and has been touted by many celebrities and even a few “health advocates.” But what none of them are telling you is what I learned: it makes you smell weird, it makes you act strangely, and it makes you go to the bathroom. A lot. More »

The BluePrint Cleanse: A Blueprint For Disordered Eating In a Bottle

The BluePrint Cleanse: A Blueprint For Disordered Eating In a Bottle

The BluePrint Cleanse is a juice-based diet created by Zoe Sakoutis and Erica Huss, who recommend sipping juice throughout the day and eating raw organic foods at night. Available exclusively in Manhattan, the cleanse is targeted to upwardly-mobile (read: fashionista) women who want to incorporate health into their decadent, indulgent lifestyles. According to the three different forms of cleanses offered (Renovation, Foundation, & Excavation, which are just fancy hype words for Beginner, Intermediate, and Expert), you delicately sip hydraulically-pressed juices four times a day, then eat a raw, organic meal at night. In their recent interview with Well + Good NYC, Sakoutis and Huss come across as fembots from Stepford who look down their noses at their own office staff who dare to practice their own eating habits. More »

Get Thee to a Beauty Farm, Housewives: Flashback Friday

Get Thee to a Beauty Farm, Housewives: Flashback Friday

Has anyone told you lately that you need a visit to the beauty farm? Well, you do. If you don’t want to suffer from “such nightmarish afflictions” like double chins and crow’s feet, that is. This fitness camp/spa hybrid has everything a modern woman could want: Giant poodles, a slimming couch (where “the fat is just beaten to death”), and, of course, liquids-only diets. Paradise does exist.
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